St. Patrick's Day Gauge Contest (Autometer) - Ends: March 31, 2011

[TDRadmin]

OK, I've seen some of your creative writing before and it is time for more!



How bad do you want an Autmeter gauge package for your truck (including mount)? Pretty bad, huh? OK, well all you have to do is write a (reasonably clean please) limerick. That's it. What else did you expect for March (snicker) and St. Patrick's Day?



To get you started here . . .



There once was an old chick who dug trucks

'til one day her old truck got stuck



Then out of the blue

Her truck turned to new



Now that's what I'd really call luck!



OK, I know you can do better.



Winner gets? Compliments of Geno's Garage - an Autometer gauge package of three gauges (sorry, no special order gauges) including gauge mount. If you already have gauges, you can exchange for a $300 gift certificate to Geno's Garage.



Two runners up will be selected by random drawing for a one-year complimentary renewal to the TDR!



Any inappropriate limericks will be removed. Like it or not, we need to keep it clean.



OK, sit back and pour yourself a little green beer and get those poetic pens moving.

 

[Grizzly]

My wife loves to drive my Dodge truck. She love the sound of the mighty Cummins diesel. She even loves the smell of the exhaust. She loves the awesome power when pulling the 5er. She also loves to drive the truck empty. She's also crazy about the PacBrake when it's doing it's thing. She misses the rattle of the 95.



I think she's got a little diesel in her blood.



grizzly

 

[Edgemann55]

There once was a man named Gene

Who had a Cummins so mean!

That when he pounded the pedal

It smoked like the devil

Makin the guy behind him not so clean!

 

[TDRadmin]

Excellent Start!

Nice work! Keep it up.

 

[owredneckmike]

Duramax & Powerstroke in the snow

Slid off the road and couldn’t go

They heard my Cummins roar

And wished they had a ram on their door



Cheesy, but the best I could do and keep it clean.

 

[MMeier]

Man...

... this keeping it clean thing is really irritating !!!! :{

 

[AMink]

I once drove my Ram all around

Its power would punish the ground

But diesel spiked high

I now sit here and cry

My truck in the drive makes no sound.

 

[mwilson]

There once was a truck lover from Maine

Whose neighbors all find him inane

Owned one Diesel truck

Bought a second for luck

Now all the poor man does is maintain... ... ..... :-laf

 

[Allnew2Me]

There once was a man from Nantucket

His huge trailer he wanted to truck it

He tried with a Chevy,

But found it too heavy,

His D-Max is now in a bucket





A fifth-wheel with 6 tons of weight

Had need for delivery not late

He thought of old Blue,

But in his heart he knew

That Six was far better than Eight!

 

[Allnew2Me]

We can't be done already.

A rich man, he made it in stocks

Now broke, right down to his socks

He bought all the snake oil

From filters to foil

And still the TC unlocks :{









There once was a man we called Clyde

Who chose Cummins and Dodge as his ride

Although massively powered

He sheepishly cowered

Once again, his lift pump had died

 

[JDiehl]

Ole Whity is a bad machine



Not a spot on her, she is always clean



To run less lean, she needs some gauges



That I can't afford on a fireman"s wages



When the tires hit the road it sure does scream

 

[gtoli]

There once was a man from Winslow

with a trailer his blue oval could not tow

With the power of a Cummins in a Ram truck

he new that it was not just from good luck

he could climb any hill

without any thrill

with the trailer in tow

the Cummins would go

day in and day out

without any doubt

the only thing that he could need

were gauges to monitor his mighty steed

I know that it is not a gimmick

so to you I submit this limmerick!



OUCH! Creativity hurts my brain.

 

[AMink]

My friends, they all seem to drive 'Strokes
I try to stay away from the jokes
Six always beats eight
When haulin' the freight
Anything else is a hoax.

The gauges were in my Gen two
To monitor all that I knew
My Gen 3 has none
And continues to run
Yet I'd still like to add just a few.

 

[04blackcherry]

True Story...

My buddy drove an old Ford
After awhile he ended up bored

He then saw my new ride
Him and the wife did decide

But instead of a Cummins he re-Stroked

 

[ENafziger]

There once was a dodge without gauges,
But couldn't be gotten with wages.

Then some fine diesel folk,
Helped he who was broke,

Thus started the BOMBing stages!



--Eric

 

[STeichert]

There once was a Dodge from Idaho

It starts when it's 40 below

The Powerstroke guys

They moan and they sigh

Because they can't get their trucks to go

 

[seafish]

I once had a Dodge Ram lacking gauges,
With its Cummins it ran great for ages,
When the lift pump took a dump,
I sure felt like a chump,
For ignoring the wisdom in TDR's pages.

Whereas I still wanted to drive my truck fast,
I bought an aftermarket lift pump from FASS,
I cut holes in the air box,
Built a free flowing exhaust,
Then added twin turbos to increase air mass.

Next I put in a VP44 that was hot-rodded,
And installed injectors which had been modded,
The torque was uncanny,
So I upgraded the transmission,
I also inserted alloy head studs and pushrods.

When my wife saw the bills, she started to yell,
She insisted I stop buying parts for a spell,
I called her a tightwad,
For nixing the triple-pod,
Of course I spent the night by myself at a motel.

But buying is much different then winning,
And my wife can't construe winning as sinning,
TDR could save my marriage,
by accessorizing my carriage,
Three free gauges would leave us BOTH grinning.

With all the great gauges at Geno's Garage,
One might think that the choices would give me pause,
But a Fuel Pressure gauge first,
So the new VP44 won't thirst,
Failure due to low lift pressure being one of its flaws.

I would likely then choose a Pyrometer second,
To help let me know when high EGT's threaten,
Avoiding a breakdown,
From cylinder meltdown,
By slightly easing up on the pedal that beckons.

And last, but not least, I would introduce
A third crucial gauge, that simply reads Boost
I could feather my foot,
And blow out less soot,
Maintaining the airflow in line with the juice.

Now I hope that this challenge is fated,
To help my truck get gauges belated,
If I win this contest,
My CTD will be blessed,
With information ensuring the engine is sated.

 

[RedRamAndy]

Everyone knows that real trucks rattle

with the power of stampeding cattle.

The bowties and blue ovals know

they can't even play in the show

It's the Dodge Ram truck that wins the battle.





As you might figure out I'm from the First Gen crowd

who are used to having their diesels loud

but thats not to slight the new Ram riot

who drive the new fury deceivingly quiet.

 

[Allnew2Me]

At my truck brand-new I just stared

All that torque, I was just a bit scared!

Paid it off in 4 years

Followed soon by just tears

As my 53 block was repaired





Ol'Dodge was the first of his picks

Heard it never needed a fix

Towing hills in the heat

Trip was almost complete

Till he melted Ol' #6

 

[Missouri Mule]

With my Missouri Mule

I don't need many tools

It rarely breaks

So keeping the Mule on the road

is a piece of cake

Even with warning lights glowing

The Mule keeps going