Here I am

Y'allbonics

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Y'ALLBONICS



The Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting 7 billion

federal dollars to teach y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the

Mason-Dixon line.



Included here are some samples of y'allbonics. If y'all do not understand

any of them, contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.



HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.



HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of the above greeting.

Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"



BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck. "



JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck. "



BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.

Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in

improvements. "



MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my Dodge/Cummins pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts. "



THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.

Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a coke. " Or "I thank I did, not shore!"



IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native. "

Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"



RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.

Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of my Dodge pickup truck my

brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago. "



AWL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts awl in my Dodge pickup truck. "



FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the awl in my pickup truck,

that thing's gonna ketch far. "



TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.

Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my

pickup truck. "



TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that

Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime. "



RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.

Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65. "



FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.

Usage: "You younguns keep on fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh. "



RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for our rats. "



CHEER - (adverb) In this place.

Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer. "



FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.

Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. . must be from some farn

country. "



DID - or deyad-(adjective) - Not alive.

Usage: "He's did, Jim. "



ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen.

Usage: "He cain't breathe... give 'im some ARE!"



BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence. "



JEW'HERE - (noun) & (verb) contraction.

Usage: "Jew'here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war

fence cump'ny?"



HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit

n' his liife. "



SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

and

' VIEW - a contraction of a verb & pronoun.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City. 'View?"
 



Hey, this was some good honest to goodness education of the slaughter of the english language from our brothers in the south. Don't ruin it with that "fake" Jeff Foxworthy talk :p .
 
Jeetyet:

:-laf Swear to God, I have a co- worker from North Carolina who uses this ever day 'round 11:30 when we are all trying to decide on what to get! It's his way of saying, "I am gettin' hungry and am wondering what "y'all" are doing for lunch. " (and he knows no one has actually "eaten yet" since it's only 11:30, but it's funny to hear him ask!:D
 
The one about FAT ain't right. It's Fite'n.

My 86 year young grandmother tought me a new one yesterde. I called her up on mudders day and first thing she say's is"Jeweerk taday"Naw I'zzoff teddy.
 
Originally posted by rrausch

Y'ALLBONICS



The Southern Association of Colleges & Schools is requesting 7 billion

federal dollars to teach y'allbonics in all classrooms south of the

Mason-Dixon line.



Included here are some samples of y'allbonics. If y'all do not understand

any of them, contact your closest southern bubba for an explanation.



HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.



HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of the above greeting.

Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"



BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck. "



JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck. "



BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.

Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in

improvements. "



MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my Dodge/Cummins pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts. "



THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process.

Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a coke. " Or "I thank I did, not shore!"



IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native. "

Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"



RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.

Usage: "I thank I leff my ranch in the back of my Dodge pickup truck my

brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago. "



AWL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts awl in my Dodge pickup truck. "



FAR - (noun) - A conflagration.

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the awl in my pickup truck,

that thing's gonna ketch far. "



TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel.

Usage: "I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my

pickup truck. "



TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, Ah sure hope to see that

Eiffel Tire in Pars sometime. "



RETARD - (verb) - To stop working.

Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65. "



FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.

Usage: "You younguns keep on fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh. "



RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for our rats. "



CHEER - (adverb) In this place.

Usage: "Just set that bare rat cheer. "



FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic.

Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed. . must be from some farn

country. "



DID - or deyad-(adjective) - Not alive.

Usage: "He's did, Jim. "



ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas; oxygen.

Usage: "He cain't breathe... give 'im some ARE!"



BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence. "



JEW'HERE - (noun) & (verb) contraction.

Usage: "Jew'here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war

fence cump'ny?"



HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah... haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit

n' his liife. "



SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

and

' VIEW - a contraction of a verb & pronoun.

Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City. 'View?"



You forgot one "Innernet"
 
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