You just might be a redneck if...

[Bill Lins]

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... (2003 Version)



Your standard of living improves when you go camping.



Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens. (ATTN: Doc Tinker!)



You have jacked up your home to look for a dog.



You have a relative living in your garage.



Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer.



There is a belch on your answering machine greeting.



You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode.



None of the tires on your truck are the same size.



You hold the hood of your truck with your head while you work on it.



Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test.



Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade.



Your local beauty salon also fixes trucks.



Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet.



You've slow danced in the Waffle House.



Starting your truck involves popping the clutch

 

[Andy Perreault]

... if:

you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car...

you wake up in the morning already dressed for work...

you have a bumper sticker that says "If you can read this, we're probably not related"...

you've ever laid rubber while traveling in a funeral procession...

you've ever cleaned your brake drums in the dishwasher...

you often find stray animals in your livingroom...



for the gals:

at your prom you wore a strapless gown with a conventional bra under it...

your panty lines can be seen from 100 yards away...



(Bill, I think you and I have the same calendar!)

Andy

 

[Little Bill]

If:

-You drive more than 100 miles to look at a hog.

-You can go to work in the same cloths you go hunting in.

-Cows can rub on your truck even when it is parked in the driveway.

-Your nickname is 'Redneck', and you didn't pick it.

-You don't bang your hand on the hood of your truck before starting on cold mornings, and you know there's a cat in there.

-You know precisely where 'yonder' is.

-The first thing you do when you get a new tractor is find a place to to mount a cooler.

-You avoid having to take the younguns to school because it simply take too long to locate and remove all the weapons in your truck.

-Cropping tobacco is a family activity.

-Mama showed you how to band a calf.

-You know how many turnips there are in a 'mess of turnips'.

-You always make a headshot when hunting coons so as not to bloody up any of the meat.

-Your pocket knife is sharper than you.

-You can't imagine how anybody could even think about leaving the house without a pocket knife and ball cap.

-The majority of your wardrobe was purchased at a military surplus store.

-You've ever ridden a bicycle wearing cowboy boots.

-You've ever worn cowboy boots with shorts.

-You've ever baled hay in your bare feet.

-You have guinea hens in the yard.

-You park an old school bus in the goat pen for their amusement.

-You've ever played poker in a converted school bus in the infield while waiting for the race to start.

-You've ever shared your beer with your horse or dog.

-You can look in someone else's spit bottle and it doesn't turn your stomach.

 

[lschultz]

If

You read the TDR eveyday

 

[BreaksEverything]

you had too read this thread to find out

 

[truckstom]

Originally posted by Bill Lins

YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF... (2003 Version)









You've slow danced in the Waffle House.









not the Waffle House, it was Denny's... there's just not enuff swing room at the waffle :-laf

 

[BIGDIG]

Originally posted by Little Bill



-The first thing you do when you get a new tractor is find a place to to mount a cooler.

Well the tractors old but I did Strap a cooler on the york rake attachment.

 

[BIGDIG]

Originally posted by BreaksEverything

you had too read this thread to find out

What if you can't read???

 

[BreaksEverything]

I guess you'll never know then

 

[BIGDIG]

:{

 

[BreaksEverything]

Originally posted by BIGDIG

:{

not to worry DIG someone will fill you in someday

 

[esommer2500]

You've ever shared your beer with your horse or dog.

Dam it!! I thought I was safe! The blue heeler does git thirsty too!



Eric

 

[Bill Lins]

It gets better....

Early this morning, on the History Channel's "Guts & Bolts" program, they showed a demolition derby with COMBINES!



Rednecks rule!

 

[onestackdram]

you might be a redneck if........

you drop your trailer load of hay when you see a ricer doing burnouts and run him down to race... ... ...





russell

 

[B.G. Smith]

And--

If a tornado comes through your neighborhood and does $10,000 worth of improvements. You can't get your wife to make love unless you bring the back seat out of the car into the house.

 

[lschultz]

You might be a redneck if you know what a tehinne is.

 

[daveshoe]

Re: It gets better....

Originally posted by Bill Lins

Early this morning, on the History Channel's "Guts & Bolts" program, they showed a demolition derby with COMBINES!



Rednecks rule!

Whattayamean history channel? Just go one county over -Miami county OH to see the combine demo. --Or go one county North to see ''The Electric Amish'' garage band perform ''Barn to be wild"

 

[hmartin]

I can't resist-

You might be a redneck IF the wore out tires on your dually can be used for roofing on your mobile home!

 

[bmoeller]

If you smoked during your wedding.



Asked the judge for a light.



Go to a family reunion to meet women.



Asked the preacher "How's it hangin'?"



If you've ever been shot by your hunting dog.

 

[SmokinU]

You might be a redneck if... .



The pink flamingo in your front yard has buckshot holes in it







WTF, my spellchecker don't know what a redneck is





Brandon