Your favorite saying

[nickleinonen]

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.

:-laf:-laf:-laf:-laf



that so sounds like what i do at work.

If you don't have time to do it right, when are you going to have time to fix it?

this sadly also sounds like what happens at my work. although this attitude keeps me employed...

 

[jnelson]

My usual top 3 -



1. ... ... shines like a diamond in a goats as_.

2. Someone asks -- "How ya doin?" - I say "Fine - but I'll get over it. "

3. Your acting dummer than a runover dog.

 

[JStieger]

"Why don't you wish in this hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first!"



-usually told to new hires at work

-tip: never tell this to your significant other :-laf or boss



-----------------------------------------------------------------------



At a bar to an ice princess:



"Hey do you want to dance?"

"No!"

"I just said you looked fat in those pants"

 

[Little Bill]

Q: How you doing ?

A: I've been better, but it costs more.



Q: Where is my {something or other} ?

A: If it was up your butt you'd know ... that's what Mamma always said.

 

[drawson]

If it's hard and doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger!!!

 

[PToombs]

Q; How you doin'?

A; Sh*tty, thanks for askin' :-laf



Whatta ya mean?

 

[Truckie]

Boy you must have dynamite for brains.

 

[SGolden]

A couple of my favorites:



Its all fun and games till some one loses a beer!



If it don't fit... force it!



~Shane

 

[bmoeller]

Q; How you doin'?

A; Sh*tty, thanks for askin' :-laf

Someone is FINALLY honest about the answer. :-laf :-laf

 

[Kernel]

My Mom once told me:



Everybody likes a little a--, but nobody likes a smarta--.

 

[JStieger]

mmmmmm..... beer

 

[kiwi bird]

Comparing real coffee to decaf is like comparing a night with your favorite movie star to faking an orgasm on your lonesome.

 

[BigEasy]

If all else fails, get a bigger hammer...



Nice move, Gump.



The best beer is free beer.



The two most important things to know in Life:

1. Never tell everything





my favorite one is in my signature...

 

[Rescue Ram]

"That's about as worthless as tits on a bull"

 

[Eric_B]

Like we say at work, Why do our customers buy from us and not the competition? Because "WE SUCK LESS" :-laf

 

[klenger]

You can buy better, but you can't pay more for it.



We're not happy till your not happy.

 

[SHobbs]

'Who's yer daddy baby"

More nervous than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs

 

[gravedigger]

"Man who walks behind truck gets exhausted. "

 

[Mike Ellis]

No good deed goes unpunished



Stupid is as stupid does



Dumb as a sackful of hammers



Drunk as Cooter Brown



A knife ain't a fork, but it ain't a spoon either



If I tell you a chicken dips snuff, look under its wing and you'll find the can

 

[bmoeller]

Pull my finger. :-laf