Ten Proposed New Laws For This Crisis:

[Forrest]

1. To buy an American flag, you must present proof you have voted at least once in the last three elections (yes, local and state elections count).



2. To display an American flag in any form, you must present proof of voter registration.



3. To wave an American flag in public, you must be able to name at least one of the following:

A. Your Senator B. Your Representative

C. Your President ("George Bush" does not count; ambiguous)



4. To sell any product with an American flag on it, you must answer the following question:



The Bill of Rights is part of:

a/ the Constitution b/ the Magna Carta

c/ the Declaration of Independence.



5. Those heard singing patriotic songs in public may be asked to show their voter registration cards.



6. To be permitted to scream "Nuke Afghanistan," you must be able to correctly locate Afghanistan on a map or globe.



7. To be permitted to scream "Arabs go home," you must list and correctly locate ten Arab homelands.



8. Those who wish to express opinions about Arabs and Arab-Americans must pass the following test:



A. Those who follow the religion of Islam are called:

a/ Moslems

b/ Muslins c/ Fanatics



B. The holy book of Islam is called:

a/ The Koran b/ The Koram

c/ The Bible



C. In Arabic, God is called:

a/ Ali

b/ Allah

c/ Jehovah



9. Priority for purchase of American flags will be given to those whose ancestors lived on American soil the longest. When all American Indians who wish to display the red, white and blue are satisfied, other applicants will be accepted.



10. A call for war on any radio talk-show will be construed as a public declaration of willingness to enlist in the US Army; callers will have 24 hours to complete the paperwork.

 

[Barry]

We were trout fishing on the White River in northern Arkansas last week. There were about 14 around our picnic table for the evening meal. We gathered in a circle and caught hands together to have the blessing. After I had said Amen, I began to sing and the others joined in "God Bless America". When we had finished, we were amazed at how many people came running from surrounding campsites to thank us for our singing! God Bless America, land that I love! If I cannot continue to sing... ... . just shoot me now. I won't have long to sleep!

 

[Crash_AF]

Originally posted by Barry

When we had finished, we were amazed at how many people came running from surrounding campsites to thank us for our singing! God Bless America, land that I love!

That's so cool Barry! I had a similar experience this afternoon when I went to Sam's Club to get some stuff for my upcoming trip. I was in uniform and walking back to my truck after putting the buggy into the corral when a woman loading stuff into the back of her van stopped and said "Thank you for all you do. " I thanked her and walked the rest of the way back to my truck with a big ol' warm fuzzy.



Thanks everyone for your support,

Joe

 

[nps]

Originally posted by Barry

If I cannot continue to sing... ... . just shoot me now. I won't have long to sleep!

Barry - why shoot you? #5 only requires a voter registration card to sing.



While I understand that this is mainly intended as a joke, there is some merit behind the points.



Disclaimer in advance of anticipated flames: I AM NOT ADVOCATING THESE POINTS BE PUT INTO LAW. I simply wanted to get some more flags and can't find them anywhere.



Crash_AF - hope you keep getting warm and fuzzys - may want to put a few into the bank so you can withdrawl them later.



Neil