The Real Rules of the Road, or How to Drive Like a Genuine Idiot

[Scot]

Do not pay attention to those green signs that say Blah Rd 1 mile. Just cruise down the road oblivious to everything. Come to shortly after passing the exit, cut over 3 lanes and then back up the entrance ramp. All those people that are honking are telling you are #1! This is common practice in Houston.



You are cruising down the road and all the sudden your ricer quits because you did not bother to put more than 47 cents worth of gas in it yesterday cause cigarettes are getting so expensive these days. Let it roll just over the crest of the over pass and let it come to a halt. It gets so hard to steer when it quits you will not be able to move out of the center lane of the freeway. Then watch the fun as other drivers crash or load their pants trying to avoid your car as you sit there and crank it till the battery dies, along with the evening light.

 

[datablitz]

kinda a pet peeve, i remembered from rbattelle's post:



if you are a runner, or a biker, ignore the fact that there is a bike trail/sidewalk 10 feet from the road and ride your bike and jog on the road and block traffic, because you are too good for the paths that the tax payers paid to have installed.

 

[Texas Diesel]

Originally posted by datablitz

kinda a pet peeve, i remembered from rbattelle's post:



if you are a runner, or a biker, ignore the fact that there is a bike trail/sidewalk 10 feet from the road and ride your bike and jog on the road and block traffic, because you are too good for the paths that the tax payers paid to have installed.

Dont forget to scream and moan that you have the same RIGHTS as a car does and then blow through every stop sign and stop light after driving BETWEEN cars lined up at the red light. These idiots do that constantly around here. One got got creamed (dead) last summer doing that.

 

[QRTRHRS]

Don't even think about moving as far towards the left as you can on a wide open straight street with a 25mph speed limit as your doing 50mph in the slop. After all, the poor smuck trying to drop a set of pups is already hogged up from six inches of slop clinging to his trailers.



Forget slowing to a stop for a glimpse at the carnage on the other side of the medial strip that was caused by some other dipstick driver. You will see more on prime time TV. Besides, if you were up close and personnal you would just puke your guts out anyway.



When I blow my horn, it's not because I want to see you flip me the bird. It is because I am warning you that if you do pull out in front of me, there is a good chance that I may not be able to stop. Just imagine how much fun your significant other is going to have spending that big insurance payoff while toasting your sorry butt goodbye. Ah, it's just as well, a step parent will probably do a better job raising your kids.

 

[midlife crisis]

You forgot to remind the bicyclists & joggers that everyone appreciates when they dont ride or run single file. Its clearly in everyones best interest to have to stop and wait for oncoming traffic to pass, or play chicken to get room to go by. Safety in numbers, right?- 3,4 wide, please take up the whole traffic lane. Its only sensible they have so much faith in the operator in the 4000+# vehicle.

 

[Casey Ray]

When driving in rush hour on a 4 lane road, never ever pass that bus plowing along in the slow lane. Stay slighly behind and to his right in the fast lane. Also, slow down when the bus slows to pull over to the curb for passengers.



Don't worry about talking on the cell phone and using your hands to emphasis what you are talking about, we can see your hands clear as a bell, so it must be our fault if we have an accident, we knew who wasn't driving their car.



Women+cell phone+applying makeup= nice leisurely cruise to work.

 

[StakeMan]

When there is 3 feet of snow on the road, please try to drive to work in your ricer. All season tires give you so much traction.



If you have blue hair and are to short to see over the dash, please drive 35 mph in the left lane. I have nothing better to do.

 

[d906670]

and be a self appointed safety police if some one is going to fast for the lite rain or snow pull over in front of them and hit your brakes to show the their error of the ways for driving to fast

 

[MarkF]

Its absolutely necessary to pull out in front of a 2500 QC with 8' bed loaded with 550# of sand and an 8'plow on the front. In fact pull out so close that the pick up driver has to lock em up to avoid buying your car. Happened Last Two Days!!!!

 

[Rob Thomas]

Originally posted by BNH4221



When did people get so selfish?



Steve

Good question.







The trouble is, people just don't care. They are in they're own little world while driving... ... . between fighting with they're kids, eating, huntin for a CD, yappin on the horn, rollin a joint, or whatever else they can do while they're car is in route to they're destination... ... ... . they are simply a passenger, with driving the last possible thing on they're mind.



We have an intersection here that EVERY time, the first car at the light (WITHOUT a left turn signal on, and a pile of vehicles behind them) as soon as the light turns green, they suddenly realize they are turning left.



The only time they go straight, is when I pull up next to them (in anticipation of they're left turn), and then WHAM! off to the races they go, because there is no way in hell they are going to be behind a truck... ..... so they think, .





I've often thought about becoming a driving instructor, but I'm sure I wouldn't last long, since I highly doubt anyone would pass... ..... and the students would be deaf, from all my screaming, LOL.



The funny thing is... ... . I never seem to meet anyone who is a bad driver, they all think everyone else is the moron. I sure wish technology would allow my CB to be received by the stereo speakers of the vehicles around me.



Rob

 

[skobylenski]

Originally posted by Rob Thomas

I sure wish technology would allow my CB to be received by the stereo speakers of the vehicles around me.



Rob

You can - it's called a radio with a PA Speaker jack and a BIG bull horn mounted under the hood Just turn up your mic volume all the way and people will hear you from quite a good distance away. Not that I know or anything



Scott