I have read all the posts and I understand what you want to do , I just can't quite get how you are trying to do it. I am interested because this is a project that I would like to do for my truck also. I will require a report from you.....
Let me take a stab at it what I understand. You want to tap into the wire from the ECM that controls the relay that turns on the LP? When you say "relay trigger" is this what you mean?
I had envisioned doing this kind of, but not quite the same as the way you plan to do it. Keep in mind that I am not 100% sure about all of this, because I have not done this project yet.
The LP can function at two speeds, as mine did before the Smarty. At engine start it ran at slow speed for a few seconds, then kicked to high speed. Because the pump only has two wires going to it I am going to say that this speed switching occurs at the pump relay. Lets say it requires 12v to run at 100% speed and 6v to run at 50% speed. The relay most likely has 2 ways to power up the pump. One way has a resistor (6v - 50%) and the second way has no resistor (12v - 100%). The ECM chooses which circuit to power up in the relay and power is applied to pump. The pump itself does not care.
On to the meat and potatoes.
The pump relay will act as an isolator between the pump and the ECM. By this, I mean that there are two sperate electrical circuits. Power for one circuit is through the ECM to the relay coil to ground. Power for the other is from the battery (via 12v bus) through the relay contacts to the power side of the pump to ground. They are not electrically connected directly. Think of your RV battery isolator here.
Keeping this in mind, to power up the pump all you need is connect power downstream of the relay. Electrically the pump does not care where its power comes from. Most likely the relay does not switch open the ground wire, but rather leaves it connected at all times to the battery ground bus. Only the 12v side is switched open and closed. But without experimentation I don't know for sure. This connection would be a likely spot to install the diodes as described above. With the diodes you will only apply power to the pump and will decrease the likelyhood of damaging the contacts in the pump relay.
To make this work most simply requires that you fuse a power circuit through the switch in your dash to the pump. Has long as the switch is closed power is is connected to the pump everything will work fine. Either the dash switch or the ECM relay can start the pump, but both need to be off / open to stop it.
A glitch could be that the pump itself pulls more power than a dash mounted switch would really like to carry. If this is the case, then this is why you would need a second relay. The dash mounted switch controls the second relay which controls the pump. In that case the dash switch and the second relay would both need fuses on the 12v supply wire.
So the circuits would be:
Stock
ECM ---> Relay coil ----> Ground
Battery Bus ---> Relay contacts ---> Pump ---> Ground
Dash Switch
Battery Bus ---> Fuse B ---> Dash Switch ---> Pump ---> Ground
-or-
Battery Bus ---> Fuse A ---> Dash Switch ---> 2nd Relay coil ---> Ground
Battery Bus ---> Fuse B ---> 2nd Relay contacts ---> Pump ---> Ground
My plan is that I eventually will just disregard the power from the ECM relay (probably just pull it out). I plan to install a mechanical 12 valve LP and only use an electric LP for priming and back up. The electrical pump will be mounted at the fuel tank.
Sorry to have such a long post, hope this helps you out.
Jim