Thoughts for today...

[JohnMcIntyre]

The Doc's been a bit quite recently, must need more "inspiration" - this is my contribution... . with apologies to Mary Poppins. .



Black & Decker invented a drill especially for astronauts to take to the moon as prior attempts spun the astronauts around rather than the drill bit



An aircraft carrier gets about 6 inches per gallon of fuel.



If the swiss alps mountain range were just 20 feet lower, then the national airline Swissair, would save US$30,000 on fuel costs each week due to a lower approach into Zurich airport.



The world land speed record for a travel trailer is 167mph. It was being towed by a Dodge Viper.



Why do aliens always abduct stupid people?



Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wan't on a hunger strike he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He was renowned as a spiritual person and due to his diet, he unfortunatley ended up very bad breath. He thus became known as a super-caloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.



JMc

 

[Okie-Go]

My feelings and well being are in the hands of any fool that can make me angry.

 

[JohnMcIntyre]

Attitude or reality bypass?

Originally posted by Okie-Go

My feelings and well being are in the hands of any fool that can make me angry.

Not too sure about the ambiguous nature of your one-liner? I was merely trying to raise the bar somewhat, and in a light-hearted, well meaning manner to boot. Perhaps you'd care to qualify your response?



JMc

 

[Fireman]

Aliens don't always get tha dum ones

Jus tha other nite me an Bubba an Jim Bob wuz setting out back o tha double wide jus havin a few beers wen all uf a suden dis big ol space ship come don an suked po o Bubba up. Now i tel ya dat Bubba wuz a lots smarter than me or Jim Bob. They alwas gets tha good ones!



Fireman

 

[illflem]

John, I didn't think Okie's quote was directed at you at all, it was just a quote. Then again maybe Okie is a ultra-dedicated Mary Poppins fan whom you angered

 

[JohnMcIntyre]

Re: Aliens don't always get tha dumb ones...

Fireman - that's more like it... anyone else care to raise the bar?



illflem, if Okie is an ultra-dedicated Mary Poppins fan, who I unintentionally may have offended, here's a different selection... .



The Boeing 747 Jumbo's wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers first flight.



Socialism is where the poverty is shared out evenly.



Bar coding is a scan.



The grave of Karl Marx is just another Communist plot .



The catalytic converter on the new Porsche 911 is so powerful that if driven in LA the exhaust fumes are cleaner than the polluted air taken in.



Who is the only person to legally travel through a red stoplight/signal? Apparently a postman delivering a declaration of war.



JMc

 

[Doc Tinker]

OK John, here's my contribution



A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.



A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide nothing can be done.



A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.



A crisis is where you can't say: "let's forget the whole thing".



After all is said and done, more is said than done.



A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.



And one that I really like:

A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.



Doc

 

[Steve Campbell]

An expansion on one of John McIntyre's. The inherent "vice" of Capitalism is; the unequal sharing of plenty. The inherent "virtue" of Communism/Socialism is; the equal sharing of poverty.

 

[Barry]

Why is the picture on a box of Lean Cusine larger than the portion inside?????????

 

[Okie-Go]

I been out of town camping. Hey guys, no-one made me mad or angry. It is a quote from a teaching workshop I took last summer for teachers. It simply means if you let some-one make you mad or angry(student) they can just flat ruin your day. Same way with back-talk. I don't argue with student's(7th grade) I just tell them how it is and say end of conservation. If the teacher is working harder than the kids the teacher is doing something wrong. Hope this help's. I ain't mad at yall or anybody else.