How do you convince the boss you're good for something, when you aren't?

[Doc Tinker]

I've got a meeting with the boss on Tuesday. Since I've been knocked out of my old job by a bad back, I've got to convince him I know something about nothing and would be a good candidate for a know-nothing job that they are trying to groom for me.



I guess what I really need to know, is how can I prove that I'm the best person for the job, so the job can be written to fit only me and not one of the brothers with more seniority.





Doc

 

[illflem]

Show them how you keep all your paperwork on your chair and sit on it so the air conditioner on your desk doesn't blow it off. Also start a petition at the job demanding that a sound-proof nap room be installed.

 

[Archive]

Walk into the meeting with a clipboard and several papers with writing of some sort on them.



Any time he asks you a question, just tell him that you have appointed a committee to look into that subject, and will have a full report done soon.



You might also mention the fact that you are, ahem, a member of Globe, and a minority that knows what his rights are.

 

[The patriot]

See the dog poo thread... ...

 

[SLVRBLT]

Don't Worry!

Doc-



Don't worry, old age and bull$hit always overcomes youth and skill.



Dave

 

[Fireman]

SORRY !

Sounds like you are over qualified.

Fireman

 

[Shovelhead]

"Old Proverb"



If you can't dazzle them with intelligence... ... ..... Baffle 'em with B. S.

 

[RustyJC]

Doc,



If you're like me, you don't really want another job, do you? Personally, at my age and after 28 years with my company I've had enough of jobs - I'm ready for a position so that I can get paid for not working!



Rusty

 

[Doc Tinker]

Good thinkin', RustyJC!!

 

[B.G. Smith]

Don't worry about convincing him that you are qualified, if he's like most of the bosses I had, all you need to do is tell him how smart he is to have thought of providing a job to fit your physical abilities. Re. (see Shovelheads post) bg

 

[jwdeeming]

Most of all, Doc, you need to hope and pray that your prospective boss isn't an active TDR member!

 

[Archive]

Originally posted by jwdeeming

Most of all, Doc, you need to hope and pray that your prospective boss isn't an active TDR member!

ROFLMAO!!

 

[chuck3]

Something about nothing

Doc, I would say your a shoe-in, you know more about nothing than any one Ive ever known!

 

[Sled Puller]

Trade secret Doc, but go rent "Fight Club" and do what that dude did to his Boss!



It may work for you.

Gene

 

[work2muchplay2little]

Help him get promoted!!

 

[Ranger Dick]

Watch old episodes of Seinfeld. Especially the ones where George works for the Yankees. Make sure your desk is big enough to sleep under, and get an el cheepo car that you can sneak away from work from, while you leave your real car in a conspicuous place. Use the word preciate alot when he asks you something. Practice leaning over a barrel. Say "Thank you sir, may I have another??" Good luck. Also, if he is a speed freak, Take him for a ride in the cummins

 

[Briar Hopper]

Tap his phone, and hide a bug mic under his desk. In two days, you'll have enough info on tape to get him in trouble with the IRS, the NAACP, his wife, his ex-wife, the current mistress, and the last two people he sold his used cars to... .

 

[swamp rat]

'and if all else fails, I'll lend you my UZI, 2000 rounds of 9mm Parabellum 115gr, 6 120 round drum style mags, a brass catcher w/dump bag, and two extra barrels to baffle the ballistics experts when trying to do a trace on the weapon. *note the brass catcher & dump bag will allow you to not leave any spent casings lying around to be run thu ballistics and the extra barrels will let you prevent melting one down and confuse ballistics.





Disclaimer: the above was meant only in jest. Do not take any of it seriously.

 

[Archive]

Originally posted by Briar Hopper

Tap his phone, and hide a bug mic under his desk. In two days, you'll have enough info on tape to get him in trouble with the IRS, the NAACP, his wife, his ex-wife, the current mistress, and the last two people he sold his used cars to... .

Yikes! Remind me to never make you mad!

 

[John Berger]

Doc, is this a government job? If so, just walk in with a stack of papers that have nothing but information about you on them and tell him it's your resume and you've been accumulating all of this information just for this day. You'll be hired on the spot. Bureaucrats love paper work. To really schmooze up to him, ask him if you can have a meeting to discuss some issues you have noticed over the appropriation of office products. This will probably be worth 10 bonus points, at least.