The world's most ignorant question

[Bill Lins]

Originally posted by BFC

As a skydiving instuctor I get asked this almost every week.



"Have you ever landed WITHOUT an open parachute?"



Glenn

It WOULD explain a few things.

 

[BFC]

It WOULD explain a few things.

ahhhh come on Bill I show up to one breakfast and that's what I get... ... ... ... ... ... wait 'till you REALLY get to know me, it get's worst!



Glenn

BFC, Well have ya

Not yet! But the weekend ain't over!

 

[rrausch]

I was in line at the Supermarket in a few years ago and I was reading a Time magazine which had a picture of Billy Boy Clinton on the front. This was during the Monica Lewinsky Cigar scandal. There was an old lady standing in line behind me. The old broad behind me saw the cover of Time and started whining, "I don't care what he did... he's the best President we ever had!"

I lowered my magazine and said, "Lady, do you have any daughters?"

She ignored me and went on, "I don't care who he slept with, he's the best Prsiodent we ever had!"

I said, "Well introduce him to your daughters if you think he's so great. "

She started getting red in the face, and started shouting, "He's done more for old people than you can imagine. "

I said, "Well introduce ME to your daughter then!"

She said, "The trouble with YOU is you hate old people!"

By that time the Market Manager had opened another check-out line and was saying, "SIR... SIR... COME OVER HERE AND I'LL HELP YOU!"

At least I found a way to shorten the supermarket line!

 

[NVR FNSH]

rrausch - we're all sleeping (not the verb used when my 60 YO co-worker said this) with somebody's daughter. I'm not even going to touch the other possibility... ... .



Brian

 

[Papa Joe]

Back in the seventies (before computer drafting), a couple hired me to plat their 20 acres into a 60-lot subdivision. The two of them had changed the layout three times, and the wife had changed the subdivision name the the street names at least a half dozen more times. They came in for ANOTHER revision to the street names, so I took them to my drafting table.



She picked up an electric eraser and asked, "What's this?" I said, "It's an electric eraser. "



She asked me, "Do you really make that many mistakes?" I quickly erased the street names and said "Yes actually, I do. What are the new names this time?"Oo.

 

[Motorhead]

I work at UPS and the most asked question I got when I delivered to homes was... "What's in the box?" I replied... "If I had X-ray eyes, Do you think that I would be doing this job?" The other was when I worked at the customer counter and people not wanting to pay the extra fee for 2 day air service to Hawaii would ask ... "Don't you have ground service?" DUH!!

 

[Redneck Toadstomper]

Remember the tractor cades in the mid 70's? They were used to try and bring attention to the public of the farmers struggle to be delt with fairly concerning prices and farm policy. We set up displays in grocery stores along the way to Washinton D. C. in an attempt to educate folks that without farmers, eating could become a real problem for lots of folks. In a Chicago grocery store a woman walked up to me and asked - Do you think I give a damn about you farmers? I buy my food at the grocery store! And you country people can go straight to hell!!! I asked her where she thought grocery stores got their food? She replied that it was made in factories except for eggs and they were imported from Alabama. You just CAN NOT fix or help STUPID!!!!!!!!

 

[wcaldwell]

I think my favorite stupid question is "Can I ask you a stupid question?" I usually use one of three replies:



1. "Again???"



2. "You just did!"



3. "Better than anyone I know. " (I can't use this one very often)



Wayne

 

[milehiscott]

Wayne,

On the up side, at least there are polite stupid people. I always appreciate fair warning to stupidity. It hurts me less.

Scott

 

[milehiscott]

One of my all time favorites.

I used to live in the mountains near a ski resort called Keystone. The main lodge is at 10,000' above sea level. Behind the main lodge there is a small lake (big pond). In the winter, when it freezes they make it the ice skating rink. They even set up boards for hocky.

One day a lady had this conversation with the front desk clerk in the lodge. This really happened! And no, I won't mention that she was from Texas.



Lady: What do ya'll do with the pond water when it's an ice skatin' ring?

Clerk: Send it to Denver to be cleaned.

Lady: Really?! When do ya'll get it back?

Clerk: May.

:--) :--) :--) :--) :--) :--)

 

[me4osu]

Hocky????

Originally posted by milehiscott

They even set up boards for hocky.

Sounds, to me, like the world's stupidest ANSWER.



What kind of hocky? Horse-hocky? Bull-hocky? What type of sport is played with the hocky?



Honestly, for a state which derives a large portion of its income from tourism (ie. people visiting from OTHER states), people in Colorado could be a little less snooty. I'm sure you get some real winners visiting your state from all over, not just Texas. Why do people in your state harbor such animosity toward people from Texas??



I am not a native of Texas, but Oklahoma. Are there the same ill feelings in Colorado toward people from Oklahoma? How are we stereotyped in Colorado? As ignorant bumpkins perhaps?



"Y'all" are welcome to come on down to the Gulf Coast. I'm certain that, because you don't live here, you would ask some silly questions yourself. We'll try not to mock or sterotype you, just show you how hospitable we are.



We all own trucks with Cummins engines in them. Lets try to enjoy discussing them and not pick on people merely because they don't happen to be from our version of a perfect place to live.



Yes I make fun of Texas sometimes, but it is in good cheer. Also, I have lived here for 13 years, make my living here, married a Texas girl, raise my kids here and plan to retire here. So, I really think it is quite a nice place, and the people are nice too.



Relax and have fun.

 

[illflem]

me4osu, it isn't just Texans they're rude to, I had the same observation. Think it's because a large part of the Colorado population are California transplants...

 

[DHRA]

Originally posted by illflem

me4osu, it isn't just Texans they're rude to, I had the same observation. Think it's because a large part of the Colorado population are California transplants...

BINGO!

 

[nascar]

Hey _________, are you asleep?

 

[Rob Thomas]

I had someone ask me a good question on the way back from Tulsa last weekend, see I have dump bed on my truck and the only way to put fuel in it is to raise the bed a bit, so anyhow I just got done fuelin' ,left the bed up and went in ta pay fer it, I get to the counter and the dude says "do you have a hydrolic lift on your truck", well of course I had to play along I said, "what do you mean"and then looked out at my truck and said "what the heck happend to my bed!":-laf :-laf :-laf He didn';t seen to think I was all that funny



Later, Rob

 

[Stranger]

There I was...

Took the cans to the recycle place, left the truck running and the "Doood" asked me, "Hey, is that a diesel?"



I gave him the best look I could muster and said, "What?. Oh that, naw it's only a straight six and has a couple of bad rods, plus the choke's stuck and runs real rich, that's why it smokes. " :--)

 

[illflem]

Getting in my truck to pull away in Southern California when a passerby notices my block heater cord hanging out of the bumper and asks, "How do you like that electric powered truck?" My reply as I start it up, "Just fine but these electric motors sure are noisy. "

 

[bighammer]

I had some bonehead ask if mine was a diesel, I said "No it's just a couple quarts low on oil" and jumped in and left.