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Redneck Humor

> >

> >Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed

> >away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?

> >She can't touch it until she's fourteen.

> >_______________________________

> >

> >How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel?

> >When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the

> >person at the front desk says, "go ahead. "

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?

> >There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck. .

> >_____________________________________________

> >

> >Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to

> >32?

> >It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?

> >A documentary. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?

> >Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >Where was the toothbrush invented? Oklahoma.

> >If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to he

> >driver,

> >"Got any ID?" The driver says "Bout what?"

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?

> >The winner gets $3 a year for a million years. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?

> >Nearly everyone has the same DNA. .

> >_____________________________________________

> >

> >Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas burned

> >down?

> >Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >A new law recently passed in North Carolina:

> >When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >What's the best thing ever to come out of Arkansas? I-40. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in

> >Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >A Mississippi man came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next

> >door,

> >telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is

> >on

> >fire!" "OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?" "Shucks, don't

> >you

> >still have them big red trucks?"

> >_____________________________________________

> >

> >Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movies theater in groups of 18 or more?

> >'Cuz 17 and under not admitted. .

> >______________________________________________

> >

> >What do you have when you have 32 Rednecks in the same room?

> >A full set of teeth...

> >__________________________________________________

> >

> >A woman is sitting at a bar having a few drinks. The bartender notices

> >that the woman takes a drink then looks in her purse, she takes another

> >drink then looks in the purse. After a while the bartender goes over and

> >asks what is so important that she continues to look inside her purse after

> >every drink. The woman replies, "I have a picture of my husband inside my

> >purse. When he looks good I'm going to go home. "
 
Montana jokes

People from Montana making Redneck jokes is like the pot calling the kettle black, especially since the state population was cut by 50% when the unibomber was caught.



Ken
 
I read in the newspaper just the other day that the school board in one of the Montana cities had to cancel Drivers Ed and Sex Ed at the same time. Yep, it seems the mule just up and died.
 
Three biggest lies in Montana

The three biggest lies in Montana are.



1 My pick up is paid for.



2. I quit chewin snoose.



3. Honest I was only tryin to help that sheep through the fence.
 
OK you guys got me. This is true, not a joke; The reason there aren't many Montanan TDR members is that very few can afford a truck and computer at the same time, let alone the $35.
 
quote: A new law recently passed in North Carolina:

When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. .




In Montana they're still Brother and Brother and have a custody battle over the Jeff Gordon pictures and that Mule that bigkid59 mentioned. :D



In Montana the houses are so small that the family sleeps in the same room, same bed, same underwear. :D
 
Last edited:
klenger & Doc- do they still make Vernor's? Do they still have the big neon sign at the plant that "fills up"? (lived in east Detroit & Royal Oak until '67).
 
I've lived in Colorado for 25 years now, so I'm not up on alot of the michigan stuff. Almost never went to Detroit. I grew up in Grand Rapids.
 
Bill, Vernors is still being made. When I go out east, I always take my uncle some. He went to Michigan State in the 40s and aquired a taste for it, so he's always asking me to get him some.



I haven't been near the old Vernors plant in years, so I don't know if the neon sign you're talking about still exists.
 
Wrong hand

I quote the following from your web site:



"You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your right hand"



What about us Yoopers the use the proper(left) hand?:D
 
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