Well I would never tell anybody what I am about to tell all of you.
I am on Paxil,the Doc gave them to me last summer because of my financial situation,I felt like there was no were to turn and felt like everyone was against me and my family,you talk about ROAD RAGE that was me,I would get so mad that if someone looked over at me on the road,sitting at a light I would get out to find out what there problem was,well it wasn't like me to do this and it was really scaring my wife and child. I was so afraid of losing my lifestyle It was like I was paranoyed,I would get up from the couch with us all watching a movie and pick a fight with my wife,and after the aftermath of the fight I would just cry and try to figure out what was happening to me. My wife was working 80 90 hours a week to keep the bills payed,I wasn't working much was a bad summer for boats. Well anyway I finally went to the Doctor and the first thing he sugested was Paxil,and I found out I had Thyroid disease that in itself can cause you to lose step with life,so I got meds for the thyroid and Paxil,well it took two weeks for the Paxil to take effect and after that I was back to my old self.
Well after about 3 months or so,I could not function,I would sleep for 20 hours,wouldnt get up out of bed all day,I gained weight and for those who know me know I am a big guy,well I got bigger.
I didn't care about nothing,I would forget to get my child from school,my ability to hold a conversation was gone,all I wanted to do was do NOTHING. I lost my contract to haul boats except on a interem basis because on the economy. I feel like I am being watched,I am more paranoyed now than I was before I started on the Paxil.
Right know as I right this I feel numb and broken,I just can't function anymore.
I have tryed getting off Paxil,Ive tryed other stuff like Wellbutrin but I always have to go back on the Paxil because I can't take it,I feel like I am absolutely going crazy.
I was in the hospital a couple months ago for chest pains,and I told them how I was feeling,but they never sugested getting off Paxil. So yes im still on it,I have good days and some real bad days when I feel like there is nothing I can do.
I can't drive,I walk like im drunk most of the time,I thought I had an inter ear infection but I don't, it is all do to Paxil,I am just lost,I don't know what to do,my wife lost her job I lost mine,we are trying not to lose everything,I have been to two ,well I can't spell it but 2 shrinks and they think the Paxil is the best thing since the Cummins engine
I am sorry this is so long,but I read this post and I just couldn't believe it and It all just came out.
I have always been a go getter,all last summer I spent up north at the cabin all by myself,I love it up there,but I never went out on my boat didnt fish much,but I could sleep all day long,and that isn't me,it is hard to explain how I feel the walls are closing in and I just want my life back,I am trying to get off the Paxil,but with all that is happening in my life it is almost impossible,at leased I feel like it is.
I don't think I think about suicide,but I think sometimes this isn't worth it and would be better off . .
If I dont take the Paxil I have panic attacks.
So I guess I am saying,don't take Paxil it can distroy you,it has me,I don't think I could hold a job right now,I did work 1 day yesterday,I hauled 2 boats to the Pontiac Silverdome,and my wife had to drive,I simply could not,I am so weak my reflexes are off so much,I just can't drive safely. .
I am afraid my doctor will take me off them and I will tell you I would go absolutely mad without Paxil,I could not go cold turkey,I have tryed and I have tryed taking one every other day,but it isn't working.
I am so imbarast telling the whole world this,but if it will help people to find another alternative,please try Paxil will ruin you,don't take it,find something else,see more than one doctor. .
I am sorry this is so long,and please don't think im crazy
Thanks for listening. .
And again sorry it was so long. .
