Bill,
From a GVWR "rated" weight perspective that the republic of KA might enforce or some rare DOT officer in the rest of the nation might enforce, yes, technically your truck is overloaded because gross weight exceeds factory GVWR.
In my experience, since your use is strictly non-commercial private owner activity you should rarely if ever come under the scrutiny of DOT officers. However, from time to time we read articles in RV publications or general media suggesting that state legislators are aware of all the money they are leaving lying on the highways of their states due to overloaded RVs. The current administration, if unchecked, would eventually focus their greedy, beady little eyes on the RV industry and attempt to regulate it out of existence by claiming overloaded RVs present a huge threat to the Yugo and Prius driving crowd.
I don't know about your licensed weight. I assume you registered your truck for 14,000# or at least enough to cover your gross weight.
The internet weight police always claim that in the event of a major crash with significant property damage and injuries, perhaps even loss of life, a jury in some jurisdictions might assign blame and responsibility for operating in excess of GVWR. A slimy trial lawyer representing the family of someone who was injured would surely think of that. I think that a courtroom loss is possible but a fairly remote risk. I would not want to test the system in an area such as Austin, TX or along the TX/MX border where the politicians have (D) behind their names.
In the realm of actual or safe weight, you and I both know your truck is not overloaded. Four Michelin rear tires rated at about 2800# each in dual configuration, Timbren donuts, and an anti-sway bar combined with your conservative driving style and experience with trucks probably make your rig safer than many of the load carrying trucks any of us see on the highways every day.
If I was going to haul a big slide-in like yours I would own a Ram 4500. A Ram 4500 would have a 16,500 GVWR and I expect it would ride and handle very well with your Lance resting on the rear axle.