Why women b!tch...

[Chris N5CWM]

This explains it all!

 

[Papa Joe]

Someone might be sleeping on the couch, eh?

 

[nps]

My thoughts exactly Papa.

 

[redneckdr]

women

women don't f@*t as much as men-------don't keep their mouths closed enough to build up pressure think piers could come up with a turbo to help 'em??LOL. . how 'bout it piers?

 

[CCahill]

Check it out!!!



Colin

 

[HDH]

Reminds me of a John Wayne Movie

The Quiet Man. Good Movie!

 

[Chris N5CWM]

Nope, no couch..heheh..just posting the image!

Everything's fine here. . so long as I don't stay

up until 4am reading TDR posts!

 

[DMcClellan]

Wife 1. 0 Just Released

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1. 0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10. 3, Drunken Boys Night 2. 5 and Saturday Football 5. 0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep wife 1. 0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7. 0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you please help me !!!??? Thanks,

A TROUBLED USER



------------------------------------------------------------





Dear TROUBLED USER, This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7. 0 to Wife 1. 0 with the idea that Wife 1. 0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1. 0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1. 0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7. 0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7. 0 to emulate Wife 1. 0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7. 0 because Wife 1. 0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8. 0 or Wife 2. 0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1. 0 and deal with the situation. I suggest installing backgroun! d application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1. 0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1. 0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1. 0. I recommend Flowers 3. 1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3. 3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1. 0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Best of Luck,

Tech Support

 

[Chad Sheets]

That made me laugh. Good stuff.

 

[DarrellB]

1 more reason

To be single. Showed this post to my girl friend (WHY) Could you please tell me where you got the Flowers 3. 1 program. I think I'm going to need it after she read that. Would of been alright if I would not have laughed out loud.



Is it right to make you sleep on the couch when they don't even live here?



Big D

 

[Steve M]

I sleep on the couch for no-one. Beware the manipulative practices of the controlling woman. She will slowly turn you into a puppet that she can control and humiliate to her own advantage. It starts with little quilt trips she lays on you over little things. She'll try to make you feel like she can do better and maybe she should. So you'll try alittle harder to please her as she manipulates you into more guilt trips and a feeling that you don't have what it takes to please her. So you try harder forgetting about your own pride and self worth. She does her wifely duties well and you don't want to lose that so you fall deeper into the trap. Her abusive nature isn't obvious to others as you seem to be so happy with her that you'd rather spend all of your time with her than take some time to spend with your friends. When you're worn down enough to give up your own bed, you're hen-pecked.

If my wife is to the point that she doesn't want to sleep in the same bed with me, I feel it's time to call it quits. We're not garrantied tomorrow as the latest events have reminded us. I will not sleep my last night on a couch. For anyone.

One pointer to consider... Marry an ugly woman. That way, when she leaves, you'll be happy.

 

[RBrunson]

Tec Support

also remember that sometime installing girlfriend 8. 0 the hidden Lorena Bobbit virus pops up and reduces your hard drive to a 3-1/2 floppy and throws it out the windows

 

[redneckdr]

sleep on the couch?

who sleeps on the couch? i sleep in the hd ram! you mean the rest of you don't????

 

[CCahill]

Years ago..... One of the first HBO specials had Robin Williams on it ... . I was laughing so hard, my jowels were hurtin'... had to turn the sound off for a while to relax my laugh muscles...



You guys are gettin' close



Colin

 

[Jeff H]

Maybe at this point a virus wouldn't be so bad.

 

[TStetson]

Could i install Girlfriend 8. 0 before Wife 1. 0??? As long as Girlfriend 8. 0 dose not have Kid 2. 0.



I was busting a nut reading that.

 

[CGoyette]

I must be a lucky man after reading all of this

My wife thinks deer hunting and fishing and shooting skeet is therpy and makes me a better husband/father..... there where only 3 women on the planet like this when I got married I was told so if I have one of the 3 then only 2 other men must have the other 2 and are therby happy as I am! (highly recommend wisconsin farm girls as life mates) There has only been one bad spot my wife has a tendencey to rag my A*ss about small deer should I bring anything less than a Cow with horns home! Not kidding its real embarrsing to be dringing a beer with your buddies while skinning a 8 pointer 180 lbs and your wife says "what last day taking the small ones" (north Carolina deer are no where near the monsters in WIsconsin.

 

[RustyJC]

Re: I must be a lucky man after reading all of this

Originally posted by CGoyette

..... there where only 3 women on the planet like this when I got married I was told so if I have one of the 3 then only 2 other men must have the other 2 and are therby happy as I am! (highly recommend wisconsin farm girls as life mates)

I dunno, I got a pretty good ole West Texas gal for a wife of 32 years. After installing a BHAF during the LSTDR rally last weekend, we were heading home towing the 5ver. The first downhill run, Sandy comments, "I just LOVE the sound of that exhaust brake with the new air filter! What are you gonna do to the truck next?"



Rusty

 

[JConley]

My wife yesterday got on my case because we showed up at the mall 20 minutes before it opened. She said that I should have known when the mall opened I said "If you didnt know, how in the world could I have known???" She said that I still should have known if I was a good husband. I said OK, How many degrees of advanced timing does this Ram have?? I told her that if she was a good wife, she would know that! Case Closed



Been married to a native Texas girl for 13 years, and I guarantee she is one of the other two.

 

[RHARVEY]

And I have the other one!!! I have been married to my best friend for 18 years and counting. We enjoy being together and doing things together. And around our house we don't head to the couch we work on the problem before bed.

Things get testie about once a month... if you know what I mean!!





Rick