Who has the craziest neighbor?

[tractorface]

I'll start.

We have had some trouble with our loser neighbors dogs barking for some time now. She came over to apologize for her dogs barking, she says that when we built our house we dug up Ghosts and that they have been tormenting her ever since. She can describe them and knows the family history of them It seems the dogs see them too (guess they are smokin the same siht) The reason they were barking last night is that the ghosts were in my backyard last night partying Anyway she is angry with us for digging up these ghosts and just as soon as she marries the guy she has been seeing for the last three weeks they are moving. Oo.



Guess I need to get out the old ghost costume and go digging in the backyard this evening. Boy this is gonna be fun



Anyway I had to share this with someone.



BTW, I live in a nice area with fairly expensive homes, seems crazy people are everywhere.

 

[Headshot zod]

I have a neighbor that vacuums her lawn. She is more meticulous about her lawn it frightens me. I wish I had ghosts..... I would make them drop random candywrappers around.



yes I own a leafblower to help the situation..... and I use it all winter too..... hehehehe

 

[klenger]

From another thread on the TDR labeled "Women",... women are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

 

[SRadke]

You're headed in a diffret direct of "crazy" than I expected but here's mine:



My neighbor come over one day bleding from the head and asks if he can borrow the shop hoist to lift the flatbed off his S-10. Seems he tried it with his willow tree and a come-along but all he got was the tree on his head :-laf



-Scott

 

[mjendrejcak]

Shortly after my wife and I moved into our house, my neighbor would take pictures of us from his bay window anytime we were near the property line. Oh... . the line has a 3 foot high stockade fence.



The first time he did this, I asked him WTF. he said he was testing the camera and did not see us. Told him do not test the camera around my wife.



Second time called cops - useless.



Thrid time he walked right up to the fence were we were working. I grabbed the camera strap around his neck and nailed them to the fence, then went into my house.



The weekend after the fun with photography, he was patching his roof. I pulled out a couple of lawn chairs, had some frineds over one with a telephoto lens and watched him run into the house pretty quick.





No more problems.

 

[Headshot zod]

hahahahaha

 

[NPloysa]

We used to have a neighbor (in Conifer) that had land and a cheesy log cabin built on it by his grandfather. Once his grandfather passed he got ahold of it, modified it by making a front porch out of a steel trailer frame, would BURY his trash, had friends over drinking, doing drugs, etc, cutting firewood at 2 am!!!!!, barking dogs, all with a stupid floodlight we could see from our house through the trees.



One day his dog (50 pound mutt) and my family's Bichon Frise (poodle-like, 20 pounds)) dog were playing, his dog got rough (possible jealousy involving our older male dog) and tore the Bichon all up. Didn't know how. Second time I saw it happen. We had to put her down due to the intestinal wounds. He was sorry and said he would take care of his dog, guess he did, never saw that dog again.



Well, finally, the bank took his property and his "cabin" because he didn't think he had to pay property taxes. He skipped town and the neighbor on the other side of him bought the couple acres and the pond, and the so called cabin.



I helped him clean it up and man, what did we find!? Tons of crap, hypodermic needles, buried trash, and a dead dog in a pillowcase in a cardboard box up by his storage shed. Sick. Glad he is gone!



I remember one night my dad called the sheriff on another instance about a suspicious car pulling into our driveway and shining the lights in the house for 5 minutes, then leaving, not knowing if he had anything to do with it or not.



Anyway, sheriff comes and I remember my dad askin half joking, "I could just shoot him and save you the trouble. "



Sheriff gives him a weird look and says, "Only if we don't find the body. "



And as for the political debate about guns. That neighbor is one reason why I am glad we have guns in the house!

 

[The patriot]

Maybe I'm the crazy neighbor

Ever since I moved here the neighbor would drive by very slow, and stare at the house.

Seems like weather or not we were home he would do this.

I've tried to get him at home, but either he wasnt there, or didnt answer the door.

We were having a perticularly active week with the "slow driveby staring dood" when my neice was over this one week.

My wife, neice, and I was in the living room, with the wife and neice facing the front picture window. They saw his car coming and told me, "here he comes".

I told the neice to "turn around and hold here eyes. "

I jumped up on the couch with my back to the front picture window and mooned him.

From that day on, he would drive by, but WOULD NOT LOOK AT THE HOUSE!!!

Eric

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

Well, which one do you want the one about the hooker upstairs or the devil possessed guy next door?



Okay, well do the hooker first because its getting late and I have to go get packed up so I can head for Reno tomorrow to pick up my Cooper ST winter tires and wheels from off the classifieds The poor devil possessed dude will have to wait until I get back.



Many years ago in another lifetime we had this hooker who lived upstairs from us in the apartment building named Pumpkin. (No she wasn't round, or orange, and was actually not bad looking - but who was noticing).



One night we get a knock on the door in the middle of the night. So thinking it is one of my pathetic friends wandering around after closing time I get out of bed and answer the door buck naked. There is a big feller at the door who definately wasn't one of my friends, being I have much better taste in who I associate with, of course.



This gentlemen of the baser sort gives me a "who the blank are you" look and asks "Is Pumpkin here". I replied "No, Pumpkin lives upstairs in Number 2". He glances at the door and gives me a strange look. So I glance at the door and, voile!, its number 2 - gulp.



Parenthetically, we always used the backdoor which did not have a number. Besides, this really was my girlfriends place since I was working in the Bob in the summer and shacking up with her in the winter. Like I said it was a former lifetime when I too was snared by my sinful ways - but I have since repented and made it right. Unfortunately, that wasn't until after two beautiful kids and a divorce and God took me by the ears and shook me to get my attention - live and learn, neh? But I digress.



Oh yeah, gulp, stutter (and I feel my testicles drawing up tighter than a pooch heading for a vet visit). "Well, it must be number 3" I offered. "Besides I don't think she is home" So then he wants to know where she went. "Hon do you know where Pumpkin went" I queried. My girlfriend answers from the bedroom that she thinks Pumpkin went to Butte. Fortunately, for me, when said dude hears my gf's voice he realizes it aint Pumpkin I'm consorting with and decides to leave. I sigh deeply and my testicles return to normal - whew!



PS: During this episode my faithful Doberman is snoozing away in the bedroom like I don't need him to put in an appearance for once in his flea bitten life. And my 06 is safely tucked away in the bedroom closet.



Oh yeah, I just remembered the freaking crazy Venetian guy we picked up hitch hiking and gave a place to stay for the night miles up a dirt road in a log cabin with the nearest neighbors the next gulch over. Now that was plumb serious, and a very very stupid thing to do. Suffice it to say he wanted to live in our chicken coup and sometimes a flashlight being turned on can sound, to him, like a weapon being cocked - thank God.



Edit: Oops, that Venutian, not Ventian. Or it may have been Martian - anyway, not from here.

 

[The patriot]

drunk dude episodes

My first house wanst in the best of neighborhoods.

We had several knocks on the door @3am, but the sound of the 12 gauge slide racking behind the door before it opens usually sobers them up enough to talk to. :-laf

It was a cop one morning. I dont think he was awake enough to hear or notice the distinctive sound. Turned out he was at the wrong address.

Eric Oo.

 

[ndurbin]

I've had a few weird neighbors. First was when I moved to college, I was sharing an duplex apartment with acouple of my friends and as we're unloading the trailer this kid that lives next door. He's wearing the wannabe gangsta stuff, anyway he started to help us unload and then he said he'd be right back he needs to change. About 10 min later he comes back out wearing wranglers, startched shirt and cowboy boots. My roommates and I just kinda looked at each other and thought ok. After we got done we were outside talking and he starts talking about how he has this dodge ram with tractor tires on it and uses it to plow snow in the winter for the county and he makes like 30,000 bucks doing it. We find out he's 20 something living with his grandma and is still in high school.



Well my 2nd year of college roles around and I move into an apartment w/ my fiance. Which wasn't to bad sense one of my buddies lived across the hall. But we had one guy upstairs that liked to play his guitar and sing cowboy songs at 2 in the morning.



Next we moved to Medicine Lodge. We have several interesting neighbors now. We live in a housing complex of sorts, 8 houses facing each other. Anyway the lady to oneside, hangs out with high school aged kids and does high school aged type stuff. The 2 families across and to right are just about as weird. The closer house they go inside in a hurry when we come outside. The farther house (which they've moved now) had some kids and they'd always look at/take our mail and they ALWAYS wanted to come in our house to see how messy it was. They said their's was messy all the time since their mom never cleaned.



Nathan

 

[gitchesum]

Wierdest one so far was hte guy that lived across the street from me.



I always thought it was odd that he would be outside, laying on the ground, with a pair of scissors, evening out the grass near the sidewalk. That was until I talked to him, then that type of behavior didn't suprise me a much.



To say the dude was off is an understatement.



Apparently he had his own personal demons as he ate a bullet about a month ago.

 

[QRTRHRS]

Wierd? I suppose but maybe more colorful comes to mind. Living in a small town once, I was more or less surrounded but they did not bother me so I did not bother them.



Anyway, one house had two gay guys who rented an appartment to a stripper. Grandma in the house next to them happened to catch her six year old grandson watching out the window one day while the stripper entertained two guys at the same time. Couple of lesbians across the street next to the married couple with the wife's indian boyfriend. Husband was a boozer. Then there was Fred the music teacher/child molester. One house changed occupants so often it was hard to figure on that one. Started with a women coming in, restoring the house to use as a high quality lunchenette. She blew the business because she drank more of the sherry then she put in the food. Left town and rented without repairs until the house finally was to be condemed. Her attempt to burn it failed but gutted it. After twenty year, my wife suddenly dumped me and "crossed the street". Must have been the water.

 

[BarryG]

This goes back a while but ...



Was living in an apartment complex that was actually old airbase housing before they closed the base. It was an area that many Missing Link biker gang members lived in. At that time they lived up very well to the reputation that they had earned for themselves. Anyway I had an old chevy luv pickup (what a pos) that I was working on changing out the transmission in the driveway. I had just finished it, started it up to test drive it and couldnt get out of the parking lot because some of these biker guys were trying to push start an old van. They just couldnt push it fast enough to get it to go. I offered to push it with the truck. Got it going and they offered me some money for my trouble. I declined to take it as it was no big deal and was just being helpful and neighborly. They said cool and let it go after a bit. About a week later at 2am someone is pounding on the door. I am thinking what the heck and go to the door. I open it and those same guys are holding a bloodied up guy who had obviously been shall we say abused by these guys. They say that they caught him trying to steal the transmission out of the back of my truck (the one that I had just replaced and just hadnt gotten around to returning the core). They say what do you want us to do with him "we can make him disappear". I tell them that it looks like they got their point across to him and that that is probably enough. They say ok throw him down off the porch and walk away leaving him laying their at the foot of the steps. I closed the door and went back to bed. As I close the door the guy says thanks and sorry and started crawling off. I never had one bit of trouble with those guys after helping them with the van and they always waved when they saw me. Cant say the same for the other neighbors the bikers usually gave them a hard time.

 

[DaveN]

I used to live in a duplex with a couple of friends. The landlord lived in the other side. All in all he was pretty cool, but a grade A drunk. He'd put down a fifth in an hour in a half just to get ready to go to the bar "to get drunk". I'm not exaggerating. Anyways, sometimes we'd party and in the course of discussion one night he proceeded to tell us how he hadn't had his drivers license in ten years, and had his first hearing to get it back in about another ten. So he decided to buy a scooter to get himself back and forth to work, since the cops couldn't see who he was with his helmet on. He then proceeded to tell us how if we ever found him hurt, to just take him home and throw him on the couch no matter how bad he was, since the hospital would no longer treat him due to the unpaid bills he had there.



So one day we're driving home from the bar at 2:30 am, turn a corner and guess who's lying in the middle of the intersection? Yup. Looks like he hit some snow or gravel driving home drunk without a helmet with his scooter (it was winter about 20 degrees and snowing) and wiped it out in the intersection. He was bleeding for a while (he had about a half an inch of snow on him), but the bleeding had stopped and he was still breathing. So we threw him in the back of the truck (I think someone had already stolen his scooter) took him home kicked open the front door and threw him on the couch just like he asked us to.



Next day he came over and asked if we knew what happened, we told him, he bought us a case of beer and went and got another scooter..... I think he's dead now.

 

[DennyDay]

Screw Ball Neighbors

Had a neighbor a number of years ago, who had a young son with a mini-bike. It had a Briggs 1 cyl motor and made alot of noise. At the time I owned a loader back hoe and drove a K5 Blazer. It had a spare tire and gas can on the rear. I started a long term job about 30 miles away from home, and decided to put diesel fuel in the gas can during the week to keep the backhoe fueled.



About the 4th day, I lifted to can off the back and it seemed kinda' light, when I opened the top it was about a gallon short of the five gallons it held. Well it was late the night before, maybe it wasn't full and I didn't pay attention, but when I got home that night, I made shure the can was full. When I left for work early the next day I forgot to check the can. When I arrived at the job site, sure enough, the can was low. I looked around and didn't see any stain from a leak, so I put the fuel in the back hoe, and tried to figure out the next step. It wasn't much money, diesel was $0. 30 a gallon in those days, but the machine used 5 gallons a day, and I didn't want to take a second can with me because I would have to carry it in the Blazer.



Well long story - short when I got home that night the neighbor was waiting for me, screaming I had ruined his sons motor cycle, and I was gonna' pay for it! Seems the son had been stealng gas (diesel fuel too!)for some time from my gas can and I didn' notice.



Well I explained what he and his thieving kid could do to themselves and the motor cycle, and the sorry SOB sued me!



Go figure - - it got thrown out of small claims court, but it still cost me $1000. in atty. fees - - I decided to sue him for costs, but guess what - its called retaliation - an you can't do that.



Have a nice day! Oh bu the way the motorcycle wouldn't run on flat tires either. The were having a real run of bad luck keeping tires on it too.



Denny Oo.

 

[GIT-R-DONE]

When we lived in Ft. Worth, we had some neighbors that lived above us that would play the theme to "Romper Room" (Cranked on the stereo) every time they had sex. So, every time they had sex, we played on our stereo, (Cranked up ) some Judas Priest " Some heads are gonna roll". Ended up after the cops were called for the third time for disturbing the "piece" they finally moved out.

 

[Elite1]

I had a woman neighbor who lived about 4 doors down the street who (rumor had it)apparently got addicted to pain killers and very rarely came out of the house. I talked to her husband a few times and he seemed like a nice enough guy... anyway one day I'm at home upstairs in my office sitting at the desk which has a window overlooking the street. I look down and see this woman running in the street naked with a big long kitchen knife in her hand. She stops in the street in front of my house and is stabbing at the air, seemingly like she is fighting a non existent person. I go outside to see what is going on, and ask her what the problem is. She tells me that the Chinese are invading us and she has already killed about a dozen! She then asks me if I have any guns and we need all the help we can get... . in the mean time my wife is calling the police. I talked her into dropping the knife, she then layed on my front lawn and wept... still naked my wife wrapped a blanket around her... as she waited for her ride to the looney farm.

 

[The patriot]

Oh man... I'm cuttin back on the pain meds.

Eric

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

Okay with that I'll launch into the fellar next door with the demons.



When I was in Bozeman we had a Bible study in our home on Friday evenings which typically ran from six to a dozen folks. Now we are talking a serious One God, apostolic, tongue talking, holy rolling, born again, been liberated and set free, and dunked in the precious name of Jesus type of Bible study here.



Since my better half is originally from Korea, and is full of fearless evangelistic zeal, the group is often composed of folks who are attending the university and hail from Korea, China, Mongolia, Mexico, Thailand, Japan, and the US of A. Or whoever she met at the grocery store or gas station.



The 40s something neighbor gent would go into his garage which was closest to our home. He would go into a tirade of cursing, murderous threats, and gutteral utterances (Believe me he wasn't speaking in tongues :-laf ) Well, trying to figure out what Jesus would do - we prayed. My prayer was that either Jesus would save, deliver, or move him out. I wan't none to thrilled with having him as a neighbor especially since I was gone in the backcountry for extended periods during the summer time.



Of course my wife invites him over for a meal and Bible study. Man am I blessed! The Bible study doesn't 'take' and the side-show and prayers continue. One day we notice he hasn't been around much but his brother, who was nice, is around quite often. So we asked him what happen to his brother. Apparently, his brother ended up having to go home an live with his mother. Whew, adios.