Your favorite saying

[C. Harlan]

They are beginning layoffs at work-- You see, the Japanese invented a shovel that stands up on its own, and needs no help!



I'm out like a fat kid in dodge ball!

 

[J Shocik]

Saying for after someone farts: "Your voice is different, but the breath's the same!".

 

[Texas Diesel]

"The tree never falls far from the fruit" GW Bush

 

[bodacious]

where there's a will there's a relative

 

[MKinner]

"He couldn't get laid in a womens prison with a fist full of pardons. " #ad

 

[GFritsch]

where there's a will there's a relative

:-laf :-laf







Here are a few off the top of my head--If only I could remember something useful.





Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.



She is uglier than a mud fence in a hailstorm



I'm hotter than a billy goat in a pepper patch.



He is the last chapter of “What’s the use”



Wish in one hand, crap in the other—see which one fills up first.



Most of my money I spent on beer and cheap women. The rest I wasted.



I am always right, I thought I was wrong once, but it turned out I was mistaken.



Never be cheap with others peoples money.



Incompetence is the gift that keeps on giving

 

[rrausch]

He was screamin' worse than a blind queer at a weinie roast.



After Michael Jackson got all that plastic surgery a buddy of mine commented: "This just goes to show that in America ANY poor black boy can grow up to be a rich white woman. "

 

[bmoeller]

From the movie "Six Pack"- No s*** Dick Tracy.

 

[SHobbs]

More of a movie line but it has been my fav for years.

" I've had my back broke once, my hip twice and on my worst day I could beat the h*** outta you. "



That girl is easier to jump over than walk around

Big girls are like mopeds, fun to ride but don't get caught on one

 

[Gene Arnold]

An old friend used to say about someone who was more action than accomplishment, “He goes at it like he’s beating snakes. ”



He'd tell me some outrageous thing he heard on the news and when I said, "Is that right," he'd say, “No it ain’t right, but its so!”



Gene

 

[DennyDay]

Better tired than hungry



Denny

 

[Dieselnut59]

One of the sayings one of my buddies says on his first sexual experience with a new girl: "This won't hurt, did it?"



One of my personal favorites dealing with the issue of government-funded children: "If you can't feed 'em, Don't breed 'em!"



Bar room saying: "Beer, it helps ugly people get lucky"



One of the local dance hall DJ's sayings: "The more you drink, the better the DJ sounds. "



I always kinda like another bar room saying: "You couldn't DRINK her pretty!"

 

[Moose]

Its better to be p!ssed off then p!ssed on



There r very few problems that cannot be solved by the application of high explosives



Theres legal, then there is what people do





Moose

 

[Archive]

For the guys in the military:



surrounded by millions of dumb founded dips#$%



common sense is not a common virtue



Our platoons quote:



The unmotivated led by the unqualified

doing the unthinkable for the ungrateful (IRAQ)

 

[Digger-Bear]

Teamwork: None of us is as dumb as all of us...

 

[lil red cummins]

1. when working on a large delicate project with a coworker and he says:



"oops" and i say "what do YOU mean when you say oops???"



2. when trying to make someone realize the lack of value to an item or effort:



"that plus $1. 50 will get you a cup of coffee"



3. when i hear my coworkers focus start up:



"when does that thing go into spin dry??"



jim

 

[bmoeller]

Our platoons quote:



The unmotivated led by the unqualified

doing the unthinkable for the ungrateful (IRAQ)

Or for the ungrateful welfare a-holes in Louisana.

 

[dieselpilot1969]

Don't worry, it will grow back!

 

[Andy Perreault]

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.



There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

 

[bighammer]

If you don't have time to do it right, when are you going to have time to fix it?