Hemoriods,how did you get

[JSmith]

rid of them. They are a PITA:{

 

[TORQUE THIS]

I think it's called divorce :-laf

 

[Doc Tinker]

Eat dried apricots - several handsfull a day



Doc

 

[TORQUE THIS]

80 grit sandpaper :-laf

 

[LSMITH]

I heard a Doc can chop them yo-yo's right off your bum and return you to "full duty". One of the guys I used to work with had the operation, boy did he pay for it too, we hammered him pretty good. See your Doc, but don't tell anyone

 

[LSMITH]

Originally posted by TORQUE THIS

80 grit sandpaper :-laf

:-laf :-laf :-laf

 

[TORQUE THIS]

Weed wacker

 

[LSMITH]

Originally posted by TORQUE THIS

Weed wacker

Would beat a chainsaw:--) :--) :--) :--)

 

[TORQUE THIS]

Acetylene torch...



There is already a burning sensation, wouldn't feel a thing!

 

[LSMITH]

Originally posted by TORQUE THIS

Acetylene torch...



There is already a burning sensation, wouldn't feel a thing!

That would certainly be a permanent fix

 

[Jumbo Jet]

I was on an Amtrak between Dallas and Phoenix when I had to use the facilities in a very bad way. I was kind of cheesed up from some Burger King chili burgers I had before the trip.



Anyhow, I gave the old toilet a mercy flush about halfway through my business and mine wrapped around the axle on the railroad car. My posterior was too big to fit through the toilet.



Well anyhow to make a long PITA short... . I haven't had a problem since!!

 

[Wayno]

Take it from someone who knows, go to the doctor now and don't let them get any worse . I had one of the worse cases that the hospital that I went to had ever seen . Mine had got ulcer's in them . It wasn't fun . The Doctors told me it would be the worst pain that I had ever had after the operation . Were they ever right . They said that there is a lot of nerves up in there , more nerves there than any other part of the body . I had never been operated on before . I have cut a finger d@m near off before and have had to get a finger cut open a time or two but I know now that was just a little pain :{ :{ :{ :{ :{ Oh and one other thing if you have to get them cut out you will be out of commission for about three weeks or so and you will be real clean cause you will spend a lot of time sitting in bath tub with super hot water in it . You wont be able to get that water tooooooooo hot

 

[LSMITH]

Originally posted by Jumbo Jet

I was on an Amtrak between Dallas and Phoenix when I had to use the facilities in a very bad way. I was kind of cheesed up from some Burger King chili burgers I had before the trip.



Anyhow, I gave the old toilet a mercy flush about halfway through my business and mine wrapped around the axle on the railroad car. My posterior was too big to fit through the toilet.



Well anyhow to make a long PITA short... . I haven't had a problem since!!

LOL, that is the topper of toppers!!

 

[Champane Flight]

Diet

I have had them for years. I have to go in for colon scopes every ten years. Diet can control them, however every once in awhile they flair up. The Docs just say "Not bad enough to operate yet". I don't know what they determine is bad enough?

 

[lschultz]

Spread em and get your wife to tie a rubber band around them real tight and they will fall off Diet and vitamins got rid of them for me. When to a doc long time ago and he stuck one back of with his big ole finger And yes it was a finger. At least I thought it was

 

[wcaldwell]

I do believe all of us would agree those things are a real PITA.

 

[Fireman Dave]

Howard (LSmith) really loves this thread. LOL :-laf :-laf

 

[Hillbilly Hotrodder]

Originally posted by lschultz

Spread em and get your wife to tie a rubber band around them real tight and they will fall off Diet and vitamins got rid of them for me. When to a doc long time ago and he stuck one back of with his big ole finger And yes it was a finger. At least I thought it was

How many hands did he have on your shoulder? Beware if he has one hand on each of your shoulders

 

[illflem]

Sliding nude down the banister several times a day keeps mine in check. If the banister starts getting too smooth rough it up with a waffle head hammer.



What I've heard that works well is if you have a mountain bike you can remove the seat and drag your butt on the knobby tire instead of using the brakes.

 

[Scot]

Dude, if they are getting bad, go get them fixed! I ended up in the ER with a seasoned surgeon .



This hospital did not normally perform surgery on weekends. I arrived at after noon on Saturday and was in the OR at 5pm. That was the time they needed to assemble the needed staff.



The first several days after were rough, but 2 weeks later, I was outside digging out and replacing a rusted propane service line in 95* heat.