Problem With Girlfriend....What do i do..?

[Mike Ellis]

XcumminsX,



Young romances can and do work out, I was 19 and in college when I married my wife (she was 17 and still in high school) and we have a couple of decades together now.



However, the idea of you going home to sleep and the gal staying out to continue partying is a recipe for disaster bud! Seen it happen to people before. If you are in a serious relationship, there is no need for such additional partying day in and day out - heck it's grow-up time for her too, after all. There is an old country song that you ought to buy and listen to every time you leave her out partying while you go home to sleep:



**********

"Lonely Women Make Good Lovers... "



Lots of times a lonely girl,

will go out on the town

With no thoughts of evil on her mind

She don't try to plant that seed,

But there's something every woman needs

and a friendly smile will do it, every time



Lonely women, make good lovers,

they're all at the mercy

of a good lookin', smooth-talkin' man.

Lonely women, make good lovers,

so if you've got a woman,

better treat her just as good as you can... .

**********



You may say, "Heck she won't be lonely and I can trust her... etc etc". But something you will learn sooner or later, young adult females are not always rational. Something trivial like you spending too much time cracking the books for an exam and not showing her enough attention or listening to how Tiffany got mad at Amber, could have her really fuming and feeling lonely and misunderstood. And then along comes that smooth talker to help her understand just how mistreated she really is... . oh yeah, recipe for disaster bud.

 

[snowracer69]

X,



First I'm gonna take your back on the paying for your own pickup thing. Yes, my first two pickups were "given" to me, BUT both were paid for, and both were then handed down to others after me. My second one was a '97 Chevy that I knew ahead of time would go to my younger cousin after I graduated. I gave it to him in better shape then I recieved it in, and then he proceded to trash it... pi$$es me off to this day! Then I got my Toyota, and my parents did make a sizeable downpayment on it, but I carried well over half of the cost of the pickup on a loan, till I sold it. Then, I bought my Cummins by myself, and took out a 5 year loan on it... I have it over half-paid off in just 2 years! I too work hard for my toys (mostly just my pickup and hunting stuff) and it shows. My truck may not be the prettiest on the road, but everything that has been done to it has been paid for in cash, and that I am proud of. I make more in 3 months over the summer then a lot of people I know do in 6 months of regular working. 'Course, I work minimum 12 hour days 6 days a week, and 8 hours on Sunday, but it pays off! I don't have to work while at school, and I don't get into trouble over the summer because of it. Oh yeah, both my friends who have Cummins both do the same thing... . work hard over the summer to pay for their stuff, then take the winter off and go to school in THEIR trucks. I guess we (you included) were just brought up a little different then a lot of people, taking pride in what you can get when you work hard and take care of things.



Now, onto the girl thing... ... ... ... ... ... ... .



I was in my first real relationship for 2. 75 years (to the day). Started when I was 17 and she was *gulp* 14 (I swear, I thought she was 15 and didn't find out till a month into our relationship, not that it changed anything at that point). Obviously we were both young (but probably on the same mental playing field, me being a 17 y. o. boy), but as it has turned out now, she was REALLY young! We stuck it out for over 2 full years of long distance (934 miles to be exact) while I was at school and she was/is in HS still. I guess you could say that she basically "grew-up" while she was with me. We finally split up this last September after 2 weeks of non-stop fighting, and we both decided we needed a break. When I went to see her over x-mas break she totally blew me off the first time (not in that way you sickos!) and I was like, ok, that's it, I'm done with it now, and I moved on (had been hangin' on up till that point). I started dating another girl from back home that I had a crush on in HS, and things were going really well with her. Well, the ex- did finally come around and came to see me on her accord (in the game I play, we call that "I win" ). We started talking more and she just wanted to apologize for a bunch of stuff. To make a long story short, I then blew her off for the next week, and then the night before I left, she came to see me again. At this point I was what could be considered b/f-g/f with the new girl, and so was not in a position to get back together w/ the ex, which is what she wanted. It TOTALLY devastated her, and it was harder on me then the initial break had been. She had finally grown-up enough and realized what I had been telling her the whole time we'd been dating (just small things, like don't put so much stock in what people say to you, and don't worry so much about what they think about you, let your actions speak for you... as a sidenote, we were/are both extremely good students, and were/are both leaders in our schools... people in our small community know who we are, and that put a lot of pressure on her).



I do think things would be much better now if I was with her, but I'm gonna give this other thing a chance. As EVERYONE thinks they need to tell me, I will tell you too... . if it's meant to be, it'll all work out. Don't worry about it so much. If she thinks you either need to be with her every night, or not in her life at all, well, you've got a choice to make. One of the toughest ones I've had to make about girls was promising my ex (she asked me to promise her this) that if I wanted her in my life as a friend that I was to never try and make it more then that EVER! You want to talk about something that is hard to say... tell the only girl you've ever loved that you will never love her like that again, just so you can still talk to and see her... . no, I'm not sure she means it (at the time I did) but I will keep my word and not make the first move... if she wants more then friendship in the future, that's up to her.



I will also second the motion that women are insane! I truly believe that they were put here to torture men in unmentionable ways! Of course, where would we be if we couldn't cuddle up next to something as soft as a gal on a couch and watch some TV? Well, there just wouldn't be a point to being here, would there?



My $0. 0175, and I know it was a lot of rambling, but maybe someone can pull something from it. If she decides it's over, your life is anything but over... you're young, dumb, and full of *ahem* stuff, so don't worry so much about it.



BTW, the new g/f loves to hunt, fish, snowmobile (one of my biggest passions) and loves the Cummins! Gonna hold onto this one a while and see what happens.



Josh

 

[XcumminsX]

I think you guys think i study ALOT. At most i study for 2 hrs a week. ANd thats mostly during lunch time or break at work. I give her all the attention she needs, I am the one who yells at her sometimes because i want to be with her more. I am available for her from 3:30 - 12 (midnight) oclock EVERY NIGHT of the week. AND im available for her from 1:00 p. m. - 2:00 a. m. on saturdays. And im available from 10:00 a. m. - 12 (midnight). I just dont get where me not being out with her for 1-2 hrs a night would hurt things. We had a long talk last night about it and i asked her are you worried about the summer? and she said no with a confident look on her face. And i told her how i am going to be working my ass of for our future, not just becuase i want to or just dont wanna stay out. I told her this either i can put xxx. xx amount of dallors away per week. Or i can go into work at like 9 in the morning instead of 6 and not be able to put any money away. I told her you gotta stay with me threw thick and thin, and by me working like i do will only make our future better. She understands and i am 95% sure she will accept it. She knew i was serious about it because i had tears in my eyes telling her this. She would never cheat on me, I know this. If you guys knew her you'd know it. All of my friends would yell at me when i wouldnt let her go out becuase i was worried about her X boyfriend. Which i should have never been worried about. I was just being a ******** about it. Mostlly because i hate the kid. I am confident things will be ok. 4-5 years down the road we are going to get married. She is going to school locally so she wont be going away, she has said many many times she wants to be married to me and when we lie next to each other in bed she says i cant wait untill we can do this every night. I cant wait either. Shes the most beautiful girl in the world. I will get a pic and post it and i bet you will all post this ------> :--)



Nick

 

[snowracer69]

Like I said, you're young, dumb, and full of it... .



What you think now, you may not think even 1 year from now, or 4-5 years down the road... trust me on this at least a little bit... I was just there, standing in your shoes, fat, dumb and happy!



BTW, I'm not one of these older guys giving out advice (no offense fellas, but I take advice on this stuff a lot better from guys my own age then someone who "was there 10, 15, 20 years ago), as I turn 21 next week.



Anyway, good luck to you and the little lady. Oh, don't post her pic w/o her permission either... just a courtesy to her... she may not like a bunch of strangers taking a peak.



Josh

 

[3atatime]

:-laf That was the funniest thing I've ever read. I almost had tears in MY eyes from laughing. I'm sure she's fat and ugly. :-laf

 

[XcumminsX]

thanks snow racer.

 

[lschultz]

No more comments from me

Yep as it has been said before your young,dumb,foolish,full of it and you got a lot to learn. People can tell you but you don't really want to hear what they say. Your gonna do it your way. You make a mistake your gonna have to live with it. One day your gonna look back on this and say if only I would of listen to them fellows. Been there done that. Its your life so do with it what you want to. I have seen many many a man pulled down by the so called this one is for me girl.

 

[JConley]

At 18, you can lie down and do it with anybody you want. And the sooner you get married the sooner it stops!!!



Do you notice other good looking women?? At your age, you should be going after them instead of taking the easy and secure road...



Course what do I know... I have only been married 15 years

 

[Newf Limo]

First of all, you are too young for a Real Relationship! You need to be out enjoying life. It isn't time to be serious. When you both have reached 25, you will go through a final change that will give you a different outlook on life and priorities. Stay away from marriage until then, and for Gods Sakes, don't get her pregnant! The time between 18 and twenty five will set the tone and pace that you will live with for the rest of your life. Use this time wisely. I'm going to be blunt here. . . Most guys your age have raging testosterone and fall in love with anyone who answers the call. Get the call answered (use protection) enjoy your time together and promise yourself and each other that until you reach 25 AND have a good foothold on your future, you are just going to enjoy each others company. Quite frankly, I think you should play the field while you can and get it out of your system, there won't be any playing it later, and you will regret it.



That being said. . . do what you are going to do anyways. That is what 18 year olds do . Best of luck. And did I say Don't ge her pregnant?!?!? If not, try this. . . Don't get her pregnant!



Sorry to be crude, but I can't stress this enough. I have a brother with 5 kids, a step child and 4 more from 2 wives (marriages were post pregnancy) and a new wife with one on the way. His life is pretty much over. He had to drop out of college and now he will be shoveling asphalt the rest of his life.



So, Have fun, enjoy the things young men should enjoy and (all together now) DON'T- GET- HER- PREGNANT!

 

[Sled Puller]

Originally posted by Mike Ellis



But something you will learn sooner or later, young adult females are not always rational. .

Mike, let me edit that for you just a bit... .



"females are not always rational. "



THERE!!! Much better!



XcCumminsX, are you sure you are not 14 instead of 18?

 

[XcumminsX]

3atatime..... (edited what i was normally going to say because i dont want trouble for personal attacks as read per rules)... . Just do me a favor and never reply to any of my posts again...



Maybe it was wrong i posted this thread. . Most of you seem to think my girl is either a $l**, and will cheat on me. Or that there is no way it will work out.



Yeah im young and maybe i will screw up but if i do then i do. When i posted this thread i was looking for things to say to her to back it up and i did. And thank you to those who actually used there brain and helped me out. For those who just shot of stupid comments, Well thanks for wasting your time and mine for having to read them.



Nick

 

[dseabaugh]

She is imature and proving it wanting you to stay out all night with her. tell her to take a hike or you will just be postponing the inevitable. There are many girls that are more mature and understanding. find one.

 

[SEmerson]

Originally posted by Sled Puller

#

PRE#1!!!!!

Don't get her pregnant!!!!



Yea, yea, I know it FEELS like love, but trust me, it will wear off.

Theres not a nickels worth of difference in any of them, so unless she has money, use her,... I mean... have a mutual good time. . and let her go. LOL

There are many more out there. And the fun is in the chase. (and catch ) Move on and ejoy life your too young to have a keeper. And alway remember it will get much worse when your marreid so it must be better than perfect if you keep her.

 

[PLaFrombois]

Nick



After reading all these pages of comments from other members, it really boils down to, "what do you want to do"? I'm sure you asked all sorts of questions regarding the buying of your Ram. If you're like me, you already know what you want, you just wanted clarification from others.



You're in the same boat as my brother at 18. Only he was the one that wanted to stay out late at night, and his girlfriend didn't. They went through some rough times early in their dating after high school. It took them 10 years before they got married. I now have a nephew that will turn 3 in February, and a niece who is 5 1/2 months old. They're finally building a house on a wooded lot they bought 4 years ago.



Make your own decision, and send that picture. :--)



Paul

 

[Rebel_Horseman]

X I hate to tell you but you seem to be about as niave as I once was. You woman has something between her legs and I guarantee she will use it on more than just you. I have never known a woman to be toatally truthful and worthy of putting ym trust in. Just like 3 thinks that way about men. It's the cold hard truth that you are way too young and niave to think that at 18 you need to be worried about marriage. Grow up a little son. If you don't like what it said then don't read it, but there are several members on here that do not and will not hold their tongues. Anyway, I will admit and I believe it to be the Lord's honest truth... it's not the years that count it's the miles. Yeah I'm only 25 but I've got enough miles on me to know how things are inthe real world, not one where everything is handed to you. Worry about working and making YOUR life happy cause no one else on this planet will. The "stupid comments" were made to allow you to see that you are a fool to worry about this hoochie in the first place. Like it was said... she's immature to want to stay out anyway.

 

[Sled Puller]

Originally posted by snowracer69

BTW, I'm not one of these older guys giving out advice (no offense fellas, but I take advice on this stuff a lot better from guys my own age then someone who "was there 10, 15, 20 years ago), as I turn 21 next week.



Josh

What are you talking about? I'm 35 and was still making those same stupid mistakes a year and a half ago!!!!

 

[MCummings]

hmph,, go figure.



I'm not one to comment here, as most the guys who think they know me here, think I'm a bit psycho/crazy (I think I am too ). Only a few thought the relationship I have with my girl and I have would last any amount of time.



I think the 3 F rule is stupid. Especially with what goin' around out there these days,, eek. Some girls are just stupid.

I think saving yourself is a great idea, and although that was the last thing on my mind, I did it anyway. (It did help that I couldn't get a date, LOL)



I've had to re-evalute my relationship with my girlfrined a couple times, and although we dis-agree about somethings, like Music, and, why I can't burn rubber on the street, we agree about alot, and she puts up with my forgetfullness and such, and I put up with her stuff too, but no reason for me to make her look bad, right?

I think we are fat, happy, and full of it, and hope to trim our relationship up in the next two years enough so both of us realize were we are goin', and to get us prepared for marriage. We have both realized that the only thing marriage would really change between us right now, is the fact that I pay for everything (no more parents), and we would stay up all night under the covers doing the bed time shuffle.



Nick,

Just make sure her head is on straight. She sounds like a good girl, actully, she sounds like me, LOL, all pushy and such. If hse is like me, she'll through a big fit, and be all pouty, but will get over once she see's things are working out. As long as she's faithfull and in it for the long run.



Sleep/Rest is good for you, even when you are 20 yrs old. Going to bed at midnight, and waking up at 8am is ok, but more sleep, is healthy.



Ask some old people ( I mean old like 70yrs old) if anything good happens after 10 pm or so. Not often will you find succesfull people saying good things happen after 10pm. My g/f's bedtime is 12 midnight, but I like to put her to bed at 10, just sometimes she has so much homework it's impossible.



My $. 02 is, neither of you need to be out past midnight everynight. Occasionally, I see that's fine, but habit? Not for me.



Merrick

 

[XcumminsX]

Thank you Mcummings, Rebel horseman, and plafrombois.

 

[MCummings]

Iedited mine, since the grammer was helacious. Hopefully you can understand me better now.



Merrick

 

[JPLB22]

Nick,



I am only 21 and as of last month I am engaged to be married this September. I have been with the same girl for 4 1/2 years now. When we first got together I was 17 and her 15, both going to the same H. S. . There is nothing wrong with spending the rest of your life with your highschool sweetheart.



Someone once told me that if you have to work to make a relationship work, than it ain't worth workin for. I now know that is totall B. S. , life is going to always be full of big and little trials. There is nothing you can do to stop it. Sooner or later everything has to be dealt with. And I don't believe there is a person out there that you will never have a disagreement with.



By your time table that you posted earlier there seems to be enough time for you to hit the weight room. Help get rid of some of that testosterone. The weight room is also a place of escape for me. That is definately one place where everything that is happening outside makes no difference to me whatsoever.



P. S. I have learned in a very short time how important and helpful the advice of older people can be. How very very important !!!



Good Luck !!!



Jeff