My Wife is leaving!!

[AClayton]

Thanks guys-I thought this thread died but I have been busy lately. It has been almost 3 weeks since she moved out and I have been staying busy to keep my mind off of it. I helped her move and helped get her new home set up by sending in a painter and even put a new programmable t-stat on her heat pump. I have been cutting the grass for her to help out but soon I will basically ween myself out of the picture and let her live her life. It is what she wanted and I'm gonna give it to her. We are getting along much better now and even my girls seem very content and happy and things seem to be progressing well. I have to admit that I feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me and I actually am starting to think this may be the right thing for me... . err,us. At first I thought it just plain sucked but I'm convinced now that we should have just remained friends yrs ago before getting married.



As far as the future is concerned..... we will be getting a mediator very soon and we have talked about all the stuff already. I just need it to be legalized quickly and without delay to protect myself.



No divorce is easy but we are convinced that if things are done amicably,it is better for both of us and especially the kids. They think it is fun to have 2 houses to play in and thus far have not asked any inquiring questions. Although,when the time comes when a strange guy in Mommy's house or a strange girl in Daddys house is lurking around, we will have to deal with it maturely.



I won't be moving on anytime soon but my head is clearing and things are getting better. I have splurged and bought new Mach 4 injectors for my truck as good wil gesture to myself:-laf ... . just waiting for Mid-Atlantic Diesel to install them.



Alan

 

[Loghead]

Well Alan, I really don't want to put a stick in your spokes, because it sounds as if you're handling this better than I would.



BUT!

Be ready and take whatever precaution you may.

Women, even the best of 'em, need a close knit support web. The company of other women, which supplies emotional support without the "demands" of sex and having extra housework to moan about, will be this support web.



There is a HUGE interest in western society in tearing down men-akin to what KnightR (oops! it was Mark31) said in "tearing your heart out and showing it to you" before you actually expire (at least emotionally).



Whether or not Ms Clayton intends, at this point in time, to hurt you further than what she has, her network of friends (many of them divorced man-haters) will not merely encourage her to hurt you further, but demand it.



The social pressure to hurt you further will manifest itself as an unspoken ultimatum- "you can't really be one of us until you prove you hate him", and she'll do it (if she wouldn't, you wouldn't be alone right now); I'll bet my bottom dollar.



Deep down inside, none of us really changes much from the way we were in grade school, in terms of clique-ishness and pressure to conform.

We just get more sophisticated at hiding that fact.

 

[AClayton]

Well Alan, I really don't want to put a stick in your spokes, because it sounds as if you're handling this better than I would.



BUT!

Be ready and take whatever precaution you may.

Women, even the best of 'em, need a close knit support web. The company of other women, which supplies emotional support without the "demands" of sex and having extra housework to moan about, will be this support web.



There is a HUGE interest in western society in tearing down men-akin to what KnightR (oops! it was Mark31) said in "tearing your heart out and showing it to you" before you actually expire (at least emotionally).



Whether or not Ms Clayton intends, at this point in time, to hurt you further than what she has, her network of friends (many of them divorced man-haters) will not merely encourage her to hurt you further, but demand it.



The social pressure to hurt you further will manifest itself as an unspoken ultimatum- "you can't really be one of us until you prove you hate him", and she'll do it (if she wouldn't, you wouldn't be alone right now); I'll bet my bottom dollar.



Deep down inside, none of us really changes much from the way we were in grade school, in terms of clique-ishness and pressure to conform.

We just get more sophisticated at hiding that fact.

Thanks for the concern Loghead and I do appreciate the input. I will see what the mediator says about all this and work with it very carefully.



Alan