How do you Bathe a Cat?

[BIG BOB]

1. Throughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The DOG

 

[Jumbo Jet]

A burlap sack, 3 bricks, and deep water... ... .

That's the method the Benton County animal shelter in NW Arkansas was using.

Their hearings are before the court this week. There are some upset animal lovers around these parts.

 

[Ramboy00]

BigBob-
Great post. LMAO.

------------------
'99 D3500, auto. ,2WD,3. 54 LSD, all options, Banks Power Pack w/K&N filter, '99 40ft. Alfa Gold Triple-slide 5'er

 

[illflem]

Best not do use that method in sub-freezing weather,or you will get a stiff cat. You don't need to clean the toilet beforehand,the cat will do a good job,will even remove hard water stains.

 

[sdalton]

Just remember to take the Tidy Bowl out, or you'll have a blue cat.

 

[Max340]

A fire hose.

------------------
Y2K 2500 QC Sport 4x4 LWB
72 Dart 340
89 LeBaron GTC 2. 2 TI

 

[RHARVEY]

#1 seller around our house is '101 uses for a dead cat'

Rick

------------------
RICK
97 2500,CC,5 SPEED, 3. 54 Limited Slip,Psychotty System,K&N, Pre-Turbo ISSPRO 3" Pyrometer & Boost Guage,Silencer Ring Removed
12,000 RBW 5th Wheel Hitch,25' Excel 5th Wheel,Rancho RSX17000 Shocks,Amsoil Dealer,Straight Piped

 

[Larry Willard]

BIGBOB
That was too funny, but I just let the wife take care of giving the cat a bath.
Larry

 

[outlawram]

Like the saying goes.....
The only good cat is a dead cat!

 

[RKohn]

I don't give the cat a bath very often. I hate coughing up those furballs afterwards. #ad


My cat's a major pain at the vet's and he figures he's going there every time we put him in the car, so lately I've been taking the nasty little critter to the truck stop when I buy fuel. I think he's kinda liking it, plus the cashier thinks he's really cute. I don't think she likes me at all. #ad


------------------
Y2K Red Stealth Sport 2500 4X4 QC SLT+, 5-spd, 3. 54 anti-spin, 265-75-16 LTX’s (There ain’t no such thing as options, cause ya gotta have it all, including: DC’s dead cow/vinyl interior and don’t stop anti-lock brakes. ) Stock, but not for long. Oops, too late. What silencer ring? (More fun than my 98 SST)

 

[jwgary]

Cat's are only good for one thing... DOG FOOD!

 

[The patriot]

My version:
1 Tie the cat to your tire. Be sure to tie him/her to the sidewall or you'll have a flat cat.

2 Liberally apply liquid soap.

3 Go for a ride, preferably in the rain. Try to keep the speed below 30 MPH or the soap may fly off too soon.

4 When you return, un-tie the cat. Try to pick out a clean part of the driveway for this because he/she may flop around for a couple minutes before gaining it's bearings.

PS I've never done this. I have performed "spin tests" on my cat (when I owned one) on the kitchen floor. Pretty funny to watch him run into cabinets before getting his bearings about him. #ad
#ad


------------------
98 Quad cab 4X4 2500 12 valve,5 speed,3. 54 rears, 8' bed. Michelin 275 75 16 lr-E. Boost and egt gauges but basicly stock except for a "properly adjusted" AFC. Cat in the garage. Uniden HR 2510, Texas Star 1200 amp. 63,000 Mi as of 1/27/01.
NRA life member. High power/IDPA.

 

[Bigsaint]

When bathing the cat in freezing temps. , just place him in the microwave for several minutes (usually the beverage setting will do, unless you have a tomcat). #ad




[This message has been edited by Bigsaint (edited 01-31-2001). ]

 

['956Wheel]

I had a problem with cats crapping in the garden. Well you know how us mechanics are, I built a trap, 1' X 1' X 3feet long tuna in the back hooked to a trip line, slams door shut. Next morning I had a cat... you would be amazed how many miles a cat can run in that small box when properly irrigated! #ad
#ad
No more poop in the garden... do those critters tell each other what happens? #ad


------------------
9535hundred

 

[RHARVEY]

What is fun is to watch 2 tom cats when they get caught in a trap like this. This was also after they had just went 10 rounds behind the house. One followed the other into the trip which tripped the door!!!!Needless to say there was not much hair left when I turned them loose the next morning #ad
#ad
#ad


Rick

------------------
RICK
97 2500,CC,5 SPEED, 3. 54 Limited Slip,Psychotty System,K&N, Pre-Turbo ISSPRO 3" Pyrometer & Boost Guage,Silencer Ring Removed
12,000 RBW 5th Wheel Hitch,25' Excel 5th Wheel,Rancho RSX17000 Shocks,Amsoil Dealer,Straight Piped

 

[WOWZY]

I wonder if you guys have done this.

You're at the house of a girl and it's your first date. You meet the parents on their way out for the evening and the girls cat comes up and starts rubbing it's body against your leg. In her presence, you rub the cat, pick it up and tell her how much you love that cat.

Later that evening after a terrible date you reluctantly walk her to the door and get the door slammed in your face. You walk down the steps and kick the cat!

No? Me neither.

My ex-girlfriend from back in the 80's had a french poodle that would growl and snap at me every time that I would give the girl friend a hug or just sit down beside her. While we were watching a movie at her house one night, I busted out laughing and gave my girlfriend a slap on the knee. The mutt jumps over her leg and snaps my fingers. I wanted to punch that mutt soooo bad, but I remained calm hoping the injury would be my ticket to score that night.

It worked like a charm and the home team scored a marvelous victory!

Later that week she and her parents had to go visit the college that she was attending and left me with feeding the pets for 2 days. The first day I went to her house and walked in the door. The mutt started growling and showing his teeth. I remembered the bite that I got a few days earlier and remembered that her Father had a set of Bar-B-Que gloves that would go up to the elbows in the garage.

I put the gloves on and cornered the insane mutt in the living room and it was on son!!

That dog was biting and scratching and literally screaming as I held it down on the couch popping it on the side of the head with the glove. As if sending it straight into a nervous break-down wasn't enough, I bit him on the leg for good measure. Then I let go and he ran straight under my girlfriends bed. I didn't have any more trouble out of the mutt, but my girlfriend didn't understand why her dog would run and hide everytime I visited.

 

[Whitmore]

WOZZZERS WOWZY,your way with woman is wildly wonderfuly wicked, wonder why?

 

['956Wheel]

Originally posted by WOWZY:
I wonder if you guys have done this.
As if sending it straight into a nervous break-down wasn't enough, I bit him on the leg for good measure.

MAN BITES DOG... FILM AT ELEVEN! #ad
#ad


WOWZY, Wanna "baby sit" my Mastiff?

Mike

------------------
9535hundred

 

[Bigsaint]

WOWZY... did you re-route that blow by bottle into the cab by chance #ad
Just kidding, LMAO #ad


Scott W.

 

[BreaksEverything]

just flippin through old theads again & thought this one was funny as hell

I loved how it starts out how to was a cat

then goes in to how to score w/ new g/f

by way of dog bite