Things my mother taught me

[BILLVO]

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning. "



2. My mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet. "



3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"



4. My mother taught me LOGIC

" Because I said so, that's why. "



5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me. "



6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident. "



7. My mother taught me IRONY .

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about. "



8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper. "



9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"



10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone. "



11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it. "



12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"



13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. "



14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"



15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do. "



16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

"Just wait until we get home. "



17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING

"You are going to get it when you get home!"



18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way. "



19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"



20. My mother taught me HUMOR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me"



21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up. "



22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father. "



23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"



24. My mother taught me about WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand. "



And my favorite:



25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you

 

[Philip]

I have heard everyone of those growing up also. LOL

 

[fkovalski]

LOL!!! Thanks for the laugh... (cut n' pasting now to send out)

 

[HOBrian]

#25 :-laf I tell my wife she is in for a wild ride!!!!

 

[TSuter]

I consider #25 more of a curse. My mother told me that many times when I was getting in trouble. Now I have three kids that are just like I was, and my parents just laugh when I tell them of the kids latest exploits!



Tom

 

[HEMI®Dart]

Did your mother teach you to address neighbors "Mr or Mrs"? Mine did. I still do it to this day to folks that are older than I am.



Did you mother ever say while taking to a friend "I just don't know what's wrong with these kids today"

 

[TSuter]

Bill,

You bet she did! And I make sure my kids do too! Along with please, thank you, and holding the door for people! Proper courtesy goes a long way in life. There are certain neighborhood kids who are not allowed in our house because they don't know how to act.



Not only did I hear most of these growing up, I've said some of them on my kids!



Tom

 

[hotram03]

Now that was good, :-laf, unfortunately I had heard many of those myself. LOL

 

[ACoyle]

Nor only Mr. & Mrs, but, people that I did not know were addressed as Sir or Mam. Dors were held for ladies. I do all of this to this day. A young lady told me that calling her mam made her feel ofd. I told her that iMam is a title of respect for a lady. More of this and we would all be better off.

 

[dpuckett]

I heard all of them growing up- in the 80s and 90s!!! . Same for most of the people I rodeoed with. I still call people MR and MRS; hold doors for people; call them ma'am, etc, etc. I also try not to make too much noise after a reasonable hour for the sake of the neighbors, or go hotrodding down a residential street. I have maintained for 20 years that curtesy will get you much farther than rudeness, and I will pass that on to my children, God help them and the world if I do.



I still wonder what's wrong with kids, today, but most of the time the answer is the parents. I was holding a large, akward piece of furniture while moving it 2 blocks in the back of my g/f's pickup, and some little black kid yelled at me "Whatchu lookin' at, ugly?" I wanted to tell him to take a long look in the mirror before he called anyone ugly, but I would have just been yeling with him, so I just laughed at the (illegitimate child- think about it) and went on.

 

[DJW]

BILLVO it was so realistic I could 'SEE' it all in my mind, a Great and Real Honest piece