Hot Investment for Troubled Times

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Twas the night before elections

During this financial crisis in America a lot of people have sold off a lot of their volatile investments and are wondering where to put their money where it will be more secure than the stock market. I’ve come across a great business opportunity that sounds like something you other TDR guys might be naturals to buy into since we are all pretty innovative. Anyway, back to the subject.



A group of my acquaintances, called simply, “The Associates,” are putting together a new operation. Their intent is to find a depressed area and establish a large cat ranch. They are starting small, with about one million cats. Each female cat averages about twelve kittens per year; skins will bring about fifty-cents for the white ones and a dollar for the black, bringing revenues of $18,000,000 per year. This averages out to about $60,000 per day, excluding Sundays and holidays.



A good cat skinner can skin about 50 cats per day at a wage of $60 (8 hours X $7. 50 per hour). They figure 800 people can operate the ranch so the net profit will be $12,000 per day.



The cat food will be rats, and they plan to start a rat ranch adjacent to each cat ranch. Rats multiply four times as fast as cats and if we start with a million rats we will have four rats per cat each day. The rats will be fed on the carcasses of the cats we skin. This will give each rat a quarter of a cat. You can see by this that the business is a clean operation, self-supporting and really automatic throughout. The cats will eat the rats and the rats will eat the cats, and we get the skins!



Let me know if you are interested and I will tell you more about our investment program. By the way; we are working on a method of crossing the cats with snakes so they will skin themselves twice a year. This idea has fantastic possibilities. :-laf
 
I'm gonna have to get in on this... I always miss the ground floor opportunities, not this time!



On another note, I have just started a business selling mail order products such as left-handed adjustable metric wrenches, cannuter valves, muffler bearings, shoreline, and dehydrated water for older VW cooling systems. I have also looked into carrying Flux Capacitors, but the DeLoreans just aren't being driven as much these days... Drop me a line if I can fill your needs!
 
That's funny, and I like cats. What about getting a contract with a major city, such as NYC, and get the rats from there. The city would pay you to catch and dispose of them I'm sure.

I need a couple of muffler bearings and knutter valves.
 
I would like to order a sky hook. Those are great for lifting equipment to work on it, rotating tires, moving houses, mobile homes or even trees.



Is that not racism where the white cats are available for 50 cents and the black ones are a dollar? Or is it only racism if it is the other way around? Does that also mean a Barack Hussein Obama type cat would be 75 cents?
 
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