Attention: TDR Forum Junkies Idiot #1
> > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> > poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> > she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that
> > the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> > daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
> > conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> > poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
> > bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #2
> > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
> > it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
> > river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
> > them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
> > locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
> > employed at Boeing.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #3
> > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank
> > of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put
all
> > your muny in this bag. " While standing in line, waiting to give his
note
> > to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
> > note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So
> > he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After
> > waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> > teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
> > wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
> > accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
> > deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
> > deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
> > the man said "OK" and left. He was arrested few minutes later, as he
was
> > waiting in line back at Bank of America.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #4
> > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
> > measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
> > received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of
> > payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days
> > later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
> > picture of handcuffs.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #5
> > A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
> > the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
> > the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
> > the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he
> > refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber
> > said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
> > didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license
> > out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over,
> > and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in
the
> > bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> > promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
> > that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #6
> > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop, nervously waving
> > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved,
> > the startled first bandit shot him.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #7
> > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> > head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
> > thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
> > window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #8
> > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> > into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
> > frustrated, walked away.
> > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
> > poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
> > she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her
that
> > the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her
> > daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the
> > conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
> > poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better
> > bring her daughter into the Emergency Room right away.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #2
> > Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
> > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
> > it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the
> > river, they were surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards
> > them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency
> > locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer
> > employed at Boeing.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #3
> > A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown
Bank
> > of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put
all
> > your muny in this bag. " While standing in line, waiting to give his
note
> > to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the
> > note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So
> > he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After
> > waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> > teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he
> > wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not
> > accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America
> > deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
> > deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated,
> > the man said "OK" and left. He was arrested few minutes later, as he
was
> > waiting in line back at Bank of America.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #4
> > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
> > measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
> > received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
of
> > payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days
> > later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
> > picture of handcuffs.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #5
> > A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all
> > the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag,
> > the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on
> > the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he
> > refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber
> > said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
> > didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his driver's license
> > out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over,
> > and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in
the
> > bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
> > promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
> > that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #6
> > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop, nervously waving
> > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved,
> > the startled first bandit shot him.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #7
> > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
> > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
> > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
> > head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
> > thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store
> > window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Idiot #8
> > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked
> > into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50am, flashed a gun and
> > demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
> > open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
> > rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
> > frustrated, walked away.
