Paul:
first of all, let me be the first to congradulate you and the missus on your upcoming 25th!!
Now, as a master of relationships (twice divorced and now happily single), let me give you a few pointers here.
1. find someone to drive your rig down to Tulare
2. act as though you made those reservations and drive your bride to Oakland airport or San Jose or wherever.
3. heavily sedate the little woman with alcohol at the airport bars, (bring lots of cash, this can get spendy)
4. hire a plane, maybe a wayward crop duster or such to drop you off in Tulare while you take the little woman to the "MILE HIGH CLUB" (after all it is your anniversary)
5. Tell her you knew that New Orleans would be booked this time of the year , so you had your rig sent ahead.
as far as the rest, I will bring my sawzall with a silencer and muffle the Honda generator, we can put an apron on HVAC and tell her its Paul Prudhome,and he is cooking dogs on DEPOs grille, you can tell her that the other folks were some that also came along for the New Orleans weekend and they got hit with a sand storm.
As far as throwing away your 25th to see guys like Blair and Nowel... ... ... .....
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you got some problems there!!!!!!!
look forward to meeting you ( if you survive)
big jake