Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
Next time you have a bad day at work... think of this guy.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it
to radio station 103. 2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless
to say, she won.
Hi Sis, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack
of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your
butt.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in
Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it
to radio station 103. 2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne, Indiana,
who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless
to say, she won.
Hi Sis, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after
all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear
a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We
have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000
piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats
it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the
diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds, my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my
back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack
of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish
into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact
that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing
hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water
decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I
could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing
nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for
two days because my butt was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish up your
butt.
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