ODE TO THE SPORTLAWN 18
When we bought our new house in 1984
I found myself with two lawns yet without a lawn mower
But then my cousin Jerry came forth to the rescue
He gave me his old mower to help maintain my fescue
It had once been his father’s, my Great-Uncle Andy
And I thought it would cut all my tall grass just dandy
She had seen a few years, almost older than me
But I needed a mower and this one was free
Painted bright Toro red with the reel cutting clean
There was no better mower than the Sportlawn 18
I cleaned her up spotless and then changed the oil
She was now ready to help me with each weekend’s toil
By pulling the cord after setting the choke
She surged to new life with a puff of blue smoke
The air filter was clean and the fuel tank was full
Briggs and Stratton revved always on just the third pull
When I ran up the throttle and dropped her in gear
She self-propelled smoothly over grass front and rear
The sweet shearing action of that sharp curved-steel reel
Gave my lawns all the pride that a golf course would feel
As the years rolled on past she would start to show wear
So I’d pick up a new part for her here and there
A new set of tires as they became worn
A grass-catcher basket when the fabric was torn
It has rollers of wood, when they wore out, all three
I turned them on my lathe out of ash from my tree
I kept her all stock not even the spark plug was altered
And she ran and she ran and she never once faltered
We two have walked lawns for many a mile
leaving grass like a carpet that made my wife smile
But she’s now at least 50 as mower years go
And that rattle and clunk means she’s starting to slow
They no longer make tires, I’m near riding on rims
And that once-bright red paint is beginning to dim
So a decision was made, that was difficult at best
I’ve decided the old girl’s earned a well-deserved rest
Sure, I’d love to be done with the chore of lawn mowing
But the darn grass in spring keeps continually growing
So I went shopping for mowers all shiny and new
But they have no idea what I’m going through
They all look so funny, so big with four wheels
And not one of them comes with that smooth-cutting reel
But I’m left with no choice, only pain in my heart
For she’s tired, she’s old, and she’s falling apart
Well, I bought one that was at least partially red
Rolled it out to my truck and slid it into the bed
When I brought the box home I hid it from view
Of my Sportlawn 18, twas the least I could do
Please don’t tell Uncle Andy or Auntie Yolanda
But I finally went out and bought a new Honda
When we bought our new house in 1984
I found myself with two lawns yet without a lawn mower
But then my cousin Jerry came forth to the rescue
He gave me his old mower to help maintain my fescue
It had once been his father’s, my Great-Uncle Andy
And I thought it would cut all my tall grass just dandy
She had seen a few years, almost older than me
But I needed a mower and this one was free
Painted bright Toro red with the reel cutting clean
There was no better mower than the Sportlawn 18
I cleaned her up spotless and then changed the oil
She was now ready to help me with each weekend’s toil
By pulling the cord after setting the choke
She surged to new life with a puff of blue smoke
The air filter was clean and the fuel tank was full
Briggs and Stratton revved always on just the third pull
When I ran up the throttle and dropped her in gear
She self-propelled smoothly over grass front and rear
The sweet shearing action of that sharp curved-steel reel
Gave my lawns all the pride that a golf course would feel
As the years rolled on past she would start to show wear
So I’d pick up a new part for her here and there
A new set of tires as they became worn
A grass-catcher basket when the fabric was torn
It has rollers of wood, when they wore out, all three
I turned them on my lathe out of ash from my tree
I kept her all stock not even the spark plug was altered
And she ran and she ran and she never once faltered
We two have walked lawns for many a mile
leaving grass like a carpet that made my wife smile
But she’s now at least 50 as mower years go
And that rattle and clunk means she’s starting to slow
They no longer make tires, I’m near riding on rims
And that once-bright red paint is beginning to dim
So a decision was made, that was difficult at best
I’ve decided the old girl’s earned a well-deserved rest
Sure, I’d love to be done with the chore of lawn mowing
But the darn grass in spring keeps continually growing
So I went shopping for mowers all shiny and new
But they have no idea what I’m going through
They all look so funny, so big with four wheels
And not one of them comes with that smooth-cutting reel
But I’m left with no choice, only pain in my heart
For she’s tired, she’s old, and she’s falling apart
Well, I bought one that was at least partially red
Rolled it out to my truck and slid it into the bed
When I brought the box home I hid it from view
Of my Sportlawn 18, twas the least I could do
Please don’t tell Uncle Andy or Auntie Yolanda
But I finally went out and bought a new Honda