Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
This was allegedly posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas
>
> Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of
>
> humor. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor,
>
> and made the web department take it down immediately (for once,
>
> the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too... . )
>
> >
>
> > PRODUCT SUPPORT QUESTIONNAIRE
>
> >
>
> > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
>
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take
>
> a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
>
> Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
>
> information will help us to develop new products that best meet
>
> your needs and desires.
>
> >
>
> > 1. Title
>
> > > > > [_] Mr.
>
> > > > > [_] Mrs.
>
> > > > > [_] Ms.
>
> > > > > [_] Miss
>
> > > > > [_] Lt.
>
> > > > > [_] Gen.
>
> > > > > [_] Comrade
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > > [_] Other
>
> > > > >
>
> > First Name: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .....
>
> > Initial: ... .....
>
> > Last Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > Password: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (max. 8 char)
>
> > Code Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > > >
>
> > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] F-14 Tomcat
>
> > > > > [_] F-15 Eagle
>
> > > > > [_] F-16 Falcon
>
> > > > > [_] F-117A Stealth
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > >
>
> > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
>
> > > > > ... ..... /... ... . /... ...
>
> > > > >
>
> > 4. Serial Number: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > > >
>
> > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Received as gift / aid package
>
> > > > > [_] Catalogue / showroom
>
> > > > > [_] Independent arms broker
>
> > > > > [_] Mail order
>
> > > > > [_] Discount store
>
> > > > > [_] Government surplus
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > >
>
> > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
>
> Douglas product you have just purchased:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>
> > > > > [_] Store display
>
> > > > > [_] Espionage
>
> > > > > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>
> > > > > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>
> > > > > [_] Was attacked by one
>
> > > > >
>
> > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
>
> your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Style / appearance
>
> > > > > [_] Speed / maneuverability
>
> > > > > [_] Price / value
>
> > > > > [_] Comfort / convenience
>
> > > > > [_] Kickback / bribe
>
> > > > > [_] Recommended by salesperson
>
> > > > > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>
> > > > > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>
> > > > > [_] Backroom politics
>
> > > > > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> > > > >
>
> > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be
>
> used:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] North America
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Aircraft carrier
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Europe
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Africa
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Asia / Far East
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Misc. Third World countries
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > >
>
> > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
>
> intend to purchase in the near future:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Color TV
>
> > > > > [_] VCR
>
> > > > > [_] ICBM
>
> > > > > [_] Killer Satellite
>
> > > > > [_] Satellite Killer
>
> > > > > [_] CD Player
>
> > > > > [_] Air-to-Air Missile
>
> > > > > [_] Space Shuttle
>
> > > > > [_] Home Computer
>
> > > > > [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> > > > >
>
> > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>
> (Indicate all that apply
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Communist / Socialist
>
> > > > > [_] Terrorist
>
> > > > > [_] Crazed
>
> > > > > [_] Neutral
>
> > > > > [_] Democratic
>
> > > > > [_] Dictatorship
>
> > > > > [_] Corrupt
>
> > > > > [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> >
>
> > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Deficit spending
>
> > > > > [_] Cash
>
> > > > > [_] Suitcases of cocaine
>
> > > > > [_] Oil revenues
>
> > > > > [_] Personal check
>
> > > > > [_] Credit card
>
> > > > > [_] Ransom money
>
> > > > > [_] Traveler's check
>
> > > > >
>
> > 12. Your occupation:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Homemaker
>
> > > > > [_] Sales / marketing
>
> > > > > [_] Revolutionary
>
> > > > > [_] Clerical
>
> > > > > [_] Mercenary
>
> > > > > [_] Tyrant
>
> > > > > [_] Middle management
>
> > > > > [_] Eccentric billionaire
>
> > > > > [_] Defense Minister / General
>
> > > > > [_] Retired
>
> > > > > [_] Student
>
> > > > >
>
> > 3. To help us better understand our customers, please
>
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
>
> spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Golf
>
> > > > > [_] Boating / sailing
>
> > > > > [_] Sabotage
>
> > > > > [_] Running / jogging
>
> > > > > [_] Propaganda / misinformation
>
> > > > > [_] Destabilization / overthrow
>
> > > > > [_] Default on loans
>
> > > > > [_] Gardening
>
> > > > > [_] Crafts
>
> > > > > [_] Black market / smuggling
>
> > > > > [_] Collectibles / collections
>
> > > > > [_] Watching sports on TV
>
> > > > > [_] Wines
>
> > > > > [_] Interrogation / torture
>
> > > > > [_] Household pets
>
> > > > > [_] Crushing rebellions
>
> > > > > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>
> > > > > [_] Fashion clothing
>
> > > > > [_] Border disputes
>
> > > > > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> > > > >
>
> > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
>
> Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
>
> Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you
>
> to receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
>
> governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a
>
> bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
>
> brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
> > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military
>
> >Aerospace Division
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > >
>
> > IMPORTANT:
>
> > This email is intended for the use of the individual
>
> addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
>
> confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with
low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you
>
> are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or
>
> copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly)
> and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
>
>
> Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
>
> somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal
>
> or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
>
> transmission of this email, although the crazy dog next door is
>
> living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
>
>
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified
>
> to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this
>
> warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
>
> However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
>
> computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
>
> Website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of
>
> humor. The company, of course, does not have a sense of humor,
>
> and made the web department take it down immediately (for once,
>
> the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too... . )
>
> >
>
> > PRODUCT SUPPORT QUESTIONNAIRE
>
> >
>
> > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
>
> aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take
>
> a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below.
>
> Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
>
> information will help us to develop new products that best meet
>
> your needs and desires.
>
> >
>
> > 1. Title
>
> > > > > [_] Mr.
>
> > > > > [_] Mrs.
>
> > > > > [_] Ms.
>
> > > > > [_] Miss
>
> > > > > [_] Lt.
>
> > > > > [_] Gen.
>
> > > > > [_] Comrade
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > > [_] Other
>
> > > > >
>
> > First Name: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .....
>
> > Initial: ... .....
>
> > Last Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > Password: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (max. 8 char)
>
> > Code Name:... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > > >
>
> > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] F-14 Tomcat
>
> > > > > [_] F-15 Eagle
>
> > > > > [_] F-16 Falcon
>
> > > > > [_] F-117A Stealth
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > >
>
> > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
>
> > > > > ... ..... /... ... . /... ...
>
> > > > >
>
> > 4. Serial Number: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .
>
> > > > >
>
> > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Received as gift / aid package
>
> > > > > [_] Catalogue / showroom
>
> > > > > [_] Independent arms broker
>
> > > > > [_] Mail order
>
> > > > > [_] Discount store
>
> > > > > [_] Government surplus
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > >
>
> > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the McDonnell
>
> Douglas product you have just purchased:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
>
> > > > > [_] Store display
>
> > > > > [_] Espionage
>
> > > > > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
>
> > > > > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
>
> > > > > [_] Was attacked by one
>
> > > > >
>
> > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced
>
> your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Style / appearance
>
> > > > > [_] Speed / maneuverability
>
> > > > > [_] Price / value
>
> > > > > [_] Comfort / convenience
>
> > > > > [_] Kickback / bribe
>
> > > > > [_] Recommended by salesperson
>
> > > > > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
>
> > > > > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
>
> > > > > [_] Backroom politics
>
> > > > > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
>
> > > > >
>
> > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product will be
>
> used:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] North America
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Aircraft carrier
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Europe
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Africa
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Asia / Far East
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Misc. Third World countries
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > > [_] Classified
>
> > > > > [_] Iraq
>
> > > > >
>
> > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own or
>
> intend to purchase in the near future:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Color TV
>
> > > > > [_] VCR
>
> > > > > [_] ICBM
>
> > > > > [_] Killer Satellite
>
> > > > > [_] Satellite Killer
>
> > > > > [_] CD Player
>
> > > > > [_] Air-to-Air Missile
>
> > > > > [_] Space Shuttle
>
> > > > > [_] Home Computer
>
> > > > > [_] Nuclear Weapon
>
> > > > >
>
> > 10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
>
> (Indicate all that apply
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Communist / Socialist
>
> > > > > [_] Terrorist
>
> > > > > [_] Crazed
>
> > > > > [_] Neutral
>
> > > > > [_] Democratic
>
> > > > > [_] Dictatorship
>
> > > > > [_] Corrupt
>
> > > > > [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> >
>
> > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Deficit spending
>
> > > > > [_] Cash
>
> > > > > [_] Suitcases of cocaine
>
> > > > > [_] Oil revenues
>
> > > > > [_] Personal check
>
> > > > > [_] Credit card
>
> > > > > [_] Ransom money
>
> > > > > [_] Traveler's check
>
> > > > >
>
> > 12. Your occupation:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Homemaker
>
> > > > > [_] Sales / marketing
>
> > > > > [_] Revolutionary
>
> > > > > [_] Clerical
>
> > > > > [_] Mercenary
>
> > > > > [_] Tyrant
>
> > > > > [_] Middle management
>
> > > > > [_] Eccentric billionaire
>
> > > > > [_] Defense Minister / General
>
> > > > > [_] Retired
>
> > > > > [_] Student
>
> > > > >
>
> > 3. To help us better understand our customers, please
>
> indicate the interests and activities in which you and your
>
> spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > > [_] Golf
>
> > > > > [_] Boating / sailing
>
> > > > > [_] Sabotage
>
> > > > > [_] Running / jogging
>
> > > > > [_] Propaganda / misinformation
>
> > > > > [_] Destabilization / overthrow
>
> > > > > [_] Default on loans
>
> > > > > [_] Gardening
>
> > > > > [_] Crafts
>
> > > > > [_] Black market / smuggling
>
> > > > > [_] Collectibles / collections
>
> > > > > [_] Watching sports on TV
>
> > > > > [_] Wines
>
> > > > > [_] Interrogation / torture
>
> > > > > [_] Household pets
>
> > > > > [_] Crushing rebellions
>
> > > > > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
>
> > > > > [_] Fashion clothing
>
> > > > > [_] Border disputes
>
> > > > > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> > > > >
>
> > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.
>
> Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
>
> Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you
>
> to receive mailings and special offers from other companies,
>
> governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a
>
> bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a
>
> brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
>
> > McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION, Marketing Department, Military
>
> >Aerospace Division
>
> > > > >
>
> > > > >
>
> > IMPORTANT:
>
> > This email is intended for the use of the individual
>
> addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is
>
> confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with
low self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If you
>
> are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or
>
> copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly)
> and constitutes an irritating social faux pas.
>
>
> Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context
>
> somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal
>
> or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the
>
> transmission of this email, although the crazy dog next door is
>
> living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
>
>
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified
>
> to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this
>
> warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
>
> However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
>
> computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
