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Joke of the day...

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My Uncle just told me this last night







Wal-Mart Joke





A man was in line at a cafeteria where he worked and he said to the guy in front of him,



“Well I guess I’m going to have to go to the doctor, my elbow is killing me”



Friend says: “you don’t have to go to the doctor, go to Wal-Mart, they have an analyzer machine, Costs $10, pour in a Urine sample and it will diagnose your problem. ”



“WOW! Says the man, Gotta try that!”

So he goes down to Wal-Mart and put in $10, then poured in the sample and very quickly, a computerized printout says ‘you have Tennis elbow. Soak it in warm water for a few days and it will get better. ’



The man is ecstatic, “Wow $10 for a diagnosis, better than going to a doctor!”.



So he goes home and is soaking his elbow and he wonders “Wonder if I can fool that computer…. ” So he gets some urine from himself again,his wife, his daughter, gets some water from the tap, and a little stool from his dog. And Just for good measure, he masturbates in it.



The next day, he takes the “mixture” down to the machine and puts in the $10 and shakes up the sample and pours it in.



The machine does it’s work and a minute later, a printout comes out. On it, it says



“Your water is hard, you need to get a softener,



your wife is pregnant with twins and they’re not yours, get an attorney



your Daughter has a cocaine habit, get her in for treatment.



Your dog has ringworm, get it to the vet



And if you don’t quit playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!



Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart! Have a nice Day!



:-laf :-laf :-laf
 
I was just reading an article about Willie Nelson... Willie was saying how he missed his friend Johnny Cash and that Johnny used to call Willie on the phone and ask him to tell him a joke, because Willie always had a bunch of them. The last time they spoke Cash was real sick, ol' Johnny called Willie and asked for a joke, this is the one Willie told him:



I went to the doctor the other day because I was feeling real bad, they did some tests on me and then after awhile the doctor called me into his office. The doctor said, "I have some good news for you and some bad news for you, which do you want to hear first?"

I said, give me the bad news first doc. The doctor says, "Well the bad news is you only have about 3 months to live. "

I said that its terrible news, so what is the good news? The Doc says,

"Did you see the cute little receptionist with the big tits when you came into the office?" I said yes I did, she's a real looker... . The doc then adds, "well I'm screwing her!"
 
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