Wiring
I got the SPDT switch in. It works just like I want... well, sort of. For those of you who don't know what SPDT is, I'll simplify. It's a toggle that's center off, and up is on, or down is on. When it's up, the lights are on, and when it's down, the lights come on when I shift into reverse. I have it wired like the diagram in this thread, but no relay.
I originally wanted two separate lighted switches, different color for manual on, and for on w/reverse. I can't do that with this configuration. Oh well
I was talking to the old man, and he didn't know why I needed the relay. He said, "one switch, no relay, KISS (keep it simple, stupid). And, I just have one indicator light letting me know when the lights are on, no matter which mode. That's okay, I guess.
Problem: I remember now why I needed the relay. I thought since I had a switch that could handle the amps, I wouldn't need the relay. Well, when the lights come on in the reverse mode, they aren't as bright as when in manual mode. So, the relay is going back in. And since this discovery, I am on the trail of why I was blowing fuses with my previous setup. More to follow... .
SOLER