Attention: TDR Forum Junkies 
lschultz
TDR MEMBER
You Know You're a Redneck When... 2003 Edition!
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off a high dive.
5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
7. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
8. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
9. Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.
10. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
11. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
12. You have used a rag for a gas cap.
13. Your house doesn't have curtains and your truck does.
14. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
15. You can spit without opening your mouth.
16. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
17. You have a complete set of salad bowls,and they all say Dairy Queen on the side.
18. The biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.
19. Your working TV sits on top or your non-working TV.
20. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
21. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of Wal-Mart.
22. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
23. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.
24. You've used a toilet brush as a back scrather.
25. You missed 5th grade gradulation because you had jury duty
AND FINALLY
One day,Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
"Bubba,where'd you get that truck?!"
"Bobby Sue gave it to me"Bubba replied.
"She gave it to you?I know she was kinda sweet on ya,but a new truck?"
"Well,Jimmy Joe,let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6,in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road,put the truck in 4-wheel drive,and headed into the woods. She parked the truck,got out,threw off all her clothes and said,'Bubba,take whatever you want'.
So I took the truck and drove away!"
"Bubba,you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fir you!"
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off a high dive.
5. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
6. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
7. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
8. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
9. Your grandmother has Ammo on her Christmas list.
10. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
11. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
12. You have used a rag for a gas cap.
13. Your house doesn't have curtains and your truck does.
14. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
15. You can spit without opening your mouth.
16. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
17. You have a complete set of salad bowls,and they all say Dairy Queen on the side.
18. The biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.
19. Your working TV sits on top or your non-working TV.
20. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
21. You think a quarter horse is that ride in front of Wal-Mart.
22. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.
23. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of improvements.
24. You've used a toilet brush as a back scrather.
25. You missed 5th grade gradulation because you had jury duty
AND FINALLY
One day,Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
"Bubba,where'd you get that truck?!"
"Bobby Sue gave it to me"Bubba replied.
"She gave it to you?I know she was kinda sweet on ya,but a new truck?"
"Well,Jimmy Joe,let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6,in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road,put the truck in 4-wheel drive,and headed into the woods. She parked the truck,got out,threw off all her clothes and said,'Bubba,take whatever you want'.
So I took the truck and drove away!"
"Bubba,you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fir you!"
driving. 
