Why? How? What?

[Doc Tinker]

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?



How do you get off a non-stop flight?



Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?



Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?



If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?



What does an atheist do when he drives up to a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker and that car doesn't move when the traffic light turns green?





Doc

 

[Bad340fish]

Ever Notice we Park on Driveways and Drive on Parkways?

Clark

 

[redneckdr]

etc

if you don't know where you're going, you'll end up somewhere else... ... credited to yogi berra

 

[Papa Joe]

Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing ??!

 

[tgbol]

Oh No! Now we are getting into George Carlin routines. I have to stop laughing and get back to work

 

[Bad340fish]

IS the Glass half Empty Or Half Full???



Its just twice as big as it needs to be

Clark

 

[LBrock]

when looking for something why do people say "it's always the last place you look"? Isn't EVERYTHING the last place you look, I mean why would you keep looking after you found it?

 

[rich m]

..plagiarized from somebody else's signature...

"if you don't care where you are, you're not really lost. "



or words to that effect... rm



for the ladies: If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

(I kinda resent that one, to be quite honest)

 

[Bad340fish]

Imagine the World without hypothectical(sp?) situations.



Credit the back of TDR issue #30 i think

Clark

 

[Jumbo Jet]

"Just think of all the things we haven't thought of yet!"

 

[redneckdr]

etc

it's deja vu allover again... ... ... again credit yogi berra

 

[BK]

Hey Doc,



That reminds me of a dirty joke... .....





Oh, I guess I wont make that mistake again



----Bob

 

[Archive]

When a freight hauler loads his trailer it's called a shipment. When the shipment is loaded on a ship it's called freight.

 

[RustyJC]

Why do they post "No Smoking" signs at service stations and then sell cigarettes?



If it's illegal to drink and drive, why do they sell beer at service station convenience marts?



Didja ever notice that kids in the back seat cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause kids.



Hey, I gotta get back to work...



Rusty

 

[bigkid59]

Why do men have HERnias and women have HYSterectomies? OK, the spelling is not exactly HIS but the pronounciation is there.



When did you last see a SANITARY landfill?



I have never seen a horse fly either.

 

[lgibson]

Why is Iceland green and Greenland covered in Ice.

 

[CJ Johansson]

Originally posted by LBrock

... I mean why would you keep looking after you found it?

Well, after a certain age, you sometimes keep looking even after you've found *something* because you can't remember if that was what you were looking for or not. You keep looking, hoping that eventually you'll remember what it was you were looking for in the first place.

Eventually, you stop looking mostly because you forget that you even *were* looking for something... Then you can't figure out what to do with that thing you've been carrying around for the last few hours...



-cj

 

[KBlanchard]

Subject: Shades of George Carlen



Did you ever notice when you blow in a dogs face it gets mad at you but

when you take the dog in a car it sticks its head out the window?



Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you

are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just one time... .



If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!



Why is it that if someone tells you that there is 1 billion stars in

the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet

paint on it you will have to touch it to be sure!



Ever wonder about those people who spend $2. 00 apiece on those little

bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.



Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing

section in a swimming pool?



OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the

Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the

Tennessee Titans?



If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one

enjoys it?



There are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian

faith.

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in a liquer store, or at hooters.

 

[Papa Joe]

LMAO...