Spring classes for women

[MMeier]

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

by Tuesday, May 5, 2009



NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.





Class 1

Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat

Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 wks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs beginning at 7:00 PM. .

Class 2

Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or *****ing About It for 3 Hours?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?--Group Debate.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?

Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning

at 7:00 PM

Class 6

How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?

Open Forum.

Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to Shop by Yourself.

Meets 4 wks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering To Take a List To The Store, Avoiding Separate Trips for Each Item Needed.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



Send this to all the gals that you think can stand the heat, and to all the men for the best chuckle of their day!

 

[pullya]

And where would you like us to plan your wake when your wife reads that and sees your signature????? My wife read it and just sort of smiled so I guess i'll be getting supper tonight. ( I thought it was really funny)

Jay

 

[MMeier]

No worries 'bout that!! No ring on my finger... and probably never will be either !!

 

[WDaniels]

Mark,

ROTFLMAO! Your might want to add another one about smoke detectors not being a notification when the dinner is done.

WD

 

[Loghead]

I'd like to sign someone up for Class #11.

She drives our carpool once a week and I'd swear her car only has an on/off switch... .

She probably could benefit from the entire course, but since I don't have to live with the crazy wench... .

 

[Adventure Bob]

"No ring on my finger... and probably never will be either !!

After this post I can see why... LOL! Keep it up bachelor man.

my favorite "Class 2 Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or *****ing About It for 3 Hours?"

"you don't fall in if it's left up. " She *****ed

so I said "Well, then it would behoove you to make sure it's down before you sit. "

and thats when the fight started...

 

[MChrist]

Do we complain when they leave the toilet seat DOWN?

 

[nickleinonen]

Do we complain when they leave the toilet seat DOWN?

no but they sure do if you are too lazy to lift it and miss a little on the aim :-laf

some of those classes might be good for the clowns i work with. with me in the maintenance dept now, i have to rectify all the washroom problems. now when they make a mess in the stall from the beans & skunk they had the day before, putting the whole roll of tp in the bowel to cover the mess doesn't make things better

 

[Sled Puller]

heheheheheheeh:-laf

 

[fest3er]

heheheheheheeh:-laf

Red-haired experience?

 

[Loghead]

The reason they complain about toilet seats is the same reason that the back of a woman's car is always dented in:



They never look when backing up.

 

[rbattelle]

Class 11

Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.

I thought it was only my wife that did this! Good to know I'm not alone.



[If she knew I wrote this, I'd be sleeping on the couch for a week].



Ryan

 

[Adventure Bob]

Progresive deaceleration eluded my bride for years. It took multiple explanations that the pressure was inverse to the speed of the vehicle, not constant.