Dealing with a Donkey of a family member?

[MarkEkberg]

My sister is executor of my father's will. Half way through this ordeal I asked him if he thought having her in this position was still a good idea. Told him I don't want the job and I don't think any of us should be. Apparently he thought it was a good question. He found someone to be executor and changed his will.

When sister finds this out it will put her into a high speed wobble.

 

[Deleted member 995608]

He found someone to be executor and changed his will.

Smart move

 

[ranger 393]

Looking for opinions to support or tell me I was wrong.

My nephew (age 18) decided to get into my truck and then ran it into my garage in June.
He tried many times to tell me it rolled into the garage, but the driveway slopes away and after you read the damage will come to the same conclusion I did. He did this without my knowledge or my permission

He broke two studs in the garage wall, broke cabinets inside the garage hanging on the wall when he moved the wall. Obviously there was exterior cosmetic damage as well. Estimate from contractor who is a good friend of mine was 1600.
Truck needed bumper valiance, dent in fender fixed and both fenders realigned, bug deflector. Immediately had bad vibration which I assumed to be the carrier bearing. Something had to give when you put a 8K truck against a rigid object. Estimate from garage, also friend of mine, who BTW did free work for them when their car broke down at my mothers passing, was 2500.

The back story to my nephew is he was sent to NH from SC because he was involved in drugs, and was not going to graduate. My sister sent him to a family friend of hers to finish out school. He did, but had no plan for after HS.

Both he and my sister blew me off for over a week, after many attempts to speak with them about what plan they had, and what they intended to do. They left NH early to go back to SC without discussing anything but her ins company would cover it? I called mine, told them what happened. They told me sisters ins would not cover. SO I had to go through the BS with my sisters ins company finally getting a no.

They then accused me of inflating estimates, trying to steal from them. Insisting there was existing damage to truck and no way truck did that much damage to garage. Refused to pay full amount and tried to tell me how much they were paying.

At that point I told her I was done dealing with them, and going through my ins company. My ins company needed a police report. Police dept decided to charge him with theft due to damage amounts.

I have continued to receive scathing letters blaming everyone under the sun for what happened, blaming me for my nephews actions, and still accusing me of stealing from her. Everyone in my family is upset that there is now a NH warrant for my nephews arrest. She is extremely upset that spoke to anyone about it, including my father who attempted to loan her the money needed for the repairs, she refused it.

I have found out that the ins company is now going after all their money, and he still has the warrant.

I have ignored and refused to communicate with my sister because I know there is nothing I can say to get her to understand what happened, but it is eating a hole in me not blasting back.


Any thoughts on this from anyone?

If you know where he is staying, call the sheriff dept and fill them in on what took place, they could pick him up on his warrant,and hope that your state will extradite him.

 

[jhenderson]

If it was me, and it's not you know, I'd let sleeping dogs lie. With a warrant he and his outfit will probably stay away. That's 2K well spent.

 

[MarkEkberg]

No state will extradite for a misdemeanor. That's fine with me. He can take care of it on his own time as far as I am concerned.


My guess is that the next time he is here will be for his grandfather's passing. Tough time to take care of things like that, but that is not my issue.

I am in a decent place with everything. My wife and I are done with them. Our kids will miss them, but not much we can do about that.

 

[TJJEEPER]

No state will extradite for a misdemeanor. That's fine with me. He can take care of it on his own time as far as I am concerned.


My guess is that the next time he is here will be for his grandfather's passing. Tough time to take care of things like that, but that is not my issue.

I am in a decent place with everything. My wife and I are done with them. Our kids will miss them, but not much we can do about that.

Good on you Mark. Taking the high road and let Karma take care of things.

 

[ranger 393]

No state will extradite for a misdemeanor. That's fine with me. He can take care of it on his own time as far as I am concerned.


My guess is that the next time he is here will be for his grandfather's passing. Tough time to take care of things like that, but that is not my issue.

I am in a decent place with everything. My wife and I are done with them. Our kids will miss them, but not much we can do about that.

I was just offering a suggestion, may not be a solution to your problem. Sad that people in general are not held acountable for their actions. I hope everything works out, its tough when family is involved.

 

[jhenderson]

My father had a pretty good saying. "It's hard to get ahead of someone you spend your life trying to get even with."

 

[Killgore]

jhenderson, your father was obviously an astute gentleman!

 

[MarkEkberg]

One more piece to the puzzle..................

The insurance company called me a week ago. Said they were sending the ins bill to collections because my fabulous family was not cooperating with them and not agreeing to pay anything.

I also figured I would get some accurate info from the police dept. They said they did not pursue a theft charge because he never left the driveway.

 

[EDankievitch]

I think you the right thing. It's time this kid grew up and takes responsibility for his actions. Too bad that your sister can't be charged for not bringing up her child the right way.