For self defense it stays loaded with 90gr. Hornady Critical Defense lite, but whenever we were on the range, we were running some cheap 130gr. FMJ thru it. Admittedly for her, it was a bit heavy. For me, I have no problem and it usually feels as if it's got no more kick than my .45 and I've never suffered any bruising
The problem for her wasn't as easily resolved, she simply has small hands with very little "meat" in the palms of her hands. Despite trying several grip techniques, and lighter ammo, the felt recoil tended to bruise the palm of her hand after shooting a few rounds. Initially, I had thought we could resolve the problem by replacing the hard pink factory grips (Same type used on Ladysmiths) and upgrade her to a new Crimson trace laser grip with backstrap. That made a small improvement, it helped extend her shooting time, but she would still have bruising. The problem was finally resolved by using gloves. I found her a pair of fingerless shooting gloves which provides just enough cushion to the palm of her hand that she wasn't being bruised any longer. She is aware that if she ever had to defend herself, she would accept the bruising, just as all of us in a similar situation will have to accept some temporary deafness. But eventually I plan to get her another revolver, something she is already familar with, can keep around the house, and take out target shooting. Something in the K frame S&W line, not sure which yet, but I'm also liking the Ruger GP-100 too. I figure that the heavier mass of a larger pistol will help absorb the felt recoil, and she can keep her J-frame for her conceal carry.
Ed