Need help with a decision...

[C. Harlan]

Ok Y'all... Here's the deal. . I have to go to a funeral tomorrow for my great, great uncle. . He was in his 90's, and was married like 67 or 68 years. I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months, and she really wants to go with me, but I dont think its the right time for her to meet my family. Help me out please. What should I do?



-Chris-

 

[Sageair]

I would take her but keep the focus on your family and keep the introductions brief . Good luck. Steve

 

[Ol'TrailDog]

Heck, I wouldn't let the hunchback, the missing teeth, the straggly greasy greying hair, or the wad of Cope deter True Love. A serious case of puppy love will win 'em all over. Nows the time.

 

[biggieou]

Well think about it this way: If you dont take her, what will she think? I think its best for your relationship if you take her than if you dont.

 

[C. Harlan]

True. . I just dont want to bring her in at such a bad time to meet my family. I am not taking it very well, and I am having a hard time talking to her about it, so that is not helping. I know she wants to be here for me, and I really appreciate that. It's just that in a way I feel awkward taking her to a funeral with me, and meeting all my family for the first time, at the same time which we are mourning the loss of a relative. Does that make sense?

 

[biggieou]

Yeah of course it makes sense to me, but I'm a guy, shes not, LOL and we all know this is where the common cause of trouble lays!

 

[JStieger]

I have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months, and she really wants to go with me, but I dont think its the right time for her to meet my family. Help me out please. What should I do?

I just dont want to bring her in at such a bad time to meet my family. I am not taking it very well, and I am having a hard time talking to her about it, so that is not helping. I know she wants to be here for me, and I really appreciate that. It's just that in a way I feel awkward taking her to a funeral with me, and meeting all my family for the first time, at the same time which we are mourning the loss of a relative.

Tell her this ^. If she's got a heart, she'll understand. When she's gone, you still always have good family.



Is there any other type of family gathering coming up (birthday, etc?)? If so, that would be the time to introduce her.

 

[RHARVEY]

If she cares enough to want to go... ... ..... take her and be very proud that she wants to go.



Rick

 

[tugboatphil]

If you see any kind of future with her, take her with you. The fact that she wants to be there for support means a lot. My ex would find any excuse not to see my family. My new wife (and last) is always thinking about things she can do to be closer to them. A faithful woman is a treasure.

 

[thekidfan]

True. . I just dont want to bring her in at such a bad time to meet my family. I am not taking it very well, and I am having a hard time talking to her about it, so that is not helping. I know she wants to be here for me, and I really appreciate that. It's just that in a way I feel awkward taking her to a funeral with me, and meeting all my family for the first time, at the same time which we are mourning the loss of a relative. Does that make sense?

Well first and foremost I am very sorry for your loss! He must have been one great man, I wish I could say I feel your pain or I know how you feel but truth be told imo no-one knows how another feels at times like this. On to your ?

#1 Do you want her there????????? That is your answer!!

#2 in regaurds to you asking if this makes sense, nothing makes sense right now, period! Do not worry about what anyone will think you take care of yourself your pain and IF you can help family with theres do it, if not help them as you can better deal with it.

take care and hang tough I'm sure he would want it that way.

 

[Digger-Bear]

First, condolences for the loss. I dont envy your situation.



You’re having a hard time dealing with a loss. Someone you care about, and cares about you, wants to be with you - just because they think you are special and wants to help. Even if it’s just a clumsy shoulder to lean on, take her along and let her do it. She will see not letting her go as being pushed away - you dont want that - let her share the experience. The fact she is willing to put herself through that tells you that you have found someone special. Meeting people is always tough, especially in stessful times, but, she is already hanging in there like family. IMHO

 

[Hohn]

Take her with you.


A lot of people date these days but NEVER get to know each other because they don't see them as they deal with the seasons of life. You have to see someone at their best and worst to get to know them.

Take her with you, and not only will you have someone to help comfort you, but you will learn more about her and will know if she's the one for you. It will also give her a chance to learn more about you and see how you cope with grief.

In the end, it's about intimacy-- not sex, but real intimacy-- the kind that makes you feel safe to expose emotions, and be who you really are. If you don't feel that safety, and have that intimacy, then a lifelong relationship will be difficult if not impossible.

jmo

 

[mberry]

First, condolences for the loss. I dont envy your situation.



You’re having a hard time dealing with a loss. Someone you care about, and cares about you, wants to be with you - just because they think you are special and wants to help. Even if it’s just a clumsy shoulder to lean on, take her along and let her do it. She will see not letting her go as being pushed away - you dont want that - let her share the experience. The fact she is willing to put herself through that tells you that you have found someone special. Meeting people is always tough, especially in stessful times, but, she is already hanging in there like family. IMHO

Sorry for your loss. I, for one, do know how you feel. My opinion: To make this as simple as possible I would take her. Let her see you at your worst. Let her help you if she can and she obviously wants to. If it doesn't work out for you in a relationship, maybe you have made a lifelong friend from the experience? Let her see you and your family at their worst coming together for support. It can only get better from there. Again, my opinion only.

 

[TowPro]

I agree with Rick and Phil.

 

[Alan Reagan]

Take her. If they are like my family, that's when all the women get together and cook and talk and catch up. She would probably enjoy it and so would she. Even though it's a funeral, everyone seems to relax, catch up and talk about times past.

 

[C. Harlan]

Well, we went, I took her, and she ended up being a great help. . I can't thank y'all enough for all the support. . As my mom told me yesterday when she saw Uncle ben lying there, she asked me if I had gone by to see him, then asked, "Did you notice he has no wrinkles lying there?? That's because all his worries are gone, and he is happy once again. " That made me burst out in tears, and Kasey was there, right next to me the whole time comforting me, at least as much as she could. I think I took it pretty hard, just because I have never had a prominent father figure in my life, so to get away from alot of troubles, I would go down there when I was young, and help out on the farm, moving irrigation pipe, hauling cows, and all the stuff you are supposed to experience when you are young. Uncle Ben's favorite song in all his 92 years was "Amazing Grace", and one of his daughters was singing it to him when he slipped away on November 17th. Another person got up in front of everyone yesterday, strapped on a guitar, and sang it again. How he held himself together when singing is beyond my guess. . It was a great celebration of his life, and he definitely lived a full one, no doubt. I will miss that man, and like someone asked yesterday-- "Now what? Who's going to fill his shoes??" Whoever does is going to have a big duty, be it in Atascosa County, The Church, as well as on the farm.



Once again, thanks for all the help, support and replies. I cannot everyone on here-- A. K. A my extended family enough.



-Chris-

 

[IC Smoke]

Chris,

hold in there man, "everything happens for a reason" your questions now might not be completely answered but eventually they will. As for the farm... as Montgomery Grentry says "Daddy wont sell the farm" Keep a firm grip on the land that makes this country strong!



As for the lil lady, keep her close and if shes there for you in the low times she will stick to you like glue.



"The longer you live the more friends & family you will bury" & "live each day to the most" should be two quotes to live by



I lost a friend 2 years ago, I left the party early but he crashed at the house for the night... . got up in the middle of the night and left our buddies house and ended up hitting a tree, Nobody knows why he left... . He planned on crashing for the night at the house. why? nobody will ever know. were all lucky to have everyone in our lifes.





Ian

 

[TxDieselKid]

Hey Brother,



You admit you have a girlfriend? Chris Harlan is slowing down if he comes on the internet and admits that!



Like I told you on the phone brother, you made the right choice. You got my number.



Your loving( ), settled down ( ), brother,

Andrew

 

[MDW]

My condolences.

Call if you need a shoulder.



Michael

 

[bmoeller]

Sorry to hear about your uncle. Sounds like you have a good woman, there.