I need help!!!! (childcare)

[CSnyder]

Hey guys I need help finding a good dependable live in childcare provider. Most of you know my situation with loosing my wife in a car accident. Well I tried a few different local girls and none of them have worked out. The first one thought there was more to being a nanny than just caring for kids. I woke up to her crawling in my bed. The second one was great but she went back to college. The third one was good too but she wasnt ready to take care of 3 young kids. So now Ive hired my mom to help but she is turning out to be very unreliable. Dont get me wrong here guys! I love my mom dearly but she uses our relationship as leverage to ruin my day too often. I prepay her each week to come out on Sunday evening and stay here until Friday afternoon so I can work. When I work weekends or have something going on she takes them home to her house. It works like this because she lives in a different school district. She doesnt want any compensation for helping me so I just do a deposit to her bank each week and that way she cant refuse a check or cash. Several times I found cash in my desk drawer that I had given her. The dilemma is that she cant understand I need someone that can be here M-F for my oldest when she gets off the bus and when Im on the road I cant guarantee I can get home in time (ie; accident, breakdowns, etc) for her. This week my oldest was sick and mom kept her at her place until last night and I had to drive 45 minutes to pick her up last night. She waited until 6 pm to call me and ask that I come over and get her and at the time I was right in the middle of a job that had to get finished last night. So I dropped everything and made the drive and waited until she fell asleep to go back to my shop and finish the job. Im scheduled to leave for Missouri at 10 pm tonight but mom just called and said she isnt going to come until around noon tomorrow so now I called my customer and told them their was gonna be a delay and he said to just forget it. I delayed him already because the job I finished last night was a clutch that went south in my tow rig. My mom knows the situation but doesnt seem to let it concern her. Her reason for not coming until tomorrow was that she needed to finish getting X-mas stuff stored away. I am finding it very hard to not show her my anger over this type of stuff because this haul would pay me 1500. 00 and this isnt the first time she has done this. Its actually almost every week! I really appreciate her help but I just cant keep letting this happen or Im gonna loose my head with her and I dont want to. She stresses me out more than trying to keep 3 big trucks and a 2000 acre crop farm running. I doubt I could ever find someone who can take care of my kids like she does but I need a change before I have a stroke dealing with this stuff. I really appreciate the fact that you are still reading my rant and if you know ANYONE who is good with children and needs a job and housing please ask them to call me. At this point I dont care if its your ex gf's brothers ex girlfriends cousin! Please help me! 563-546-7772



Many thanks! Chris

 

[JoshPeters]

Man I'm sorry to hear about this Chris. I'll keep my ears open!



Let me know if I can give you a hand!

 

[JLabossiere]

Don't get discouraged Chris, I been in the same situation as you are. Raised my two boys for 12 years on my own while I worked rotating shift work at a gas plant. My saving grace was a local neighbor ( 6 mile's away) after 3 and half years of looking, who also raised 75 foster kids in her life time. I did go through a few other's until then. Just remember that kids are smarter then we give them credit and will help as much as they can too if we tell them the situation and treat them as a adults also. I got in my situation when my boys were 3 and 5 years old, now they are 16 and about to be 18 and been (basically) on their own for the pass 2 years. Their father (me) decided that flying helicopters and operating gas wells would be cool and now I work away from home for extended periods of time and they cope with it. I know it isn't easy but don't give up hope Chris you will find someone that will help, it might be through the local church group or someone unexpected, like the grumpy neighbor but someone will come around.

Joel

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

I'll second Labossiere's encouragement Chris. I too had to spent eleven years raising my young kids by myself. Albeit it was part time with me and part time with her. In some aspects that can be tougher because it was being ripped apart inside by her carp and when it was time for them to go with her.



I was fortunate to have an outstanding babysitter of the same faith to love and care for my kids. (Even when she asked me to have a talk with my daughter about beating up the boys :-laf )



Its tough now but the relationship you are building will be the most important thing you are working on until you find another. You sound like you have a lot on the ball to offer your kids.

 

[TowPro]

some girl I work with just hired an "opair" or something like that. She picked some girl from Germany. I think it cost her $5K up front, then she pays her $150. 00 per week and feeds her, plus gives her a place to live. the deal is for 1 year, but it can be extended to 18 months. I will try to remember to get the website she hired this girl through and post it here for you. (yes, the girl speaks english )

 

[CSnyder]

The name is called an Au pair. I payed an agency this spring 5000 to help me get someone and all I ever got out of them was people who couldnt speak English. I have no faith in those money monger agencies anymore. Thanks for taking the time to give your advice! Thanks to anyone who can help! Chris

 

[p-Bar]

Ya watch out for those Au pairs. They are girls from europe just here to party.



Chris,

Go to one of your local churches , their are a lot great christian women that would help you with your situation. My grand kids were being baby sat by a 15 year old girl she let them eat 3 packs of lifesavers for dinner one nite , amazed the 2 year old didn't choke(angel watching over him) the final straw was when the almost 5 yr old burned himself on the electric heater. I am sorry for your predicament and will pray someone comes toyou and your kids rescue.



Don

 

[GIT-R-DONE]

Are there any neighbors around that could help you out? Any daycare centers around that could fit in your kids for after school. Does your school, churches have anything , programs, that could be of any help? Just throwing out some ideas here.

 

[CSnyder]

I tried the neighbor girl plan right after my wife died but she charged me 150 a week to take up space on my couch and this was only to help with my oldest girl in school. I even did this girls laundry for her because she was that lazy! The afterschool plan wont work because I have twins age 3 at home yet. My church wont be any help because the congregation consists of all retired people who have a hard enough time taking care of themselves and I dont want to bother them with my problems since Im financially stable enough to pay for a nanny. They are all aware that Im looking for help in case they know of anyone. I want to hire someone from out of this area because I think that it is too easy to quit a job that isnt absolutely perfect when you are from the area you work in. The last girl, who is a friend of mine, quit after a week because she said 3 kids was too much for her to handle and she wants 5 of her own someday! She didnt even have to do anything other than watch after the kids and cook for them. I dont need a beckon call girl for my children but just someone who will take care of them like a mom when Im working. They are welcome to do as they please in this house except my bedroom. The trucks, the office, the phone, etc are all available for them so long as my kids are taken good care of. I dont expect them to bust their ***** for a paycheck. I dont care if they cuss, smoke, drink, or enjoy squirrel hunting so long as they dont do it in front of my kids regularly. I do my own share of these types of thing but I dont make a habit out of it with my kids around. Thanks again for the ideas guys! Chris