Here I am

Joke of the day

Attention: TDR Forum Junkies
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The cost of environmental wackoism

Need TSB and recall info for '98 Caravan...

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. Subject: Fw: the joy of vaseline

>

>The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting

>loudly every morning when he woke. The noise would wake his wife and the

>smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning

>she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her

>sick. He told her he couldn't stop and that it was perfectly natural. She

>told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his

>guts out.

>

>The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving

>morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner

and

>he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the

>turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a

>malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where

>her husband was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bedcovers she

>pulled back the elastic waistband of his shorts and emptied the bowl of

>turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken

>with his usual trumpeting

which

>was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps

>as he raced to the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she

>rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes. After all the years of

>torture she reckoned she had got her own back. About twenty minutes later,

>her husband came downstairs in his blood

stained

>shorts with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked what

>was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All those years you warned

>me and I didn't listen to you. " "What do you mean," asked his wife. "Well,

>you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out and

>today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and these

>two fingers, I think I

got

>most of them back in. "









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Fireman engaged to this gal explaining station house signal bells.



Bell one - get out of the rack, get dressed for action.



Bell two - slide down the pole



Bell three - load up on the truck.



They get married and he instructs her on the bedroom signal bells.



Bell one - strip down



Bell two - get in the sack



Bell three - hang on for the ride



Everything was working out great until one night his wife yells "Bell Four".



He asks what Bell Four is for. She answers, roll out more hose, your not close enough to the fire!
 
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