Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
Houston folks will get it, I'm sure it can changed to reflect just about any metro city. 
Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Houston area market:
River Oaks Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Avenues Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Kingwood Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
Woodlands Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
Pasadena Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's a$$ when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.
Inner LoopBarbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.
Westheimer Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white sock no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call
her "Willow. "
Beaumont Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter-top. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old Ford pick up.
Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Houston area market:
River Oaks Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Avenues Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.
Kingwood Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
Woodlands Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports car or a souped up Hummer 2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway.
Pasadena Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweety bird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's a$$ when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free.
Inner LoopBarbie:
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard-print beach outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription available.
Westheimer Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and archless feet, sandals with white sock no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call
her "Willow. "
Beaumont Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of Barbie's house. Her make-up is dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter-top. Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi and a rusty old Ford pick up.
