Unknown quotes

[illflem]

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.



Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.



I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.



Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.



If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it, so sue me. "

 

[DennyDay]

Quotes

Ya' I know I should quit smokin' Cigaretts killed my grandfather, - - - - -he was 97. Died peacefully in his sleep, driving to the store to get a new carton.

Denny

 

[klenger]

Here's a few from my website.



http://www.danburypark.org/klenger/humor/one_liners.html

 

[illflem]

One I forgot that applies to this site;



"FEW BATTERIES DIE A NATURAL DEATH... MOST ARE MURDERED"

----Unknown Industry Representative

 

[joesoot]

... . and now deep thoughts by illflem

 

[rich m]

in that case.....

Originally posted by joesoot

... . and now deep thoughts by illflem

lemme go get the shovel and the hip-boots!

 

[lgibson]

Beat it to fit, Paint it to match. ( from the 5 star dealers handbook given to their mechanics)

 

[klenger]

lgibson



The way I heard it is "measure with a micrometer, mark it with chauk, cut it with an axe, beat to fit, caulk to fill, paint to match. "