When do you know that you are an "old fart"?

[emarsh]

Can somebody share their personal experiance on situations when it becomes apparent that you have joined the Old Fart club.



I think I have been inducted but want feedback from others.

 

[Jeff H]

Well I'm not old. But will be headed for 28 this month. My geuss is when you think you an old fart. You can't control the farts any more. Them farts control you now.

 

[gitchesum]

When you look like this.

Sorry Bill, just HAAAAD to do it. You understand don't ya?

 

[Andy Perreault]

When you have more hair growing on your chest than on top of your head?

 

[RHamner]

OLD FART!

I get medicare in May, but I don't have any idea!

 

[emarsh]

I got hair on top of my head, some; but it's all white now. This is not a riddle, you (previous posters) are all far too young. Also, I want to draw a distintion (sorry spelling) between an old fart and a old codger. Old fart is not meant to be (at least by me if I am willing to include myself!) a bad thing. Codger, I'm pretty sure that is not good.

I figured I was "middle" aged when I was 40, and I don't see how i could be "young" at 55? Do you see what I mean?

 

[Boldt's Wagon]

When the young ladies and wippersnappers start calling you "Sir".

 

[Papa Joe]

Boldt's Wagon beat me to it.



Stage 1. When you get carded for your ID and it surprises you.



Stage 2. When it seems everyone calls you 'sir'.



Stage 3. When your'e handed the senior citizen menu, price schedule, or discount.

 

[TRodney]

When you are driving slower than everyone else on the road, and it does NOT seem to bother you!!!

 

[klenger]

When they ask if you have an AARP card when renting a car. I think that was about 5 years after the last time I was carded when ordering drinks.



#ad

 

[me4osu]

Here's some

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.

Your back goes out more often than you do.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You buy a compass for the dash of your car/truck.

You're proud of your lawn mower.

Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.

Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.

You sing along with the elevator music.

You would rather go to work than stay home sick.

You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

People call at 9:00 p. m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"

You answer a question with, "Because I said so. "

You send money to PBS.

The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.

You take a metal detector to the beach.

You know what the word "equity" means.

You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

Your ears are hairier than your head.

You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.

You get into a heated argument about pension plans.

You got cable for The Weather Channel.

You can go bowling without drinking.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You find yourself smiling at this list.

 

[merryman]

A few years ago at a stop light, I noticed a very nice '50s era pick up pull up on my right. On the drivers door was neatly lettered "Old Fart", and it was being driven by one.



P. S. , at 67 years old, I am sure that I qualify for the club, but I prefer "Old Geezer",



Vaughn

 

[drawson]

Here you go test your self

HOW OLD IS THIS GUY?



One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.

The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at

schools, the computer age, and just things in general.



The grandfather replied, "Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before

television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses,

Frisbees, and the pill. "



"There was no radar, no credit cards, laser beams, or ball-point pens. Man

had not invented pantyhose, air conditioners, dishwashers, or clothes

dryers, the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet

walked on the moon. Your grandmother and I got married first and then lived

together. Every family had a father and a mother. "



"Until I was 25, I called every man older than I, 'Sir' and after I turned

25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, 'Sir'. We were

before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group

therapy. Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment,

and common sense. We were taught to know the difference between right and

wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions. "



"Serving our country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger

privilege. We thought "fast food" was what people ate during Lent. "



"Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening

breeze started. 'Time-sharing' meant time the family spent together in the

evenings and weekends - - not purchasing condominiums. "



"We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt,

or guys wearing earrings. We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Beny, and the

President's speeches on our radios. And I don't ever remember any kid

blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. "



"If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk. "



"The term 'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam. Pizza

Hut, McDonald's and instant coffee were unheard of. We had 5 and 10 cent

stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents. Ice cream

cones, phone calls, rides on a street car, and a Pepsi were all a nickel.

And if you didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough

stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards. "



"You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600 but who could afford one? Too

bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. In my day, 'grass' was mowed,

'coke' was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in, and 'rock

music' was your grandmother's lullaby. 'Aids' were helpers in the

Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was found in a

hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word. "



"And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed a

husband to have a baby. No wonder people call us 'old and confused' and say

there is a generation gap... how old do you think I am"??























This man would only be 58 years old.

 

[Bill Lins]

How 'bout when an ALLEGED "friend" posts your picture on this thread???

OK, Gitchesum- I'll "gitch" you for that!

 

[klenger]

... when you have one of these on your truck.



#ad

 

[Briar Hopper]

When the Viagra no longer works... when you eat and get crumbs or mayonnaise on your cheeks and don't realize it for hours, when you do all your Christmas shopping on the Home Shopping Channel on TV, when you sit in the left lane of the interstate, going 40 miles an hour with your left turn signal blinking, when the two funeral homes in town start sending you birthday cards, when you're married to a woman that gets makeup all over her eyeglasses and doesn't realize it, and you don't bother to tell her (didn't tell her about the mayonnaise on HER face either), when you buy one of those "hearing assistive devices" that are cleverly disguised as a personal radio/tape player, when you catch yourself thinking there's some hope yet for "Chappaquidick Ted" , when the mailman delivers your AARP Modern Maturity magazine even though the mailing label is missing... . well, that's when you know... . you're in geezerdom!