Here I am

something to offend everyone

Attention: TDR Forum Junkies
To the point: Click this link and check out the Front Page News story(ies) where we are tracking the introduction of the 2025 Ram HD trucks.

Thanks, TDR Staff

Battery Charger Needed

This should get ya through the day!







I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days. ' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power. '







I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.







A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'.







I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said 'Any Change?' I said, 'Nope, you�re still black'.







Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!







A 10-year Old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this morning. ' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father O�Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment. '







Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!







Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.







I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself. 'I�m going to take that. '







Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Iowa. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, �where am I?� The farmer looks back up and shouts back. �You�re in that basket. �







I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer... hell, how did I know they wanted the name of a country?
 
Got one you could add to the list.



On our trip to Indy at a fuel stop we were walking into the building and a Lot Lizard asked if I wanted a DATE!!! I said No Thanks I cant eat Dates they give me the I TRIED TO BY-PASS THE CUSSING FILTER'S.



My Wife and Nephew were :confused: as hell, Sitting at the table in the restaurant it finally came to them :eek:



Some are pretty slow on the uptake of things :-laf:-laf
 
Q: Why do Republican politicians never conduct business on the same street where a prostitute is working?











A: Professional courtesy!
 
@OP: I see from your sig that you have been around this forum/ website for along time too. I find TDR a little more lax when it comes to editing or deleting post when compared to other forums of which I belong, but I find your post a little disturbing and offensive.












I am offended because there is no mention of Pollacks in your post. :-laf:-laf:-laf;)
 
A different Genre; Why Teachers Drink

Heres a few more! GregH



The following questions were set in last year's GED examination

These are genuine answers from 16 year olds... and they WILL breed.



Q. Name the four seasons

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.



Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.



Q. How is dew formed

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.



Q. What causes the tides in the oceans

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight



Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.



Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.



Q. What are steroids

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)



Q. What happens to your body as you age

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental



Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)



Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes

A. Premature death.



Q. What is artificial insemination

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.



Q. How can you delay milk turning sour

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant)



Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e. g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U. (wtf!)



Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie.



Q. What does 'varicose' mean?

A. Nearby.



Q. What is the most common form of birth control

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)



Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome .



Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)



Q. What is a terminal illness

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)



Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas



Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)



Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (brilliant)



Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head.
 
Here is the Polish Joke:

HEADLINE-Air Disaster

Poland's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna
152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland.
Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 326 bodies so far and
expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
 
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