Here I am

Protecting us from our own stupidity

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Save the Children!!!!

My best Army assignment

That kind of crap is the result of lawyers and dim wits who sue when they screw up. Like the hot coffee in the lap thing with McDonalds.
 
If you want some real humor, look at all the posters on a new Jetski. I pulled about a dozen stickers off since they covered the ski. My favorite was the one that warned women not to get their private parts in the way of the water jet since it could cause vaginal damage. This isnt the exact wording, but that is what it meant. Probably took a bunch of lawers at least a week to sugar coat that statement. Next time you are at a Yamaha dealer look for this warning label. It's on there... . For what it's worth, there is no warning telling people not to french kiss the water jet while the engine is running. I am sure some idiot will try this down the road and sue Yamaha.



Could you imagine if airplanes had to have the same warning labels?? there would be no room on the plane for any paint.
 
I had someone pass along a whole list of these things to me a while back. I left in the original comments too. :D





On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping. "

( Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair. )



On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. "

(Evidently, the shoplifter special. )



On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap. "

(And that would be how. . . ?)



On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost. "

(But it's *just* a suggestion. )



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn upside down. "

(Oops, too late!)



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating. "

(As night follows the day. . . )



On packaging fra a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body. "

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)



On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. "

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts. )



On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness. "

(one would hope. )



On most brads of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only. "

(As opposed to what?)



On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use. "

(I gotta admit, I'm curios. )



On Sainsbury's Peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts. "

(NEWS FLASH!)



On an American Alirlines' packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. "

(Step 3: Fly Delta. )



On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. "

(I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one. )



On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. "

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief!)



On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food. "

(hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK honey, just grab the Palmolive!)



On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control. "

(Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?)



:eek:

Michael
 
Do Not drink......

... ... the electrolyte in the battery. It is highly corrosive.



( From my '82 BMW motorcycle owner's manual. Unfortunately, I hadn't read that far into the manual and drunk about half of it before I knew any better. ) :cool:
 
Unbelievable, I know.

In our engineering office, we posted a 'funny', but you wouldn't believe the customers who take it seriously... ??!



"Eating blueprints during pregnancy can be hazardous to your health. "
 
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Blame lawyers and whiners for all the reduntant warnings. Then to make matters worse, some companys will print a topic in perhaps four languages, one after the other. At least the ones who start with English then go to some other language make it easy to tear out what you don't need and throw it where it belongs.
 
Ever notice sometimes when you buy a pair of shoes it comes with that little packet of stuff(not sure what it is). It always says DO NOT EAT on it. Like I am gonna crack open a pair of nikes and ask "hmm whats this?" and eat it???? Evidently its been a problem in the past.



And who is the *sshole that used the hairdryer in the bathtub and caused those warning labels lol ;)

Clark
 
BadFish - There was a guy, up here in Michigan, who threw a hairdryer in the shower when his wife was in there. Maybe that's why they put that label on them now :rolleyes:

Do you think maybe he read that label and wondered what would happen, so he just had to give it a try? LOL



Doc
 
Funniest one I ever seen.

On an aerosol can of wasp spray from a company named "Share"

Keep out of the reach of chilren. (not mispelled from me)

Tim
 
I agree with JoeG and QTRHRS, it may not be from someone's stupidity as much as stupid lawsuits because there were no warning labels



How about picking up a running lawnmower to trim a hedge and loosing your finger tips?
 
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My mom has a box knife that has this on the warning label



Cuation: Keep Out Of Children



I wonder how many lives have been saved due to that label lol ;)

Clark
 
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