How do you say Thanks?

[mgoncalves]

Here's the situation, I finally married my long time girlfriend last month. Her mom married her long time boyfriend "Don" about a year ago. Don, has been in the picture ever since I knew my wife, and she has hated him every second of it. He's had his moments where he's been a real piece of work, no doubt, but she's never given him any credit when he does something good.



Now, me and Don get along fine, I understand who he is and I have no issues with him. I think he likes me, or at least he will drink beer with me any time we go up to visit.



Now, her mom was going to get a loan to pay for our wedding (Thank You Mother in law!!), but Don stepped in at the last moment and spent his long saved shop money to the tune of about $8500. Now, he doesn't get to build his shop like he was planning this winter.



My wife couldn't care less (I don't blame her with their history) about his situation, but I feel bad for him. I've told him thanks, but I'm sure that doesn't quite make it seem worthwhile. I am trying to think of what to do for him to show my appreciation, but am not sure of what to do.



My only idea is to weld up a plaque that says, "Thanks Don" so he can put in his shop once he eventually builds it. Other than that I don't know what to do. I'd really appreciate some ideas on what to do for the guy, as I just am not sure how to really say thanks.





Thank you for any ideas,

Matt

 

[TRAMPLINEMAN]

The plaque sounds cool, but maybe when he starts building, lend a hand. Good free help is hard to come by.

 

[GFritsch]

Personally I think you ought to pay him the $8,500 back. Why should he be paying for your wedding? My wife and I got married when we were 21 years old and had a very simple wedding as I we did not have a lot of money, and refused to burden our relatives. It is interesting that your wife would accept money for your wedding from someone she hates. I would think that this would taint your ceremony.



It will make you feel better in the long run to work out a plan to pay him back, or perhaps partial payment and help him build his shop as Tramplineman suggests.



Greg

 

[Holysmokes]

Nothing says thank you like a new mega cab CTD 4x4.

 

[Holysmokes]

Nothing says thank you like a new mega cab CTD 4x4. Seriously... . especially given the situation with your wife... . just pay it back as soon as you can. That way no more "ties" to "the don" should the situation present itself as to where wife severs all ties to Don (big blow up argument)and you end up on Judge Judy

 

[trqmnstr]

I agree with ^

 

[GeneralMachine]

Don evedentley done this from the heart, and don't want anything in return. A thankyou would do it, and like was said all the help he needs when he does start the shop. Save up and get him somthing nice to help with the shop.

 

[mgoncalves]

Thanks for the advice.



I will of course help out with the shop, and it's certainly not a money issue, he wouldn't take it if I tried to pay him back. He actually offered us $10,000 when we first got engaged, if we would just go to vegas to get married, so he wouldn't have the hassle of all the stuff that comes with weddings.



I'm sure saying thanks was enough, but I still feel guilty his shop has to wait another year.



Matt

 

[bmoeller]

Why should he be paying for your wedding? My wife and I got married when we were 21 years old and had a very simple wedding as I we did not have a lot of money, and refused to burden our relatives.

It used to be tradition that the bride's parents paid for the wedding. Should still be. At least when it is FIRST marriage. Not after getting divorced from the first one. It is out of YOUR wallet then.



Get him a nice Snap-on toolbox.

 

[Holysmokes]

Sorry Matt... I was under the impression this was a loan and not a gift. What are his hobbies,intrests? Mabey the best gift (not to sound cheesy) is a tolerable relationship between wifey and don... is that possible?