I am so disillusioned. Like President (soon-to-be-ex) Klinton, in times of great personal stress and self-doubt I could always go to my honorable friend, Mr. Jesse Jackson, for wise counsel and get pointed in the right direction again.
There are reports (undoubtedly planted by a great right-wing conspiracy) that Mr. Jackson has fathered an illegitimate child. These reports must be a cruel lie. The Jesse Jackson I know would never do such a thing. Think of what this would do to his legitimacy. How could he ever again preach to the great unwashed about how we should conduct our lives without being laughed out of the room?
Jesse, please tell me it ain't so!!
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There are reports (undoubtedly planted by a great right-wing conspiracy) that Mr. Jackson has fathered an illegitimate child. These reports must be a cruel lie. The Jesse Jackson I know would never do such a thing. Think of what this would do to his legitimacy. How could he ever again preach to the great unwashed about how we should conduct our lives without being laughed out of the room?
Jesse, please tell me it ain't so!!

