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Co-workers suicide by train (somehwhat long)

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For the past 2 days, I've been debating on wether or not to post this. I've decided to post in case this may help anyone here on the board, either personally or with someone they know or care about.



Karen was a 46 year old woman, who had recently (4 months ago) underwent a full mastectomy of her left breast. She had reconstructive surgery, where the doctors had used muscle and tissue from her back, and implants to reconstruct her breast. The doctors had gotten all of the cancer, and as late as a week and a half ago, inserted another implant to even her out and started reconstruction to make her look natural.



She has also, unfortunately been battling with substance abuse for years. Ever since I've known her (I've worked here 8-1/2 years, she has worked here 22 years) she has been talking on and off about ending her life. One day she would be happy as can be, the next, she would be very hard to talk to.

She had seeked professional help after she tried once before, but she stopped. One of the other girls that work here would talk with her all the time, and has talked her out of this more than once. She even tried Sunday night.



There were radio reports on the way to work Monday morning of a woman that was struck and killed by a Boston to Washington D. C. train, in an apparent suicide, Sunday night around 10pm right behind where I work. I thought it was sad news.



11:00 am Monday morning, all office employees were brought into the conference room for what was the most terrible meeting we have ever had here. The President of our company notified us that Karen (our co-worker) took her own life the night before. She was the one we had heard about that was hit by the train.



I now know why people set up small shrines at accident sights. I walked behind the building during lunch on Monday, I don't know why, but I needed to. I met the Amtrak crew that was cleaning up. The lead person brought me to where they found her. I had brought some flowers I picked from a bush outside our office and buried them near the rails for Karen, hoping and praying that she is finally at peace. Seeing the place she was at helped.



Everyone here at work is having a hard time working. I keep thinking, that if Karen knew how much everyone around her cared, that maybe she would not have done this.



There are so many un-answered questions.



Please, remember that life is valuable. Tough at times, tougher at others, and great at still others.



I hope sharing this story will help someone. It has helped me.



Thank you for reading this.



Please say a prayer for Karen.
 
Batman,



I, along with so many others here in TDR-land, understand the pain you and your coworkers are going through. Many times it seems that the person who commits suicide doesn't think of what this will do to the survivors and what they will be going through. Suicide is the most selfish act anyone can do. Please realize that, from what you wrote, everyone did all they could to help Karen. This was a choice she made, but everyone else has to live with it.



I say all this because almost 10 years ago, my oldest son committed suicide together with his girlfriend.



My prayers are with you and everyone you work with there.



Wayne
 
Thank you guys for your quick responses.



Wayne, the survivor pain is what is difficult, as you know.

I very sorry to here of your son and his girlfriend. I t must have been (and probably still is) horrible to deal with.



I shared my story in hopes that someone that may be considering this would see how it affects those around you.



Be safe.

George
 
It'll take y'all some time, but you'll put it in the back of your mind and bring it out from time to time. You'll smile at some of the happier memories and still shead a tear or two over some of the less happy ones.



Wayne
 
Originally posted by wcaldwell

Batman,



Many times it seems that the person who commits suicide doesn't think of what this will do to the survivors and what they will be going through. Suicide is the most selfish act anyone can do. Please realize that,



Wayne



Batman that is well said, I could not have said it any better my self.

I have seen and been called to the scene many of times being a EMT//Firefighter. The pain and anguish they leave behind is unbelievable. They think they were having a hard time dealing with life and all its problems, now they just dumped there problems in the laps of all there loved ones they left behind.

I don't mind sitting there with a person all night helping them through a problem, but it really hurts me when after all that time I spent with them they decide to end there life right there or they wait and do it the next night.

All I can say is I hope your friend is finally at peace with here self.

I know it hurts now and people always say time will heal the wounds, and pain but some times it takes a life time. I will say a prayer for you and your co workers, and most of all your friend.

Hope this helps.







MIKE
 
My thoughts are with you George...



A friend from HS took his life with a . 357 Mag back in September - I thought the same thing you did... if he would have seen all the people at his funeral and the afterparty - he might not have done it.



Nobody will ever understand what goes through people's minds that successfully commit suicide. It's very sad and tough to deal with to say the least.



Matt
 
George,



Not a suicide, but a tragic accident...



2 weeks ago there was a 18 year old who drowned in the river that we boat in.



It was a beautiful Saturday, me and TMTT were out on the boat for a quick ride. We came up on a group of kids waving their hands in panic. Yup, the first one on the scene. If we had been there 2 minutes earlier, that thought keeps going thru my mind, as well as Tim's. We looked in the water for what seemed like 15 or 20 minutes, it was probably less than 5 minutes. Picked up the phone and called 911. The teen cramped up while swimming across the river and couldn't make it. His friend tried helping but was getting pulled down himself, so had to let his friend go. When we arrived on the scene, his friend was just getting out of the water yelling "He's right there, he's right there!!!!"



If we had only been there 2 minutes earlier...



They found the body the next day, almost 24 hrs later.



That was an adrenalin rush I hope I never have to experience again.
 
My condolences to you and your co-workers. Thank-you for posting this.



A good farmer friend of mine (he was a little older than my dad) hung himself about 8 yrs ago. 2 days before his 50th birthday. Another friend(my age) found him hanging in the corn crib.



Cpr had been tried, but it was already to late.



Along with farming, he played the organ at the rodeo and sold musical instruments in his own store.



I don't think there was anyone that didn't like him and his family. Some of the niceest people you could meet. Virually everyone from our small town was there at the funeral. Around 900 people.
 
Hey Batman

Sorry to hear about your friend. It's such a small word to hear about it,then find out she worked with you. I'm working a few days a week with Camara helping him with his directional drilling business. Were drilling on University Ave across from you,near where it happened. I heard it on the news and thought it was an accident. You know,I havnt heard much from you lately,its too bad we had to meet up like this.

It's kind of sad to think,like you said in your post,that you had to meet up with a cleaning crew to find out where your friend ended her life. :(

To me,I think that people who take there own life,hurt their family and friends more than they we're hurting themselves before doing it.

Again,sorry to hear about her.

keep in touch.

BIGDIG
 
If a person has never really been depressed it is hard and difficult to understand what depression is. Being sad because a loved one dies is just that, being sad. The way you described her being happy one day then down the next, that is depression. I know, I have been there.



I am going to let you into a little about my bout with depression. Not for sympathy but to help you understand depression. I have been living with depression since 3rd grade. I could get so happy over the smallest things, then in a blink of an eye I would want to die. When I was 12 years old, another boy in the foster home hung himself on his 16th birthday. He did not want to get old. I got out of the so called Child protective service's care and moved in with my birth father when I was 15. I found that by working I could forget about my life and my depression seem to go away, or I thought.



At 27 another life changing event happened to me. Just like everything else it was not good. My depression came back 10 fold. I could drive down the road enjoying the drive when I would all the sudden want to drive into a tree. I let all my friends go, I pushed them away. One would not let me push her away. She spoke with my Attorney and he got me the help I needed.



Now at 36, Norva still won't let me push her away. I still have problems with depressing but the thoughts of taking my life is gone. Not for me, but for Norva; I would not want to hurt her and I can now see that she does care.



When someone is seriously depressed they will not seek help on their own. The feel everyone would be better off without them. They don't think that their passing will hurt anyone but believes everyone will be better off. If it wasn't for Norva, I would not be here. She pushed back when I tried to push her away.
 
lgibson, I did not want to post this. However, I have also been linving with depression since childhood. The exact feelings you've descibed hit home... ... ... ... . very hard. I started medication a couple months ago, which has really helped me. I've also had friends, my best friend becam emy wife 8 years ago. She and my daughter have gotten certain "thoughts" out of my head, but, the depression wsa still there. Although it is not svere depression, it still sucked.



Bigdig, Sorry I haven't kept in touch. I have been busier than ever with work and home stuff. Not too much time to goof around! Thank you for your thoughts. Tell Camara I was thinking about him please. BTW, we were all distressed at finding out where she did this. Our boss didn't tell us how she did it, but through curiosity and word of mouth, we found out around noon on Monday. The lead man of the cleaning crew must have been through this many times. He was very gracious to show me where thay found her.



Bmoeller, thanks for sharing your story.



Torquethis, Mark, I feel for you and Tim. That must have been (and probably still is) difficult to think "oinly 2 minutes earlier".



Talking to co-workers and friends (like those of you here) really helps.



Thank you.

George
 
Thanks for sharing Batman and others. Very sorry to hear about that.



I believe everything happens for a reason, whether the person its happening to thinks its the right reason or not.



Take care and thoughts are with you.



Nick
 
Hey Batman,



I am truly sorry to hear that she was your friend. Bigdig & I were working across the street drilling under the RR Tracks when we heard about it from the detail cop. I have a good friend that battles with depression and substance abuse but atleast there is no talk of him calling it quits. In a couple of weeks we will be working in front of the T parking garage, drilling under the road. Feel free to come down and say hi. BTW we will have the grill going and the hamburgers will be hot.
 
I shed a tear
For all the lives
Gone before their time

And for all the lives
Forever changed
The ones they left behind

I don't pretend to understand
It's happened to me, too
A friend, relative, acquaintance
Or someone I barely knew

Now we are all survivors
We know we must go on
We'll miss them and we won't forget
The ones that now are gone
 
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