Your favorite saying

[dpuckett]

Life is like a jar of jalepeno peppers; what you do today may burn your a$$ tomorrow.



I'd rather be Cummin than Strokin'. (why had NO ONE put this one up yet?)



colder than a cast iron commode on the dark side of an iceberg.



Six soldiers standing up are better than eight lying down (who has that in their signature?)

 

[VMF-113]

From a cop's perspective,



" Any ammo you don't use is a waste of taxpayer money".







Regards to all,



Mark

 

[Shovelhead]

Beware, the toes you step on today,

might be connected to the butt you'll have to kiss tommorow.



It's useless to try to make it Idiot-proof,

Nature keeps building better idiots.



Refering to racing:

It'll either Go or Blow.



Just another DWI day. (Dealing With Idiots)

 

[bmoeller]

It's cold enough to break the b**** on a brass monkey.



Pull my finger!



When eating and someone asks me, "Does that hit the spot? I say, "There is only one spot to hit".



Needs more cheese.

 

[Turbo Horseman]

Help me Jeebus!

 

[mgonske]

"I'll burn that bridge when I come to it"



"Never try to teach a pig to sing--it wastes your time, and annoys the pig. "



Descriptions of organized messes:



- "goat-rope"



- "rat-killing"



Back in my instructor days, Army counterpart's description of his cadets:



- "rocks with lips"

 

[Jumbo Jet]

"There's always GOT to be one SOB in the crowd!"



Hotter than a two d!ck dawg!

 

[John]

When the green flag drops, the bull$hit stops!





My eyes feel like two pi$$ holes in a snow bank!





He couldn't poor pi$$ from a boot if the instructions were written on the heel!





(I live in Western Washington State... so this one REALLY applies):



It's raining harder than a cow pi$$ing on a flat rock!

[sometimes a few colorful expletives are added just to accentuate the condition ]

 

[C. Harlan]

You can't run with the big dogs when you p*ss like a poodle!!!



3 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights DO make a left!

 

[lschultz]

Set on it.

Stick it where the sun don't shine.

If you play with the fire your gonna get burnt.

 

[JoshPeters]

As Diesel Tim said at the recient Dyno day in MN.....

"I think she's still running a little lean. " Just after his truck hit 950 torque on the dyno.





from work

He could F$*#-up a wet dream!



He doesn't know his @$$ from a hole in the ground.



he couldn't find his @$$ with a map and a flashlight.

 

[daveshoe]

Workin' harder than a cat tryin' to take a ''crap'' on a tin roof!



So ugly someone musta' smeared cheese on her face and stuck her in a rat bin. So ugly someone set her face on fire and put it out with a pick- axe

 

[Spooled-up]

I refuse to tiptoe through life only to arrive safely at death.

 

[machterhof]

The are very few personal problems that can not be solved by the suitable application of high explosives.



Your twisted, perverted and sick - I like that in a person.



I don't know, I don't care and it really doesn't make any difference.



It's been so long since I've had sex - I can't remember who gets tied up.



If you promise not to smoke, I promise not to fart.



If I wanted to hear from an a$$hole, I would have farted.



I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet.

 

[marksmith]

Rather be cummin than strokin... . I didn't put it on earlier because I see it every day when I get in my pickup.



I personally like "F*&# Up a free lunch"



and this one gets people all fired up



"Cry me a river, then build me a bridge so you can get the F#$& over it"





Take care

Mark

 

[Rotty]

SOS

SOSDD

SNAFU

FUBAR

 

[jmeehan]

Something I use at work:



"It's all going to break sometime, I'm just here to shut it down in time to salvage something. "



The chief engineer's don't seem to like to hear this, but they like me at work.

 

[benhall]

Working for the government, and with others that I know that work for the goverment at different levels, I've heard and said this a lot myself:



Good enough for government work.



Ben

 

[LOtero]

Mom always said.

mom always told me "dont drive faster than your guardian angel can fly"

well my angel has a bombed cummins too, so she can keep up.

 

[C. Harlan]

Crowded smells different to midget.



He who finds himself in the doghouse, soon finds himself in the cat house!



Never estimate the power of stupid people in large groups!