"The Talk" You Know..... THE talk

[ToolManTimTaylor]

O. K The Birds and the Bees. Who was the whackjob that came up with that one? I can see The Bees ' 'n the flowers But Birds? How do they fit into the whole picture? Heck I had to figure it all out as my parents split up right at the time of when I coulda used some giudance (Figured it out thru a dirty someone left in the woods by my house then) ..... No really it was filthy but I dried it out and brushed off the mud and figured it out from there.



Now that I think of it this Whole Birds and the bees thing prolly woulda screwd me up more. So here I am a dad now of 9 yeras (ALLmost 10) and I FEAR the B&B talk. Hmm Do I let the wifey do it as she is good with kids and how it is and such or the ex will just completely freak her out and we will have to fix it.



So anyways ... . Birds?

 

[Rman]

??? birds have to procreate too?

 

[lmills]

woodpeckers? :-laf

 

[Turbo Tim 1]

Be careful of splinters!!!!!

 

[BIGDIG]

Just bring him to a TDR meet,We''ll fix him up... ..... Oo. Oo.

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

Uhhh BD ... . he is a she. I am fitting her with a bubble next week.





Do a search on a thread by piers. "So you want to date my daughter" It is one of the best reads i can think of!

 

[lmills]

In that case, you better let the wife handle it.

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

WHEW!

 

[csevers]

If she watches M TV she already probably knows more than you might think with all the skin showing and all the good lyrics they have in the songs it explains a lot. Maybe if you start the "B&B" talk she will say ya ya I know all about it:--) . Good Luck man













Craig

 

[Bill Lins]

Soooo, did your wife explain it all to ya?

 

[JSmith]

Tim, I have a 13yr old girl. Watch it or the schools will do what you should do. I pulled my daughter from school when the daily topic was human sexuallity, this was for 5th graders. BULL$QUAT!!! This not the schools responsibility. I said I would do it. A six-pack later, I looked into the eyes of the wife and she said don`t worry when the time comes I will talk to her

Have the wife do it. I will talk to my son.



My dad gave me a talk`n to.



Hey,

Yea dad?

Don`t go out there and get no damned girl pregnant!

hUH DAD?

You heard me! I said don`t get no damned girl pregnant!

Who me?

Boy, don`t come round here with no baby, do you hear me.

Yes Dad.



I got the big talk 5 or 6 times. First kid was born when I was 33yrs old. Second when I was 37yrs old. My old man missed it.

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

Originally posted by Dl5treez

I was gonna say do what my dad did with me:



Dad--"Son, we need to talk. "

Me---"I didn't do it. "

LOL!!!

 

[98rammer]

let the mom do it...



man, i was 13... . and boy did i hate that (besides i knew just about everything anyways). my best friend never got it cause his dad asked if he wanted the talk or not. things aren't like they used to be...



Tom

 

[jmeehan]

I got the talk from my dad, my younger brother didn't. Dad caught my brother on the couch at my folks house with my dads bosses daughter. I never got caught. 'Course I wasn't gettin' any either :{

Hmm. . I got the talk and I don't have any kids, my brother didn't get the talk and his wifes pregnant with their second kid.

So you get more if you don't get the talk?

TTMT I'd say someone better talk to your daughter. My ex says her dad used to show her dates his 45 Long Colt when he met them. There's a thought.

 

[ToolManTimTaylor]

Originally posted by 85CJ

Dad caught my brother on the couch at my folks house with my dads bosses daughter.



My ex says her dad used to show her dates his 45 Long Colt

Ohhh That could be a career limiting move.



Hmmm so can a Glock45 , Or even a sKs.

 

[BreaksEverything]

A Father & Son on an outing



One morning a boy got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of chicken wire. His father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch me some chickens. ' The father said, 'Son, you can't catch chickens with chicken wire. ' But the son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day, the son came home with two chickens in his hand. The father thought, 'I guess he knows what he's doing. ' The next morning, the son got up and was leaving the house with some duck tape. The father said, 'Son, where are you going?' The son replied, 'I'm going to catch some ducks. ' The father yelled, 'You can't catch ducks with duck tape!' The son insisted that he knew what he was doing. Later on that day the son came home with two ducks under each arm. The father thought, 'Shoot, I guess he does know what he's doing!!' The next morning the son got up and was leaving the house with a hand full of *****willows. The father said, 'Hold up, son, let me put on my shoes!'