On Saturday, June 9th, 2018, my wife of 20 years passed away suddenly at 41 yrs young. She is survived by our 12 year old daughter, her non-ambulatory (ESRD) mother, and me.
She started to feel like she was getting a cold on the afternoon if Saturday June 2nd. Wednesday the 6th a fever came and she was doing pretty rough. She went to her primary doc (who failed her miserably... she presented with 90/66 BP, 100 BPM heart rate, fever, clammy skin, nausea, and chest pains) and was sent home with a Z pack and some directions for homeopathics.
Wednesday night was rough, but she figured it was the flu and would just rest through it.
Thursday night she took a significant downward turn and started vomiting - I would later learn she was vomiting some blood.
Friday morning she asked me to take her to the ER. We went to the closest one, about 1.5 miles from our house. There, they quickly determined she was worse off than they could handle. She had 50s over 30s BP, still high heart rate, elevated ST segment EKG on multiple leads, troponin levels around 5.1 (indicating heart muscle damage), and fluid around her heart. The decision was made to airlift her to another hospital with an ICU and heart hospital (and CVICU) attached.
She spent the day at the other ICU where they were just trying to stabilize her and load her with antibiotics to kill off whatever may be in there.
She was placed on a BiPAP st some point during the day to help with oxygen delivery.
At 9pm she was moved to the CVICU to have an Impella device inserted in her heart. Her femoral arteries were too small, so they inserted an aortic balloon pump.
At 3:30am I got the call they were intubating her.
At 4:20am was a call for consent to put her on dialysis to help with the acidosis and sepsis. Her troponin levels were now at 6.8. They also talked about moving her downtown to the main hospital.
At 5:40am I got the call they were moving her downtown. So, I woke our daughter and we started getting ready to head downtown.
At 6:22 I got the call to get to the current hospital, as she might not make the flight.
We go there and see my wife until the flight crew arrives (same ones as the lift the day prior).
We get downtown and await her arrival, although she should have already been there. We were told they were having trouble stabilizing her enough for the flight. We were soon told she was in the air and would be there soon.
Then comes the movie scene. A gurney comes crashing through the doors with people all around shouting orders. There's someone on the gurney doing chest compressions. It was my wife.
They worked on her for at least 20 minutes before coming out to inform me and ask my decision. They said she likely would never be the woman I knew due to the time her brain was without oxygen. I made the call to stop efforts and say goodbye to the love of my life and mommy to our little girl about 9:50am.
Her services were this past Saturday at a small church near our house. The pastor has now done three services for our family and is a great, kind, and compassionate man. It was standing room only as neighbors, off road friends, old friends, my work colleagues, and even our daughter's teachers were there. It was a beautiful service with tears shed and a few lighter moments as I told our story to those there.
I received her ashes back yesterday and they now sit in her urn. That was completely surreal, but quite final. I kept hoping she would just wake up and come home... unrealistic, but the mind messes with you when the heart is involved.
Last Wednesday, our 9 yr old Aussie had to be euthanized. He had been diagnosed with cancer in his liver, spleen, and kidneys in April. With mom gone, he just gave up. He stopped eating or drinking and developed some badly bleeding sores. The blood was lymphatic (gross, I tell ya). He also began giving me "that look" and I knew it was time. His ashes also came home yesterday.
To say I'm living in hell on earth right now is an understatement. Our daughter is going from a stay at home mom to a single working father. I return to work on Monday, the 25th.
We will figure out a new normal, but with no available family and most friends working, it won't be easy.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Our family lost its cornerstone, the world lost an amazing woman, and Heaven gained an angel.
She started to feel like she was getting a cold on the afternoon if Saturday June 2nd. Wednesday the 6th a fever came and she was doing pretty rough. She went to her primary doc (who failed her miserably... she presented with 90/66 BP, 100 BPM heart rate, fever, clammy skin, nausea, and chest pains) and was sent home with a Z pack and some directions for homeopathics.
Wednesday night was rough, but she figured it was the flu and would just rest through it.
Thursday night she took a significant downward turn and started vomiting - I would later learn she was vomiting some blood.
Friday morning she asked me to take her to the ER. We went to the closest one, about 1.5 miles from our house. There, they quickly determined she was worse off than they could handle. She had 50s over 30s BP, still high heart rate, elevated ST segment EKG on multiple leads, troponin levels around 5.1 (indicating heart muscle damage), and fluid around her heart. The decision was made to airlift her to another hospital with an ICU and heart hospital (and CVICU) attached.
She spent the day at the other ICU where they were just trying to stabilize her and load her with antibiotics to kill off whatever may be in there.
She was placed on a BiPAP st some point during the day to help with oxygen delivery.
At 9pm she was moved to the CVICU to have an Impella device inserted in her heart. Her femoral arteries were too small, so they inserted an aortic balloon pump.
At 3:30am I got the call they were intubating her.
At 4:20am was a call for consent to put her on dialysis to help with the acidosis and sepsis. Her troponin levels were now at 6.8. They also talked about moving her downtown to the main hospital.
At 5:40am I got the call they were moving her downtown. So, I woke our daughter and we started getting ready to head downtown.
At 6:22 I got the call to get to the current hospital, as she might not make the flight.
We go there and see my wife until the flight crew arrives (same ones as the lift the day prior).
We get downtown and await her arrival, although she should have already been there. We were told they were having trouble stabilizing her enough for the flight. We were soon told she was in the air and would be there soon.
Then comes the movie scene. A gurney comes crashing through the doors with people all around shouting orders. There's someone on the gurney doing chest compressions. It was my wife.
They worked on her for at least 20 minutes before coming out to inform me and ask my decision. They said she likely would never be the woman I knew due to the time her brain was without oxygen. I made the call to stop efforts and say goodbye to the love of my life and mommy to our little girl about 9:50am.
Her services were this past Saturday at a small church near our house. The pastor has now done three services for our family and is a great, kind, and compassionate man. It was standing room only as neighbors, off road friends, old friends, my work colleagues, and even our daughter's teachers were there. It was a beautiful service with tears shed and a few lighter moments as I told our story to those there.
I received her ashes back yesterday and they now sit in her urn. That was completely surreal, but quite final. I kept hoping she would just wake up and come home... unrealistic, but the mind messes with you when the heart is involved.
Last Wednesday, our 9 yr old Aussie had to be euthanized. He had been diagnosed with cancer in his liver, spleen, and kidneys in April. With mom gone, he just gave up. He stopped eating or drinking and developed some badly bleeding sores. The blood was lymphatic (gross, I tell ya). He also began giving me "that look" and I knew it was time. His ashes also came home yesterday.
To say I'm living in hell on earth right now is an understatement. Our daughter is going from a stay at home mom to a single working father. I return to work on Monday, the 25th.
We will figure out a new normal, but with no available family and most friends working, it won't be easy.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. Our family lost its cornerstone, the world lost an amazing woman, and Heaven gained an angel.