Having more pain than ever in my life

[JoshPeters]

Chris,



When I was a year old my Father and I were in a very serious Car accident. While I don't know the details, my Father died, and I was seriously hurt. I had my right leg broken in 3 places, and the right side of my skull collapsed. I almost didn't make it either. There was a wrongful death suit, and that money was placed in CD's till I was 18, then my Mom still wouldn't let me touch it till I needed it. When I say Need it I mean it. It put me through Tech School, while I still had to work and pay for my room and board.



There are days when I wish I could have at least gotten a good conversation with him. But I believe that I went into a line of work that he not only approved of, he would have been there helping teach me.



The money will never bring her back, and I'm sure your kids will understand that someday. The money will help you regain a "normal" lifestyle. I know that without that money my Mom and I would have lost the house I grew up in. The very house that my Mom and Dad purchased before I was born.



I don't think there is anyone that will fault you for going after what you can. This is a HORRIBLE thing for anyone to have to go through.



Josh

 

[jwilliams3]

Josh,

I hear ya man.



My Father died hang gliding when I was only a year old.



I would give everything I have just to talk to him.

 

[bmoeller]

Thanks for the update Chris. Since I haven't heard back, i hope you got my PM.



Although I never talked to her or met her, from her picture, she looks like she was a great lady. I know you'll miss her great smile.



I'm not a sue happy person, but in this situation, it is not a frivalous suit, and I would file one if I were in your shoes as well. If nothing else, it would help offset any costs of childcare when/if you needed help from someone outside of the family. Or as others had mmentioned, to setup an account for college later on.



It is great to have family that can, and is willing to help you in your time of need. Not everyone would do that.



Again, don't hessitate to call me if you want to talk.



Bryan

 

[manganos]

My family and I are still thinking about you and your family. I've read this post for a while now and it still makes me tear up. Remember you are not alone in this. We are here for you!

 

[CSnyder]

Well guys I am finally starting to get out of my rut I've been in for the last ten days. I managed to get my truck cleaned out and some regular maintenance done as well as adjust my gooseneck trailer brakes so I can go haul a load tomorrow from Des Moines Iowa to Milwaukee Wisconsin. It sure helped getting out of the house for a day. I brought the oldest girl home last night so she could get back to school today and she had a decent day her teacher said. I have a neighbor girl staying with us so in case I can't get home from work before her bus drops her off and help dress and feed her since I can't even make toast right. I figure it's just good caution so the state doesn't try to step in and take her away from me for unjust care or some crap. She's not my biological daughter but her father died as well about a year ago so I get to keep her with me and I'm so grateful for that. I hired a local attorney this morning to get the adoption paperwork rolling so I never have to worry about it again. Sounds like it's gonna be a easy deal. Her father's family is spread out from coast to coast and since Carrie and I have been together not one of them has attempted to see her except a grandma in California but my wife and her talked frequently and she says Bronwyn needs me and the twins here. I hopefully can get away in July this summer and take her to see her grandma since she hasn't ever met her and then I hope to go to Hawaii with her for a week since Carrie and I had already made plans to do that. I have also planned a trip to Breckenridge,TX for next month to take a load of hay down. I'm hoping that if I keep busy I can keep my mind off things that hurt to remember. I'm having great difficulty locating a nanny to take care of the babies so if any of you guys have any resources that would help I would greatly appreciate it or if you have a family member or just a friend that is in search of employment and willing to relocate to Iowa that would be as well appreciated. I only require that they love kids, don't smoke or drink, and can be trusted. I will offer a wage, room and board, car, cellphone, unlimited U. S. phone calls, lots of time off, international and midwest travel, and friendship as well as other things to the right person. I only ask that they make at least a 2 year commitment. I will also offer profit sharing in my business if they can manage books or drive a truck occasionally. I wish to thank you all again for helping me get thru this and special thanks to those of you who have emailed, called, or visited during these past 10 days.



God Bless, Chris

 

[fkovalski]

Good to hear that you are getting back on your feet, albeit slowly. Please, do keep us posted! It does me good to hear about your well being.



Keep the faith,



Respectfully,

-frank.

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

Good luck! Especially with the young'uns. Keep us posted.







PS: Speaking of young'uns, I just found out my second daughter is pg. I'm gonna be a grampa... . again. Had to tell someone. :-laf

 

[Mike Ellis]

Good luck Chris, we're all still thinking of you and your family and praying for you all. Have a safe trip down to Texas bud.

 

[RON'S RAM]

Chris,

My sincere condolences go out to you and your family. The suggestion of checking with your local churches for help in caring for your children is a great idea. Although we can not see or sometimes understand God's plan, I believe that our destiny was planned the day we were born. Have faith & lean on your family and friends whenever you are feeling alone. I hope your memories will help you get through this tough time.



God Bless you & your family!

Ron

 

[CSnyder]

Well I have managed to make it thru the first 3 weeks and I still have a heartbeat so I must be doing something right here. I still have bad dreams and Im not sleeping well and have picked up a chest cold but things are starting to get easier. I went last week and picked up a bunch of police and witness statements for my attorney and I made the mistake of looking thru them. I lost it totally when I came across the drawing of the scene showing my wifes body laying against a cement barrier and the transfer case from her truck next to her. A very difficult moment for me but Ive come to find out talking about it helps. I went by the tow company to pick up some items that were in her truck and seen the truck she hit. I pray to God everyday that the guy driving it has a full recovery. When I drove up to the tow company there were cars on one side of the building by a gate so I drove back that way and didnt see an office door so I pulled into the yard and did a turn around and the owner comes out yelling at me and I told him to just shut up. I pulled around to the other side of the building and went in the office and he comes thru the shop door with her things and started telling me to have respect and all and I told him if he needed to be such a F**khead he should at least put a sign by the driveway that says where the office is. I dont seem to have any tolerance for people like him anymore because of all the anger I am feeling. I hope someday that I can return to normal because you guys on here that know me know Im a laid back type of guy mostly. I went to a farm sale to buy some equipment last week and was sitting down waiting for them to get to something I wanted and overheard 4 middle aged guys blabbing about the accident and I just sat back and listened for about 20 minutes and later in the sale when I seen one of them that had stretched the truth so much about the details was bidding on a field cultivator and I had been prepared to buy it for around 7500. 00 I ended up making him pay over 10 grand for it and when it was done I walked up and told him what a stupid prick he was and had I not heard him talking about crap he had no business in he would have never had to pay that much for it. Im certain he figured out I was her husband because I seen him pointing fingers at me later on. I think I have found a potential candidate for the nanny position. She is 19 and has one child a year old herself and is going thru a divorce from an abusive man. I am going to meet her today at her parents house where she is staying. From talking with her on the phone for nearly 3 hours in the last week I can tell she has a good heart and loves kids and would be great to my kids becasue she asks lots of questions about them. I hope I like her as well in person as I do on the phone. I cant wait to see how she is with her own daughter. Her family is a bunch of big crop and dairy farmers and she said she is a simple person who just always wanted to be a farmwife so I dont think she will be running away with her head between her legs after time with my kids, because she seems very responsible. Right now she helps with milking almost 200 cows with her parents and takes her daughter to the barn everyday so she can, so I think she is ambitious. Her mom called and asked what i would like for dinner when I come and wouldnt take no for an answer. I also made it very clear with her that I wasnt looking to replace my wife I just want someone to help me with the kids and my business. I told her that I am totally ok with a nanny who had kids and would be ok with her daughter coming as well. I just said I would have to build a bigger house if there was more than one kid and she said she wasnt going to have any more for at least 5 years. Im thinking this girl will work out. She said she loves driving her dads Dodge Cummins as well and wouldnt mind driving the truck for me as well. I hope she can start immediately because my neighbor girl that has been helping with the oldest told me something that really ****** me off last night. She went and stayed at home over the weekend and her dad asked her if I had hit on her or anything like that and when she freaked out on him for asking such an insane question he said well he did just loose his wife. Im glad she feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it but man she is only 15 and it appauls me that he would even think that way. They are a very poor family and we have had them babysit for the last 3 years since they moved here and I have helped them countless times with fixing cars, plowing snow in their driveway, picking kids up from activities, mowing their lawn, etc and have never asked them to pay me or anything and I have never treated them different because they are poor and then he goes and says something like that just makes me sick. I told her I was very angry with her dad and Im not sure i should say anything to him in fear of getting her in trouble for repeating it to me. I know I will distance myself from them now because I hate to imagine what kind of person he really is if he asks his 15 year old daughter crap like that. Maybe Im over reacting but it feels very ackward to me. Once again I appreciate all the calls and messages and cards those of you have sent as well as the encouraging words and advice. I only hope someday I can be there to help any of you thru a difficult time of your own.



God Bless, Chris

 

[rono]

Thanks for the update. It does help to talk about things. Sounds like you may have found a good nanny. Hope everything continues to work well for you and yours.

Ron

 

[JoshPeters]

I'm happy to hear that you are doing better Chris. If you need anyting the offer still stands!



Josh

 

[CSnyder]

Well its been 3 weeks since my last update on how things are going so here it goes. I made an overnight decision with the help of a sledge hammer to remodel my house and have been super busy getting that all done. I put in the last trim nails this afternoon with the help of a couple friends I completed a 3 month project in 3 weeks. It has helped keeping busy but after putting things away today I had to pack up all my wifes clothes and personal effects to put them in storage. Wow that really hurts to say. Im just glad my kids and my mom were all here when I had to go thru that. I had a real hard time letting go of the clothes and jewelry that I loved seeing her in almost as if I was trying to pack away our memories as well. I made the decision to have mom pack them away in her garage so I wont have to deal with memories each time I go to mine.

Last weekend I had one super bad day which involved crushing my fingers with a hammer, breaking the output shaft out of my transfer case and having to change that, getting picked up for no front plate on the truck, my ignition switch burned out and had to hotwire the truck with help from a friend about 60 miles from home, and a speeding ticket for 74 in a 55 because my engine light came on and I was super mad by this point. I got home and went straight to bed. I hope I dont have many more days like that.

I met with the girl I mentioned in my last post and hired her and she will be moving in this weekend to help full time with raising my kids. I spent the better part of 8 hours with her that day and I can tell we will be great friends. She has a heart of gold and she calls each day to see how me and the kids are doing and if we need anything.

I hope to get back on the road making money by the first of next week and I have several long hauls planned all around the U. S. so dont be afraid to flash your lights if you see me about and I will stop for a visit. I know Im heading to Haubstadt,IN, Knoxville,TN,Grand Rapids,MI,Waterville,MA, and Houston,TX over the next 4 weeks as well as many tri state runs around me. You wont miss my white quadcab with Strictly Pleasure on the bugshield and pulling a gooseneck. Ill also be just south of Louisville,KY as well. I have lots of miles to make up that I have missed in the last 2 monthes of being off work and Im looking forward to hitting the pavement again.

Im also contemplating having a weekend wrench party here at my place this spring when nice weather hits if anyone is interested in coming around. I live in a valley on the Upper Iowa River in northeast Iowa and have lots of room for camping and a few grills we can burn some food on. Shoot me a PM if interested for my address and to be put on a mailing list for info.

Thanks again to everyone who has helped me get thru this in whatever way you helped.



God Bless,Chris Snyder

 

[JoshPeters]

Chris, let me know when you want to do the wrench day at your place. I'll get it up on the web site, and let John E know, and he'll get the E-mail list rolling!



Josh

 

[rono]

Hey, when you will be coming to Houston let us know about time & date. Will you be coming down thru Dallas or thru East Texas like US 69 or US 271? I am close to both of those and we maybe could have lunch or coffee or something.

Ron

 

[Mike Ellis]

Chris, that day you had was a humdinger - going home and going to bed is a sign of good character (and great sense!). I think I would have fared much much worse bud.



I am glad to hear you have been able to keep busy, you are doing your family proud. Good luck and may God bless you all, be safe on those trips and count down the days til you get to be back home with the kiddos.

 

[GBobbitt]

Chris:

You don't know me, but I have not forgotten you, I still say a prayer for you when I think about you and your family. Take care and God be with you.

 

[CSnyder]

Well here I am one year later and I have many of you to thank for helping me get through some of the worst days of my life! I was dreading this day for many monthes now but the anticipation of it coming has been much worse than the day itself. I honestly believe the worst days were what would have been our anniversary, our birthdays, and mostly Christmas. Its been a trying year for the children and I and Im sure with more time it will get easier. I tried a total of three different nannies and only one worked out but she had to return to college so now I have hired my mom fulltime to help me care for them when I cant be home. Ive taken extensive career changes for myself which included closing down my contracts for hotshot freight so I could be home more and buying to date 3 Freightliners and buying and leasing nearly 2000 acres of ground to farm as a baseline. Its great because I can be home all the time and the money is much better than the hotshot contracts I had. I would highly recommend to all of you that if you dont have a living will to please get one made up as well as a death wish list with your pastor to ease the pain for your loved ones if something should happen to you. I can tell you that these choices were the hardest on me and some I still have not decided on because it just hurts too much yet. I know its difficult to fill in those answers for yourself because Ive done it myself but it will sure help your family know they made the right choice for you. Another thing I would recommend is to be sure that everyone you love knows it each time you say goodbye because it may be the last time you say it to them. Ive learned alot from my experience that life is entirely too short to be unhappy and twisted up in everything you do. Take the time for whats most important! We only live once and sometimes there just isnt time for a second chance. I would say that if you have a dream to live it now before its too late! My sister made me this photo and I look at it each morning to help me make the right choices for today... .



Thanks again for everything! Chris

 

[AMink]

I'm so glad that things seem to be taking a turn for the better for you. I just can't imagine...

 

[RON'S RAM]

Hey Chris,

It's good to hear that you and your family are making it through this. That is a great picture that your sister did for you. My wife did something similar for me when my dad passed away. I hope you have a great year and things get easier.

God Bless you & your family.

Ron