What makes a good fart?

[T-Ricky]

When you are an air traffic controller confined to a small area with 10 of your buddy's and can't leave and the only guy who can leave peals the paint off the walls. The guy I'm talking about has something wrong with him, we are just not sure what it is. The first guy under 30 that I think needs a colonoscopy. He can fill a 10000 square foot room. If you can leave you have to swim out. It is so bad that the supervisor gave him a letter. Not a big F but a reprimand. The rest of us hold it in when he's around so he want get any ideas. We are talking baaaaaaadddd.



Rick T.

 

[Phil Stuart]

All of the above

Watch out for anal leakage! Is this sick or what?:-laf



Phil

 

[RHARVEY]

I would guess some of you dont know what a fart is...



Its a turd wrapped in bubble wrap:-laf :-laf :-laf





Rick

 

[Jeff H]

Bubble wrap is cool.

 

[wcoomes]

Farts

George Carlin said it best 30 years ago, "does it remain long after... "



Let's see there was the Fizz, the Fazz, the Fizz-Fazz, the Rip****, the Tear-ass, the Snorter, and the one that goes Whooosh!

 

[rkressg]

I feel that it is a combination of all 4, and then some. It has to have that good wet feeling, yet you remain dry. :--)

 

[RHARVEY]

My Grandpa use to say some of the best was sweet potatoes...



Also he called them 'music roots'

 

[HoleshotHolset]

Anything with a tomato base, cheese, beer, legumes, not chewing your food like you should... .



All of the above seem to work for me!



Matt - devoted fartist

 

[krohn]

My truck sounds like a big gorilla fart when im coasting along at 35mph in 4th gear Does that count??Oo.

Bean soup and cabbage do the trick for me or those chili cheese fritos or taquitas

 

[Wheaties]

If you go into Burger King and order the 'Blue Cloud Special' the girl behind the counter will look at you, and get you what you want without another word; an order of onion rings!! I once drove my SO out of bed with the output from those suckers... "Oh god!", she says as she falls off the bed.

 

[HoleshotHolset]

Matt, you've been known to clear out the underside of a truck during a clutch installation. And if I do remember correctly, I was up in the cab and the bouquet even made it up 10' in the air through the hole in the floor for the shifter assembly!



Deep down - we're all fartists.



Matt "The Younger" - or "MTY"

 

[Wheaties]

Did I tell you I used to work for a furniture stripper?



I guess this is another importanf factor in a good fart. If the victim is trapped and cannot get away. This is why farting in an elevator is so rewarding.



MTE

 

[HoleshotHolset]

"I don't care what their religion is... . as long as they can hold a rake!" - random thought that Wheaties would appreciate... .



Furniture stripper? Yeah, that's appropriate... . I'm sure you could switch modes... loose the shorts and turn into a stainer!!



haha!



Matt

 

[lschultz]

I said this in the other one and I will say it again. You fellows are sick Where are your minds???12 days before Christmas and your talking about f

 

[Wheaties]

You talkin' bout Hoahs?



Yup, guess I'll spatter paint the bathroom this weekend... .



"Yes, Mrs. Boslooper, we can stain your furniture... . golden oak?... let me see if we have that in stock... Harry? What did you eat for lunch?... . "

 

[HoleshotHolset]

I said it in the other forum, and I'll say it here... .



:-laf

 

[bighammer]

Illflem, I have a theory that a held fart is absorbed into the bloodstream, then released in the gas exchange in lung tissue. Of course it may be the cause of really bad bread breath.